Thinking about what has happened, many times, does not allow us to enjoy the present, let alone look to the future. Therefore, it is essential to learn to heal the wounds of the past. The deeper marks are engraved “by fire”, but, we have the ability to leave them aside. Find out how in the next article.
Cure wounds from the past and eliminate pain
At some point in life we have all experienced an immense and impossible to explain emotional pain. It hurts a lot and it seems that nothing and nobody can help us. However, it is in us how we act before that mark that has been left on us by the death of a loved one, a separation, or a great trauma.
This means that it is in our hands to put aside what hurts us, heal wounds from the past, and move on. It is common to blame others for what happens to us. We do not assume our share of responsibility in that situation and we want the other to apologize.
Of course, your feelings are genuine and very strong, but what you do about it: accumulate hatred, resentment, and pain is not healthy for you (and not for others). If you cling too much to the past you will relive that distressing situation again and again. And if your mind is focused on those thoughts … you cannot have new, comforting, or healing experiences.
For this reason, learning to heal wounds from the past is essential. Forget that situation that has left you devastated, depressed, or immobile. Go through the grieving stage and do not give it more importance than it really deserves. It is in you to look to the future!
Advice to heal wounds of the past
Painful incidents leave us with very deep traces. It is true that everyone needs to go through different stages to overcome it, but there are many people who cling to those negative feelings.
It’s time to leave behind everything that hurts you. You must look to the future to be able to heal the wounds of the past. Do not forget that as long as the trauma is still present, anything will make it come out and prevent you from being happy.
1. Understand the situation
You may have been hurt or abandoned. That has taken you to your current situation. Understanding the situation does not mean thinking over and over again what happened; it means analyzing what happened and knowing, for example, what your beliefs are about the situation, why you feel that way, and how you can get ahead anyway. Look at everything as if it was not happening to you: What would you say to someone who goes through the same thing?
2. Accept that it has been necessary
At some point, the decisions or attitudes you have taken helped you to survive in a horrible situation. You have protected yourself as any other person would. But the time has come to change the approach. You no longer need self-pity or the pain. It is time to modify the angle of the problem. You are stronger than you think.
3. Do not resist your thoughts
One of the teachings that are offered in meditation is that when a thought appears we must “blow” it to disperse it, just as it would happen with a cloud that moves with the wind. If we fight against him he will become stronger and more persistent. Try not to think about an apple … you will spend all day thinking about that fruit! The mind can play tricks on us.
Therefore, the next time these thoughts or feelings related to a past wound appear, the best thing you can do is to focus on something else. Change the suffering for the motivation. Do not stay at home remembering yesterday. Live today and think about the future.
4. Do something that you like
It is true that when we are depressed or distressed we do not have the courage to do anything. We would prefer to spend the whole weekend in bed watching romantic movies, listening to sad music, or crying while we stir up memories.
It is important that when you feel bad you do something that takes away that feeling. Start with something small, like watching funny videos to renew energies and get out of bed. Then take the opportunity to take a walk with your pet, take an immersion bath, or prepare a delicious lunch. Sometimes cleaning or sorting the house helps clear the mind.
5. Put the calendar aside
Sometimes we feel sadder than usual on a specific date. It can be the day you have ended a relationship, or that a family member has died. On those painful anniversaries we have to find the best possible motivation. For those days, organize something nice, that makes you feel good about yourself.
For example, you can go on a trip to a place never visited before, ask for an appointment at the beauty salon, or meet those friends who always make you laugh. Do not feel guilty for continuing with your life: you have the right to be happy.
The last step to heal wounds of the past is to think about the lessons learned, which have surely made you wiser, stronger, more powerful, or bolder. The next time you have to go through something bad or depressing, you will have the right tools to cope and overcome it in the best way.