The Signs of a Spoiled Rotten Child
Surely you’ve come across a spoiled rotten child screaming and kicking in the middle of a supermarket, hitting other children, or disrespecting their parents. In general, bratty children are easy to detect from the outside as their behavior is striking and disruptive.
However, it isn’t so easy to accept when your own child commits these transgressions. Spoiled children aren’t only a challenge for parents and teachers. In fact, they’re the ones who are most harmed by these types of attitudes.
This is because they end up experiencing rejection by others and becoming involved in constant conflict. Also, they reach adulthood without having acquired many essential interpersonal tools. For this reason, it’s important to detect and correct these types of behaviors.
Things that can make your child spoiled rotten
Spoiled children aren’t born that way. Their behavior is the result of an inadequate parenting style implemented at home. Continue reading to find out what are some of the mistakes you may have made if your child is misbehaving.
Children need limits to grow emotionally and psychologically healthy. Thus, simple requests such as “don’t eat sweets before dinner” or “pick up your toys after using them” help guide them and actually make them feel safe.
Keep in mind that, these limits must be clear, coherent, and consistent. So don’t give in to stop your child from crying or to avoid a conflict. Doing so will undermine your authority and send confusing signals.
Understandably, some parents want to make life easier for their children. However, this often means depriving them of opportunities to learn to tolerate and handle frustration. Children have to acquire responsibilities according to their age and assume the consequences of their actions.
Thus, it’s alright to help your child, just don’t do everything for them. That’ll make them believe that they only have rights and not responsibilities.
Find out more about Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Children
In contrast, the opposite isn’t appropriate either. This is because you cannot relate to your children by only barking orders and commands, by yelling and threatening.
Children need to feel loved, respected, listened to, and taken into account. Otherwise, the bond deteriorates, and rebelliousness and behavioral problems will increase.
Have you ever stopped to think about how you address your child? Do you tend to raise your voice and get into power struggles and say “no” to everything?
Well, it isn’t surprising for them to repeat and imitate your behavior and that of other adults around them. Remember: you’re their main role model.
Signs that a child is spoiled rotten
As we mentioned above, it isn’t easy to admit that your child is spoiled. So look for the following signs if you’re wondering.
1. Frequent tantrums
Tantrums are common between the ages of two and four. However, their presence beyond that age may indicate the child is spoiled.
This is because tantrums at an older age are no longer due to the lack of resources to express emotions, but used to manipulate adults and get what they want.
Find out how Childhood Boundaries Are an Act of Love
2. Excessive whims
Spoiled children don’t value what they have and are never satisfied. Does your child tire of their toys right away and want new ones? They requested their favorite dinner and now they want to eat something else?
It’s important to check what is going on when a child wants it all, wants it now, and won’t take a “no” for an answer.
3. Lack of politeness is the main sign of a spoiled rotten child
Everyone must address each other with respect and consideration to thrive in any society. This includes asking for permission and saying “please” or “thank you” but also not being rude to others.
A child who addresses others disrespectfully or disparagingly and makes hurtful comments, hits, or raises their voice is definitely spoiled rotten.
It’s normal for children to not always do as you say at the first request and so is them resisting to do something they don’t want to do. However, spoiled children deliberately ignore their parents’ orders and requests and disregard their responsibilities.
How do you correct and deal with a spoiled rotten child?
Fortunately, it’s possible to correct a problematic attitude in children. To do so, you must analyze those things you’re not doing right and make some adjustments in your parenting style:
- Set clear rules and try to stick to them and don’t give in to tiredness or pressure.
- Allow your child to take responsibility and don’t do anything for them they can do themselves.
- Trade orders and threats for respect and dialogue and also explain the reasons behind your requests or your refusals to their wishes (“because I said so” won’t work).
- Start being a positive role model and address your child as you would like them to address others. Also, try not to rise to their level when they yell, cry or defy you.
- Reinforce appropriate behaviors, begin to value their good attitudes, and spend more time with them doing mutually rewarding activities.
Family changes take time
Parenting is a complex and demanding task so all parents make mistakes. Don’t blame or punish yourself. Instead, congratulate yourself when you recognize and properly handle this kind of situation.
Changing family dynamics isn’t easy and your child will probably resist. However, you’ll be ensuring a better psychological development and, therefore, a happier life for them when you do.
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