5 Signs that Your Partner is Losing Interest in the Relationship

Do you feel like your partner is losing interest in the relationship? In this article, we'll tell you how you can tell and what you should do.
5 Signs that Your Partner is Losing Interest in the Relationship

Last update: 27 May, 2022

Have you noticed that your partner is losing interest and is more distant? Does he or she no longer call you by the affectionate nickname you liked so much? All couples evolve over time and, although you may not have noticed it, you’ve also evolved yourself! However, what happens if you notice your partner losing interest in the relationship?

First of all, take a deep breath! There’s no need to panic, as it may be temporary. Sometimes, whether it be for work reasons or because we’re not feeling well (i.e., we’re more sad and apathetic) we may distance ourselves from our partner without realizing it. Therefore, it’s possible that this loss of interest in the relationship has nothing to do with you.
To know this, it’s important that you communicate with your partner. If they no longer have time to spend together, is slow to respond to messages, and is not as affectionate as before, ask what’s wrong and talk to them. Silence will only increase the discomfort.

Common reasons for losing interest in a relationship

Time is one of the reasons that play against any relationship. In fact, the European Institute of Positive Psychology explains that some couples settle into a routine in which the spontaneity and time together begin to reduce almost to disappear.

We often have the misconception that love is enough, and experts in psychology and relationships don’t cease to insist that this isn’t the case. A relationship must be tended and cultivated, because routine and time will end up absorbing it to such an extent that we may longer even recognize what it is that unites us to the other person.

Another reason why a person may lose the desire in the relationship is that they’ve met a new person who’s making feelings that were dormant surface. There may also be an attachment to infatuation and, when it ends, so does their interest.

Falta de interés en la pareja.

5 signs that your partner is losing interest in the relationship

Now you know a little more about the loss of interest in a relationship, it’s important to know that there are unmistakable signs that something is going on. Recognizing them is critical. We must do our part to solve the situation and make decisions about whether to continue or break up.

1. There’s hardly any physical contact

We’re not talking about sex, but about caresses, holding hands, and kissing. These are signs of affection that should be present every day or may have been present every day, but now have disappeared.

This can be a clear sign that there’s a loss of interest and it’s important that it’s resolved. If we’re affectionate and need these tokens of love, not receiving them from our partner won’t be healthy for us.

2. No longer asks questions shows your partner is losing interest in a relationship

In relationships, it’s normal to be interested in how our partner’s day has gone, what anecdotes they can tell us, and what worries them. However, all this may be absent when we lose interest in the relationship.

We may feel that our partner doesn’t care about us. This must be resolved to avoid more damage.

3. You’re arguing frequently

Is it a bad sign to argue in a relationship? According to psychologist Silvia Congost, is isn’t, but we must learn how to do it in a healthy way. 
Communicating what you think and feel assertively , without shouting, without threats, and without insults is important so that the arguments don’t damage the relationship. When it’s difficult to manage them, it can be an indication that something is wrong.

4. Your partner is always on their cell phone

It’s normal that our partner may pick up their cell phone at a certain moment to check a message or answer a call.

However, if we’re with them and their cell phone is in their hands for half an hour or an hour instead of enjoying our company and talk, they may be losing interest.

Pareja con teléfonos móviles.
Excessive attention to cell phones causes wear and tear on relationships, often generating arguments and friction.

5. You don’t make any plans together

Escaping for a weekend, going for a walk, visiting somewhere new… When all this is absent in our relationship, the other person may have lost interest. Even watching a movie together can be a fun plan to enjoy, but sometimes, not even this happens.

You might find this interesting: How to Identify Red Flags in a Relationship

What to do when your partner is losing interest

Again, we’d like to insist on the importance of not standing still and doing nothing. A partner’s loss of interest in a relationship is painful, and time won’t work miracles if we don’t act. Therefore, the first step is to talk to the other person and ask them what’s going on.

If they don’t want to tell us anything, it’s essential that you communicate how you’re feeling and what you’ve detected. This will also give you a certain degree of relief that will be positive for your emotional health.

In the case that you don’t achieve anything, proposing to go to couple’s therapy may be one of the best decisions we can make. If there’s a refusal on their behalf, going to psychological sessions ourselves can help us to make a healthy decision.
It’s unsustainable to be next to a person who has lost interest and who no longer contributes to the relationship. Also, it’s never pleasant to begin to realize that our partner is bored. However, it can be very painful if this situation drags on for a long time. That’s why it’s important to get help as soon as possible.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Aguilar Montes de Oca, Y. P., Bernal Hernández, V. H., Torres Muñoz, M. A., Alvarado Orozco, J., & González Arratia López Fuentes, N. I. (2018). Causas de apatía en parejas casadas y en unión libre. Acta de investigación psicológica8(1), 83-94.
  • Vera, A. S., Navarro, E. L., Pina, M. R., & León, M. Á. M. Influencia del WhatsApp en las relaciones de pareja. REVISTA DE FUNDAMENTOS DE PSICOLOGÍA9(11), 4.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.