My Lover Never Gives Me Presents

Do you often compare your relationship with those of others and wonder why your partner doesn't give you gifts? You're making a huge mistake if so. In today's article we'll tell you why your lover may not express their love to you this way.

Reviewed and approved by the philosopher Isbelia Esther Farías López.

Written by Isbelia Esther Farías López

Last update: 12 August, 2022

Surely you’ve compared your relationship with those of your friends and feel envious of certain expressions of “material affection” you don’t have such as the presents they get.

“They don’t give you gifts because they don’t love you enough” you think in the middle of a fit of insecurity. However, you should know it isn’t necessarily the case.

Everyone expresses love in different ways. While it’s true that you should take material realm into account, you must also analyze the reason for the lack of presents.

Let’s go deeper.

Does a lover who never gives you presents loves you?

The first thing you should know is people aren’t always as attentive and thoughtful as their partners expect. Furthermore, it doesn’t change with time.

Clearly, not all people are the same. While some are very thoughtful and take any chance they can get to surprise their partner, others don’t. However, this doesn’t mean one is better than the other. They’re just different.

Indeed, not getting presents on Valentine’s Day can be hurtful, but it doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t love you or wants to get rid of you. When in doubt, it’s always best to communicate with them.

Your lover doesn’t give you presents and you would like them to

We all like to be made to feel special. If this, in addition to key dates, happens in the form of a surprise, you’ll probably be more than satisfied.

It doesn’t have to be expensive or trendy. A mere bouquet of wildflowers, a poster of your favorite band, or movie tickets, can make anyone feel like the luckiest person in the world.

If you miss this and your partner’s clueless behavior is hurting you more and more, then, talk to them. It’s possible they haven’t even noticed and think you don’t care.

Through communication you’ll be able to state your point of view, and it’s likely that, if they really love you, will make an effort from now on. You just have to give them a chance to explain themselves.

My lover isn’t detail-oriented but they’re always there when I need them

Displays of affection don’t always manifest as a box of chocolates or tickets to a game. Some people show their love with other attitudes that often have much more value.

Making an official commitment and walking hand in hand in front of everyone with a big smile may be more affectionate than paying for a trip, for example. That is to say, many times an action is more of a present than a material good.

The best gift a couple can give is their presence in the hardest moments. A silent embrace, a fair word and an active ear are the highest expressions of love.

Things Have Changed Since the Beginning of Our Relationship

Some partners change over time, meaning they’re no longer as attentive as they were in the beginning. The lack of interest, passivity, and lack of desire and originality are noticeable.

One of the possibilities for this to happen is that a level of comfort and security has been reached where the other person feels it’s no longer necessary to do more. If this is the case, it’s a good time to talk to your partner about it.

Another less pleasant option may be that, in reality, the infatuation has faded. Either way, the best thing to do is to talk calmly and maturely about how you feel and why they’re behaving the way they are.

Every couple is different

Being in a relationship means there’s a unique bond between people. So, everything that happens should be according to the priorities or desires of those involved in it. What happens with the people around you shouldn’t affect or influence your own story.

If others express themselves with gifts, there’s no obligation for your partner to do the same. They’re two different relationships and imitations don’t guarantee success. In this respect, it’s worth remembering that comparisons don’t lead to anything good and so, you better avoid them.

In addition to talking about your expectations of the relationship, it can also be good to set an example. If one of you is being thoughtful, perhaps the other will get the message and be encouraged to express their affection and interest.

Likewise, if you feel that, despite talking to your partner, they don’t care about your feelings and don’t care to change, breaking up might be best. You deserve to be with someone who cares about you.