How To Overcome Emotional Pain In A Healthy Way

Time is all you need for your emotional pain to heal. In the meantime, make sure that you don't allow your pain to hurt others.
How To Overcome Emotional Pain In A Healthy Way
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 27 May, 2022

Your emotional pain is a deeply complex matter that needs to heal gradually. You must try to balance your emotions and inner peace to face each day with strength and optimism.

While it’s true that we all go through times of personal difficulties, we should never look for someone to blame. Avoid hurting others or projecting your pain.

Sometimes though, we just can’t help it. There are stages of depression where pessimism gets translated into anger and apathy to the point of blaming others for our problems and disease.

What we need most is support, help, and above all, the understanding that we are our own emotional architects. Face your darkness without hurting other people and take control of your emotions to restore your tranquility and calmness.

We’d like to invite you to reflect on this topic with us today.

Emotional pain – a wall to break down

Maybe you’ve heard something along the lines of, “the only thing that can make a bitter person even more bitter is not being able to spread their bitterness to others.”

We all know what it’s like to have to spend time with someone who can’t stop themselves from wanting to unload their negativity and gloom. But what is obvious is that this person is in pain.

Your pain is as valid as anyone else’s. At some point, we’ve all spread a cloud of darkness around ourselves and those close to us when experiencing personal difficulties.

Emotional pain is really important to think about.

Building walls around your pain

Emotional intelligence is vital in these situations. We all fall down, we all experience disappointment and betrayal. When someone hurts us, what we feel most is anger.

  • This anger slowly channels itself into sadness and emotional exhaustion. People in this anger phase are always looking to blame someone.
  • Everybody faces situations like these. Some people are more adept at managing their pain, while others have a harder time.
  • People put up walls to protect themselves and even use these walls to attack others.


Recognizing emotions to better control them

The art of being bitter is relatively common these days. We stop setting our emotional freedom, objectivity, and taking care of ourselves as priorities.

  • Emotional freedom is the ability to put feelings into words, talk about what’s bothering us and what hurts. By hiding these negative emotions, we’re like a ticking time bomb, just waiting to explode.
  • Objectivity is the ability to let go of hatred, bitterness, and other negative emotions that take us captive and cause further harm.
  • We all know that pain, at times, takes on a concrete form, but in order to be free, we need to forgive and move on.
  • Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. On the contrary, it’s a fine art that fosters a good internal dialogue, allowing us to listen to our needs, identify fears, unhealed wounds, and worries.
  • When we take proper care of ourselves, it strengthens our self-esteem and our inner well-being is projected onto those around us.

Time heals all wounds

Never hold onto your emotional pain or harbor hatred. It’s not worth it because negative emotions don’t heal, they can actually make us sick.

  • Holding onto resentment never does any good for anyone. So when you’re going through a hard time, be extra conscious of the words and gestures you use with those around you. Without realizing it, you could be alienating people.
  • On the other hand, those close to us also need to support us, be intuitive, and empathetic toward our personal realities.
  • We need to be able to accept their help and view them as a source of strength and understanding.


Time heals, but we also need to keep in mind that we won’t forget. The wounds will remain in our memories, but they can be recalled without feeling pain.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.