5 Keys to Overcoming Emotional Suffering
All of us, at some point, have gone through an experience that has caused us a lot of emotional pain. However, is there a way to overcome the emotional suffering?
Every time that we go through something difficult, all that we hear from those around us is “You’ll see, it gets better,” “You’ll feel better soon,” “come on, don’t cry.” However, this doesn’t help us at all during those times.
Today, we will give you five keys to overcoming emotional suffering that don’t include escaping it or ignoring it. Instead, they have you face it head on in the best way. Let’s find out how.
1. Admit: “I’m going through a bad time”
What happens when you’re feeling bad, but someone asks us how you are? Be honest: you usually lie, tell them that everything is good, and even sometimes add a “like always.”
However, in order to overcome emotional pain, you have to start to be honest.
It isn’t the worst thing in the world to state that you’re not okay, that you’re not feeling our best and that you’re hurting.
You might think that by doing so you are looking for pity, and you might even have phrases like, “I’m not looking for your pity“ in your mind.
However, being honest with those around you and telling them how we really feel allows us to recognize your suffering, instead of denying it or ignoring it.
So, instead of avoiding our emotions, you’re embracing them.
2. Where did your suffering start from?
Your suffering can come from something that is not instantly clear to you. What caused these emotions to begin? How do you feel? What have you done in response to it?
Taking the time that you need to analyze what has happened to us from different angles and peeling back the layers of your suffering will allow you to discover its origin. Maybe it was caused by childhood trauma or a loss that you have yet to move on from…
3. Start giving yourself words of encouragement
When you’re able to overcome emotional suffering and you start to look back, you realize how poorly you probably treated yourself. Perhaps you thought of phrases such as “you’re worthless,” “everyone is better than you,” “look who’s complaining,” or even “you’re an idiot.”
These phrases don’t help, but during times like these we end up being very critical of ourselves. This, instead of helping us move forward, throws us into a cycle of depression, anguish and greater suffering.
Therefore, it’s important that you take care of yourself and treat yourself with respect.
What do you say to others when they are going through a tough time? You give them words of encouragement, right? Well, that is also what you should do with yourself.
4. Value those around you
When you’re going through a tough time, sometimes you want to be alone and don’t want others around.
However, despite the fact that you’re often so focused on your suffering, it’s important that you’re aware of the people that stay by you.
They may be people who are by your side, whose presence alone makes you feel better, who are there to lend a hand to pick you up when you fall.
You should value these people who, even if they don’t understand what you’re going through, are still there.
5. Go see a psychologist: they will make you feel better
Many people are reluctant to go see a psychologist.
Maybe, deep down, they have some negative belief about what seeing a psychologist means.
A psychologist is a guide that provides us with the necessary tools to overcome suffering. They help us to not feel alone, to feel understood and help us to see the situation from another perspective.
Going to a psychologist allows us to breathe a breath of fresh air, that we can leave this feeling behind and that everything will be okay again. However, this process can take some time.
Emotional suffering doesn’t have to turn into something that affects us so much that it ends up becoming part of who we are. You can get past this suffering, overcome it and move on.
Have you ever tried to overcome emotional suffering on your own? Have any of the mentioned keys help you?It might interest you...
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
Fosha, D., Thoma, N., & Yeung, D. (2019). Transforming emotional suffering into flourishing: Metatherapeutic processing of positive affect as a trans-theoretical vehicle for change. Counselling Psychology Quarterly, 32(3-4), 563-593.
Morse, J. M. (2011). The praxis theory of suffering. Philosophies and theories in advanced nursing practice. Sudbury: Jones & Bartlett, 569-602.