5 Reasons Why People Always Take Advantage of You
If you have the impression that people always take advantage of you, perhaps you should pause and reflect a bit on how you behave in the different contexts of your life.
Sometimes you may quickly realize that someone is trying to get close to you and take some kind of advantage of you, but at other times you may not realize it and only fall for it when the people who love and value you the most tell you about it.
Sometimes, you may feel angry that you didn’t realize that someone was just trying to take advantage of you. While it’s normal to feel this way, don’t beat yourself up about it. Focus on learning the lesson and try to keep it in mind for future occasions. Punishing yourself won’t make up for the time and correct the mistake.
To help you out a little, here are some of the possible reasons why you seem to always get taken advantage of.
1. You’re uncapable of saying “no”
This is one of the key reasons why people always take advantage of you: It’s because you just can’t say “no”. You may say “yes” if a coworker asks you for help in a project, even though you’re swamped with work and probably won’t sleep for days.
If this sounds like you, you need to ask yourself what’s happening inside you or what beliefs are stopping you from saying “no.”
- Perhaps you feel obligated to help because if you don’t others may think you’re a bad person. Are you afraid they’ll get mad if you say “no”? Are you afraid no one will help you if you don’t help them?
- Keep in mind that always saying “yes” can make them come to you for everything and thus burden you with certain responsibilities that don’t belong to you. This means you may need to work overtime and sleep fewer hours… Question your beliefs and start putting yourself first.
2. You look for others’ approval
Another reason why people always take advantage of you is if you always look for others’ approvals and they use this in their favor.
When you look for others’ approval, you try to please others, be liked, want other people to agree with what you say or do…
- People who are adept at taking advantage of others can quickly spot a person who looks for approval.
- In addition, they know that they don’t need to do much because a grimace of displeasure or an “I don’t think it’s right” will already serve to change what they think or how they act just so that others will approve of them.
3. You let people use you
We’ve all had a “friend” who only called us when they needed something. It could be they needed to talk, vent, ask for a favor… However, when you needed them, they were AWOL.
You definitely can’t rely on these kinds of people. You’ll always be there for them, but they’ll never be there for you.
- One of the reasons people take advantage of you is that you don’t set boundaries with the people who act this way.
- Every relationship must have boundaries. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or bad friend.
It simply means you value yourself enough to not allow people to use you.
4. You don’t allow yourself to express how you feel
Another reason why this always happens to you is that you don’t express your feelings.
Therefore, others believe they’re not burdening you with their responsibilities and also that it doesn’t bother you that they only call when they need something.
- It’s important you learn to express your feelings in a proper way. If you feel repressed, used, or manipulated… Say it!
- Others may not be aware of your feelings and saying it may change things.
5. You feel you’re a victim of manipulators
Manipulation or emotional blackmail are resources widely used in our personal relationships. However, there are toxic people who take this to the extreme. Therefore, it’s important to set limits, know how to say “no” and attend to our needs. However, if you feel that you’re being taken advantage of, it’s because somehow you’re not doing anything about it.
When we victimize ourselves, we believe that we can’t do anything, that circumstances are what they are and that we have to live with it. In short, we become stagnant and paralyzed.
If we maintain the idea that we’re victims, we’ll only deepen our discomfort. So, instead of anchoring ourselves in it, the best thing to do is to assume that we have to take responsibility for ourselves and actively look after our well-being.
We have to take responsibility for our lives. If you’re being manipulated and you’re aware of it, you’re allowing it. It’s not a matter of feeling guilty. Think about what you can do to change this.
Are you being taken advantage of? Take action to change that!
Have you ever been taken advantage of and were you been able to resolve it? These are some of the reasons why people take advantage of you. Reflect on them, become aware, and put an end to those situations that take away so much from your well-being.
If you think you need professional help, don’t ignore the problem. A good psychologist can always help you get the tools you need to better manage your thoughts, emotions and situations.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Redorta Lorente, J. (2005). El poder y sus conflictos o Quién puede más? Paidós plural.
- Foucault, M. (1988). El sujeto y el poder. Revista Mexicana de Sociología. https://doi.org/10.2307/3540551