3 Feelings You Need to Avoid to Be Happy
How many times have you felt trapped by paralyzing feelings? There’s an infinite number of feelings that don’t allow you to be happy. Today, we’d like to take a detailed look at three of them.
The reality is that the environment around us has a large impact on our personality. This is something you develop as you grow up.
Your environment also plays a big role in determining your feelings and how you react to them. If you’re aware of this role, however, it’s possible to work to control these negative feelings and become an overall happier person.
Take a look at the 3 emotions can be keeping you from being truly happy. Then, work on controlling them.
If you want to be happy, the first emotion you should avoid is guilt. This is undoubtedly one of the most powerful weapons that others can use against you.
Some people will make you feel guilty when you don’t do what they want you to.
The problem is that this emotion becomes deeply anchored in your mind and body. It could stay there forever.
With time, you can find that you’re doing what others want only because of this guilt. You can drag this guilt with you for many years.
The good news is that you’re not condemned to feel like this. The next time you feel guilty, try to figure out the root of the problem.
Do you really feel bad because you did something that goes against your values? Or, is it because someone said that you were doing something wrong?
Show your love and gratitude towards the people you love. However, know that one of them might try to control you with this emotion. If this happens, make it clear that you won’t allow it anymore.
This doesn’t mean you should go against your values. However, you should do what makes you happy. Remember that the worst error you can make is living the life that others want instead of finding your own happiness.
It’s normal and healthy to feel ashamed when you do something that goes against your values, especially if others consider it bad. It’s also normal to feel ashamed when your decisions or actions put you in an embarrassing situation.
The reality is that shame is an interesting survival mechanism. This happens when it lets you see what stereotypes and paradigms you break.
However, if you always feel ashamed, this is a problem. This happens when you you have a low feeling of self-worth.
Stop for a moment and figure out what’s going on. Is this shame you’re holding on to? Instead of going out with the person you like, do you stay at home because you think you’re not worth it? Where is this feeling coming from?
Perhaps you feel like this because someone made you feel very ashamed in the past. This may make it difficult to face a similar situation again.
What you need to remember is that you are your own guide.
This means that the only time you should feel ashamed is when your decisions are not in line with what you consider to be right.
Learn to recognize when others make you feel ashamed and stop them. It’s not bad to appreciate their opinions. However, don’t lose sight of your own.
Resentment is an emotion that appears when you feel that you’ve done good things but others don’t value them. It can also happen when others don’t do what you expect.
The problem with this feeling is that it alerts you to the fact that you probably expect more from others or are doing too much for them.
That’s why it’s important that you learn to become alert to resentment. This feeling enters your life for a reason.
Yes, we know that you probably hate this emotion. But it won’t disappear overnight.
Find the root of your resentment and find a solution.
Sometimes, it’s only a matter of getting over things and moving on. Other times, you could need much more than this.
In any case, do what you think is necessary. This could be anything from talking with someone until you cry or even punching a pillow.
The best option for fighting resentment is love. Leave your arguments and hatred behind.
You’re the only one who decides if you’re happy or not
You just read about the three emotions that you should avoid to be happier. Now, all that’s left is understanding that the only person who decides how happy or unhappy you are is you.
Don’t allow others to define how you feel or act.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Turan, N., & Cohen, T. R. (2015). Shame and Guilt. In Encyclopedia of Mental Health: Second Edition. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-397045-9.00067-7
- Leith, K. P., & Baumeister, R. F. (1998). Empathy, Shame, Guilt, and Narratives of Interpersonal Conflicts: Guilt-Prone People Are Better at Perspective Taking. Journal of Personality. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-6494.00001
- Menahem, S., & Love, M. (2013). Forgiveness in psychotherapy: The key to healing. Journal of Clinical Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22018
- Fassin, D. (2013). On Resentment and Ressentiment . Current Anthropology. https://doi.org/10.1086/670390