5 Phrases to Stop an Argument with Your Partner

Couple's arguments can be healthy, however, this is not always the case. Do you want to know what to do when tempers start to flare? We'll tell you.
5 Phrases to Stop an Argument with Your Partner
Elena Sanz

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Last update: 04 October, 2022

Knowing how to stop an argument with your partner in time is essential so that your relationship isn’t damaged in the long run. This is important, especially when confrontations occur on a very regular basis.

Although arguing with a partner is normal since a relationship is formed by people who are different, if it happens every day or if there’s constant wear and tear, it indicates that we must learn how to stop the arguments in a better and healthier way.

Perhaps it’s a good idea to banish common myths like “fighting means the other person likes you,” from your belief system. This normalizes arguments and can turn them into something daily and unhealthy.

Although sometimes arguments can be constructive, it’s better to know and memorize some phrases that can help to stop them before they get out of hand. We’ll share some with you in this article.

Is it possible to argue in a healthy way?

The answer to this question is a resounding “Yes!” When a couple argues and belittles or even insults each other, this is a case of an unhealthy argument. This is a red flag that we shouldn’t ignore, because it’s very possible that the relationship is toxic if this is happening.

However, the cases in which arguing may have a positive aspect are those in which the members of the relationship share their different points of view on a given situation. They may get upset and raise their voices a little if they get too worked up while explaining how they see the circumstances, but there’s never any contempt.

They always listen to each other and search for common ground. That is to say, they negotiate.

It’s not easy to maintain healthy aruments because the references we usually have aren’t usually the best examples. For instance, the arguments that our parents may have starred in or that we can see on television are by no means healthy models.

However, you can always do personal work to change this and learn how to argue in a healthier way.

stop an argument
As a couple, you can argue from a framework of respect and confront your different opinions to reach a common goal.

The best phrases to stop an argument with your partner

When you don’t know anything about how to stop an arguments with our partners, the following phrases that we’re going to share with you can help. Then, with time, each person will come to discover their own phrases and techniques.

These expressions will manage to calm the mood when the arguments are starting to feel unhealthy. Therefore, we can start putting them into practice in future discussions to see their effect.

1. “I think this is the best, but what do you think?”

Many arguments never seem to have an end because the people in the relationship want what they think or believe to be automatically accepted by the other person without listening to what the other person actually has to say. When you utter this phrase, however, the argument often cools down since your partner has the opportunity to express his or her point of view in order to reach common ground.

This is a very appropriate phrase to stop couple arguments in a healthy context. You give place and voice to the other person by saying it.

2. “I agree/you’re right about this.”

This is another expression that often stops arguments that are getting out of hand. Many times, the anger of the argument can cause us to deny that reason and magnify the situation.

Just as we can say, “I don’t agree. Look, this is my way of seeing things,” we can also state the opposite. This is not an act of weakness.

3. “It hurts me when you say or do that.”

Another way to stop couple arguments is to express one’s feelings and emotions assertively. We can’t leave it up to the other person to guess what feels good or what doesn’t.

Therefore, we must learn how to express our emotions and how what our partner has said or done has affected us. This is especially helpful if we tend to always start arguments for the same reasons. Assertive dialogue is the key.

Like this article? You may also like to read: 5 Signs that Your Partner is Losing Interest in the Relationship

4. “Should we take a break and continue later?”

This phrase to stop couple arguments is very interesting when tempers are getting too hot. If we notice that the tone is becoming aggressive and that we are blaming or attacking the other, a good way is to take a break and come back to the topic later.

This allows us to adopt another point of view, reflect and direct the discussion towards something constructive. There is almost always time to spare to cool down.

stop an argument
Pausing the conversation to cool down is a very good tactic. Tempers calm down this way, and we return to the conversation with a different attitude. 

5. “Why do we always end up arguing about this?”

This last of these phrases is very powerful, as it will help clarify the reasons why an argument has occurred to begin with. We may come to the conclusion that we’re bothered by certain habits the other person has and that, by not communicating this in an assertive way, a succession of complaints and arguments is triggered.

Arguments stop if we learn to manage our emotions

It’s not easy to stop couple arguments with these phrases if we haven’t learned how to manage our emotions in a healthy way properly. Fortunately, there are specialists who can help us.

Everything we learn from a therapist, coach, or psychologist will also help us in our relationships with friends and work colleagues. At the end of the day, it’s all about improving human relationships.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Enriquez, A. L. G., Escobedo, M. M. R., Estrada, R. J., Vaquera, A. R. S., & Bustillos, F. D. L. V. (2017, October). Asertividad ante la dependencia en los conflictos de pareja. In [2018] Congreso Internacional de Ciencias Sociales.
  • Hernando-Gómez, Á., Maraver-López, P., & Pazos-Gómez, M. (2016). Experiencias positivas y negativas en relaciones de pareja de jóvenes y adolescentes. Revista de psicología (Santiago), 25(2), 01-19.
  • Rodríguez, F., & Córdova, L. (2009). Violencia en la pareja: manifestaciones concretas y factores asociados. Espacio abierto18(2), 323-338.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.