I Loved You Until My Dignity Said: I Deserve More

In every relationship we have, romantic or not, we need to remember that we deserve respect.

Written and verified by psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 27 May, 2022

Dignity is a personal and emotional boundary that works as a psychological shield. Depending on where we set this limit, both our intimate and social relationships will enjoy better health and balance.

Additionally, dignity in close relationships shouldn’t accept rain checks or make concessions. The moment we start to give in to others and allow bad behavior, this exceptional and valuable shield begins to break down.

We’re taught that when we love someone we should give a lot to this person in exchange for nothing. However, sometimes, it can be difficult to see where the genuine return of emotion starts and where that boundary ends. This is where we find devious, discreet but greedy blackmail that’s capable of manipulating our emotions.

It’s important to remember to safeguard your personal integrity. Today, we’d like to invite you to reflect on this important topic in our article.

Dignity is the respect that you have for yourself

“I loved you until my dignity said: I deserve more!” If you’ve ever felt this way, then you’ll remember the internal process that led you to realize that love sometimes has a limit, and it’s called dignity.

People help build our self-esteem over the course of our lives. The way in which our parents raised us undoubtedly has a large impact, but believe it or not, it’s not a determining factor.

We all go through experiences that, over time, can weaken these internal defenses that we had initially put up:

• A complicated close relationship
• A job where your rights are violated
• An accident, a traumatic loss, or even a betrayal…

Many situations can cause an upset in our self-esteem. What we’re trying to say here is that sometimes we think we’re invulnerable; in essence, we think that nothing can break our boundaries, that we can do everything.

However, we only believe this because we’re in our comfort zone. So, when external factors cause us to lose touch with that sense of self-control, we lose it all.

Dignity should always be present

There are some loves that we approach with blindfolds over our eyes and our hearts ready to go. They’re leaps of faith into the void that we do freely because we feel like it’ll work out. All of this is completely understandable, so long as we don’t compromise our dignity in the process. Certainly, sometimes in intimate relationships, we see no limit; w e give everything without expecting anything in return. Any effort contributes to making your partner happy.

Until one fine day where we realize the deep emptiness that we feel inside. It’s not because anything is lacking. it’s because it’s all wrong; we’re not in harmony and we spend all our energy on one person whilst they feed the other person with scraps. And that other person is you.

There are times in our lives when it pays to be brave and take risks. However, keep in mind what you have at stake: your self-esteem, your dignity, and your right to be happy. The moment any of these comes under threat, it’s time to make a decision.

Read more: Practice Self-Love and You’ll Be Loved as You Wish to Be

Your thoughts give you power

Whenever you find yourself in an emotionally tough situation and you need to reinforce your dignity, repeat these three phrases. Consequently, reflecting on these words will allow you to internalize a series of ideas that will stir up two essential emotions inside of you: courage and bravery. Take note of the following:

• I deserve to be loved.
• Living together requires knowing how to work together as a team.
• Anyone who truly loves me will never manipulate me or hold something over my head.
• Anyone who loves me will care for me every day.
• No one can or should tell me how to live my life or be happy.
• I’m not need to please and like everyone.
• Saying “NO” to something isn’t a selfish act: it’s defending my dignity.
• A good partner strengthens my self-esteem, never destroys it.
• I have the right to express my thoughts, to say what I want and don’t want.
• I can and must control my reality. And I don’t have to do what others want or desire.
• True love starts with loving myself. If everything around me is making me feel like I’m worthless, it means something is wrong and I need to do something about it.
• I’m a beautiful, strong, courageous person who has just as much of a right to happiness as anyone else. No one can put a fence around my life or wants.
• I will defend the people I love, above all. However, I also ask that the people who love me respect, defend and value me as I deserve.

Dignity, that pressing subject

In conclusion, personal dignity is an important aspect of ourselves that we should give more attention to. But instead, we tend to ignore it. It provides us with self-esteem, happiness. and the strength that we deserve and should be able to experience every day. For that reason, it’s important you look after yourself both inside and out. Bit by bit, you’ll notice that you feel a lot better about yourself and that your life starts to look a lot brighter.

Overall, remember that if you think you need help, you can always visit a psychologist. The professional will give you the guidance you need to start making the changes. And these will help you grow and head in the direction you want.