How to Be Happy in Your Own Way

· September 11, 2016
Is it possible to be truly happy? The key is to be yourself and not the person other people want you to be. Read on and find out more.

When it comes to happiness, you don’t need to adapt to society’s demands or guidelines. Everyone has their own formula for being happy, and in today’s article we’ll show you how to be happy in your own way.

There are few things out there that we want as much as simply being happy. For a lot of people, rather than being something they’re worried about, happiness and well-being are something they experience constantly.

However, most people are looking for answers in books and are trying to explain what exactly is happening around them and in their own minds. All this does is bring them stress and worry as their constant companions.

It’s not easy. It’s hard to achieve that inner peace that says “I feel good, I don’t want or need anything more.”

But it’s important to keep two essential things in mind:

  • First of all, there is no magical formula for being happy.
  • The second thing is just as basic: be happy in your own way. Not everything works in the same way for everyone, and no one has the right to tell you what you need to do to achieve it.

Personal well-being is a very personal path that you yourself must find, choose and create. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

Read more: The 5 Types of Happiness

Keys to remember today, in order to be happy tomorrow

Woman with black cat reading a book.

Positive psychology reminds us of “bad” habits that a lot of people have. Among them are waiting the whole week for Friday to come along so you can have some fun, depending on your holidays to be able to relax, and dreaming that the perfect partner will come along to teach you what true love is.

If you limit yourself to waiting, to postponing and to scheduling your happiness…what have you got in the meantime? This is one of the most common problems that people have.

But another common thing is that, very often, people understand happiness from a perspective of external constructs. These are usually ideas that other people, or even society, have projected  for us. Or even one that you yourself have projected. Two of these are:

  • The need to “have things” in order to be happy: a good job, a house, the latest cell phone, lots of shoes, furniture, computers…
  • The idea that in order to be happy you have to have a partner, kids, and lots and lots of friends…

This is definitely not good. Let’s look through a few different ideas to reflect on.

What about you? What do you do to be happy?

Making positive decisions is one of the most effective secrets to happiness on a daily basis.

In order to be happy, you must make decisions that are the best ones for you, and not ones that other people have decided are the best.

  • Maybe happiness for you means staying at home over the weekend reading peacefully. In that case, you need to let go of the people that say you’re boring.
  • If happiness for you means loving yourself without needing to find someone else to love you, then stop listening to people who say it’s time for you to find the perfect partner.
  • Or, alternatively, if happiness for you means having a job you’re passionate about, don’t listen to people who say you need to find a job that pays more.
Woman doing rituals.

I’m going to be happy and I don’t know when I’ll be back

Go, and be happy.” It’s as simple as that. Sometimes we cling to certain places, customs, things and people that we’re familiar with. This blocks us from seeing what our priorities are.

We fall into tiny viscous circles where we tell ourselves that routine is better than spontaneity. We also tell ourselves that it’s better to stick to what other people expect of you, rather than disappoint them…

  • All of this, even though you don’t realize it, is creating an endless list of defense mechanisms that turn you into a prisoner. You stop letting yourself be happy because you think it’s better to stick to the path that other people have chosen for you.
  • But how can I do something that my family doesn’t want me to? How can I react if my friends won’t understand? How can I tell my partner that I’m just not that happy anymore?

Decide to be true to yourself. Go…and be happy.

See also: Whoever Judges My Path Should Walk in My Shoes

A drawing of a woman.

My plan for today: be happy

We said it at the beginning. We don’t have to postpone happiness until Friday, or vacations, or for when you have a bigger house or the perfect partner.

Life is now, at this very moment. Of course we all have obligations. There will always be someone who tells you “you can’t be happy if you have to stick to a schedule or go to a job everyday.”

You need to reinterpret these ideas appropriately. Find a job that makes you feel good. Have responsibilities that personally enrich you. Make your routines important and useful for you.

No matter what you do, find your own interests. Don’t let anyone or anything make you feel used, manipulated or unhappy. At the end of the day, we only have one life… so why not take advantage of it?

Seligman, M. E. P., & Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2014). Positive psychology: An introduction. In Flow and the Foundations of Positive Psychology: The Collected Works of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-017-9088-8_18