Practice Self-Love and You’ll Be Loved as You Wish to Be

· November 11, 2016
It's odd that we teach children where to find the world's capital cities but we don't teach them how to practice self-love.

Making the mistake of measuring your worth by how much you’re loved by others can often lead to disappointment. In fact, in order to trust that someone loves you, you really need to love yourself first. Practice self-love and you’ll see that you don’t need anyone else’s approval to know you’re worthy of love.

You might like: Self-Love 101: How to Love Yourself

If you’ve received false love or affection based on pain and manipulation, then you’ll end up believing that you don’t deserve to be loved. These are very complex and destructive situations, which no one has prepared us for.

We should teach children how to see themselves for the exceptional beings that they are. People often deserve better than what they think they deserve.

Therefore, today’s article will be about the topic of self-love. We’ll specifically talk about how to practice self-love often and teach these same strategies to children.

No One Deserves Your Attention as Much as You Do

Society often teaches us values that can turn out to be a double-edged sword: self-love. Loving the reflection in the mirror is sometimes seen as egotistical.

Cultural values teach us to be thankful, let people exit a room before we enter, help thy neighbor, give everything for those we love, etc.

It’s true that all these may be honorable actions that we shouldn’t stop practicing. However, we should also teach ourselves to practice self-love and to have integrity and high self-esteem.

Don’t measure yourself based on what you receive

Imagine that a child was bullied at school. Now imagine this child is always alone at home. She doesn’t receive the appropriate affection and attention from her parents.

Now, imagine this same child as an adult. Additionally, think about her efforts to maintain happy emotional, mature and enriching relationships. If she doesn’t achieve this, she will probably end up that she’s a person who doesn’t deserve to be loved.

Woman hugging herself practice self-love

Even though this seems harsh, many people have experiences like this.

It’s true that having a traumatic childhood doesn’t definitely mean that we’ll have negative emotional relationships. However, it’s a factor that bears considerable weight when determining the quality of our future relationships.

How to Practice Self-Love

  • Don’t measure your worth based on what you receive from others.
  • Love yourself every day like you deserve and don’t wait for others to give you what you’ve been waiting for.
  • Don’t seek constant approval for your actions and thoughts. You’re your own judge. That’s right, you’re the person who must give life, support, and effort in every action you decide to carry out.
  • If your childhood and teenage years were not happy times in your life, try to separate the past from the present. You already know what it means to grow up without healthy, stable, and affectionate love. Therefore, leave this in the past and know the future is brighter.
  • Heal your wounds by practicing self-love. Pamper yourself and protect yourself from things that could harm you, but also embark on new paths that lead to the hope of becoming better each day.
  • You will attract the attention you think you deserve.

You deserve a lot more than what some people give you

Sometimes we simply don’t give up on people. Despite not being exactly happy with a certain relationship, we say to ourselves, “That’s life! I’m not gonna find anything better and this is better than being alone.”

Whether we want this or not, emotional stagnation clings to this implicit and subtle suffering that undermines our self-esteem.

Unfortunately, we get used to the emptiness, regret, contempt, and even unhappiness. This is something dangerous, given that we lose everything when defeatism creeps into our life.

Woman illustration with eyes covered gloves practice self-love

You deserve a lot more than what some people give you. Even if you believe it or not, this is because there are some people who don’t know how to love others and who don’t understand what reciprocity is, which are the two cornerstones of sincere love.

This type of person doesn’t worry about or make an effort to bring smiles instead of tears to the relationship.

You might like: 7 Ways to Love Your Life

Tips for Avoiding Painful Relationships: Practice Self-Love

  • You shouldn’t get involved in these types of relationships. Love should bring joy, not sorrow. Be brave and leave behind the pain you’ve experienced so that you can get back your integrity.
  • Integrity means finding a link between what we deserve, what we feel, and what we do in our daily lives. In other words, it’s a balance between mind, heart, and action.
  • Really love yourself like you deserve to be love, even if you have to spend some time alone for a while. This option will always be better than living with someone who hurts you.

You’re a wonderful person who deserves the best in life. Fight for this, fight for yourself, and fight for those you love. Continue to practice self-love so you never settle for less tthanyou deserve.

  • Campbell, W. K., Rudich, E. A., & Sedikides, C. (2002). Narcissism, self-esteem, and the positivity of self-views: Two portraits of self-love. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin28(3), 358-368.
  • Fromm, E. (1939). Selfishness and self-love. William Alanson White Psychiatric Foundation.