Is It Difficult for You to Express Love to Your Partner?

If you find it difficult to express the love you feel towards your partner, maybe you should look inside to try to find the reason, since it is probably due to your previous experiences
Is It Difficult for You to Express Love to Your Partner?

Last update: 27 May, 2022

Expressing the love you feel for another person can be very difficult. This, without a doubt, can cause various problems in love relationships.

We need our partners to express love for us verbally, not just with actions. This comforts us, makes us feel good, and can even make us gain some security.

However, what weight do words have for us? If our partner is capable of expressing love only with acts, why is not this enough for us?

The reasons why it costs you to express love

There are several reasons why you find it hard to express love to your partner.

To discover them, we have to go back to childhood, the stage where most of the problems that we have to face in adulthood are born.

Sad Mother and Daughter

Some of these reasons are the following:

  • Expressions of love are not familiar words to you.
  • You’re afraid of commitment.
  • You’ve had disappointing love experiences.
  • Or, you may suffer from alexithymia.

Except for the last case, all the previous ones are based on experiences or situations that have marked the steps that you are now taking in romantic relationships.

If your parents did not use words of love, it is natural that you have not learned to relate like that in a couple.

In the same way, if you have had painful experiences or if for you romantic relationships are linked to the word “pain”, it is possible that this has led to a fear of commitment.

Although all this has marked you, you can choose how to act in your romantic relationships. You are an adult and responsible for your life. Being aware, you can learn to express love to your partner.

The last of the cases, alexithymia, is exceptional. If you are not able to express love to your partner because you suffer from this neurological disorder, a professional will be the best person to indicate the steps you should follow.

Your partner is a great help

If the problem of not being able to express love is due to painful experiences, it is important that you know that your partner plays a very important role.

express love

The natural tendency will be to beat yourself up for not telling your partner what you feel. They’ll be mad at you for that. All this does not help you.

Therefore, it is important that couples are aware that they have an important job in their hands. They can help the person who is not able to express what they feel, do it.

To do this, we must take into account certain points:

  • Communicate with your partner with love. Never use anger to reprimand them for something that is not so easy for them.
  • Choose a quiet, comfortable place, where both of you are comfortable. This is the best way to talk about a subject as sensitive as emotions.
  • Be empathetic and patient. For your partner, expressing love is very difficult. Put yourself in their place.

The positive of all this is that, although one helps the other to express love, the other person will also be learning.

You will discover how you manage your emotions, the way you express them, if you are able to externalize your anger or rage in the right way …

Difficulties Expressing Love

Heal the past

Although your partner is a great help, it will be very important to go to a professional who can guide you to go the right way.

Healing the wounds of the past is never easy and that is where you have to influence. If the past does not heal, it will be very difficult for emotions to be expressed.

Anyway, we would have to ask ourselves what value is held in our partner expressing the love they feel for us through words.

Couple Kissing

Perhaps they do it more than anything through actions, but in our mind we harbor some belief that endows words with greater importance.

Maybe we should remember all those relationships where a lot of verbal love is expressed, but in practice they remain unproven.

What has more weight?

Principal image courtesy of ©

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Comte-Sponville, A. (2015). El amor. Ni El Sexo Ni La Muerte.
  • Maureira, F. (2011). Los Componentes de la Relación de Pareja. Revista Electrónica de Psicología Iztacala.
  • Barrios, A., & Pinto, B. (2008). El Concepto De Amor En La Pareja. AJAYU.
  • Maureira C, F. (2009). Amor y adicción: comparación de las características neurales y conductuales . Love and addiction : Rev Chil Neuropsicol.
  • Portocarrero, C. I. C. (2012). Intervención al duelo por ruptura de pareja desde la terapia cognitivo conductual a partir del análisis de cuatro casos. Polisemia. 10.1074/Jbc.M313825200
  • VV.AA. (2009).Effects of Parental Divorce on Marital Commitment and Confidence.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.