5 Keys and Tips for Spending More Quality Time as a Couple

Daily obligations make it difficult to spend quality time as a couple. However, doing so is the best guarantee of long-term happiness. Here's how to do it!
5 Keys and Tips for Spending More Quality Time as a Couple
Elena Sanz

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Last update: 27 May, 2022

When we first meet someone we’re excited about, we go to great lengths to find shared moments. However, then we tend to relax, take the relationship for granted, and neglect the bond.However, formalizing a relationship doesn’t mean that we can ignore it and just let it follow its course; on the contrary, we have to cultivate it. Therefore, we’d like to propose some keys to spending more quality time as a couple.

This is a fundamental element for the bond to prosper and for both members to be satisfied. Also, it’s thanks to the shared time that emotional closeness is created, intimacy is enhanced, and two people grow closer together. These moments serve to connect us and to help us to be able to solve problems and disagreements.

It’s possible that the personal obligations of each partner make it difficult to find moments alone in their day-to-day lives. Even if you both live together, the time you share is probably not the quality it should be. However, some tips can help.

1. Decide to spend more quality time as a couple

This is a fundamental first step that we often overlook. Working on the relationship is a daily decision.

If we let ourselves be carried away by inertia, it’s possible that we’ll never find a space in our agendas for that date or that conversation that we’ve been postponing. Therefore, the key is to become aware of the importance and necessity of spending time together.

Once you put your partner and your relationship as a priority and become aware that you have to nurture that love daily, it will be easier to find the time to do it. Don’t wait until routine deteriorates the bond so much that it’s too late.

Momento para compartir en pareja.
The time to share as a couple should be created and sought by both partners.

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2. Establish routines

Routines can become great allies with respect to the previous objective. Thus, if certain plans or activities are integrated into your daily routines, it won’tt be necessary to make an effort to find that shared moment.

Keep in mind that although we may seek to spend time together, quantity is also important. Sharing daily life forges and strengthens bonds, and it’s a very good idea to know how to take advantage of this possibility.

You can, for example, decide to have dinner together every day or have a relaxed chat for a while before going to bed. Even if it’s just a few minutes, you’re dedicating them to each other, and this will make a difference.

In addition, it’s important to go out or plan dates at least once or twice a month. These spaces should be intended to interrupt your routines, disconnect from your obligations, and connect with your partner. Even if you have children, try to fulfill this goal, because it’s very common that parenthood affects and alienates couples.

3. Offer attention and presence

If you want to spend more quality time as a couple, there’s one maxim you should follow: no distractions. When you’re together, turn off the TV, silence your cell phones, and focus all your attention on each other. It’s sad to see so many couples having dinner together and glued to their screens without saying a word to each other.

In these circumstances, time-sharing isn’t very useful, as we need to feel seen and heard by our partner. Even if there’s nothing to say, offering your presence and full attention in that shared moment makes all the difference. A glance, a smile, or a caress are far more valuable than several hours together in total emotional distance.

4. Have quality conversations

Even though they spend all day together, many couples don’t feel that they’ve connected with each other. This is due to the poor quality of the conversations they have.

Talking about the weather, the children, and what to eat the next day is not significant when it comes to creating intimacy. To achieve this, there must be vulnerability, self-disclosure, and depth.

If you want to get closer to your partner, share your dreams and desires and your fears and worries. Share your expectations and opinions. Show yourself as you are – your true self. Do this even if this scares you.

Be willing to know, understand, and embrace each other’s essence. Listen carefully, ask relevant questions, and offer support and validation to their emotions.

It’s this dynamic that reinforces love and allows you to understand, negotiate, and empathize. Therefore, avoid everyday shallow topics and don’t be afraid to go deeper.

Like this article? You may also like to read: 4 Self-Love Habits that Every Woman Should Adopt

5. Choose appropriate activities to spend more quality couple time

Finally, it’s a good idea not to neglect the activities in which you’re going to invest your shared time. Any everyday moment (a dinner, a chat, or simply going shopping together), if experienced with presence, can become a quality space. However, it’s advisable that the plans are diverse and stimulating.

Thus, you can take a short trip or getaway together, sign up for a course or class you’re interested in, go to listen to a music group, or play sports outdoors. Everything should depend on both of your tastes; of course, there must be room for both of your preferences.

When our partner is interested in our hobbies and is encouraged to share them, this makes us feel special, valued, and considered. Likewise, when we do the same for them, we’re showing them how much we care.

By doing fun and pleasurable activities with our partner, we’re associating them with those positive feelings. Therefore, our affinity will increase, and we’ll feel more and more like spending time with them.

quality couple time
Sharing activities that are pleasurable for both of you is a way to strengthen your bond.

There’s always time for quality couple time

In short, spending more quality time as a couple is a decision and a goal that both of you should work for. It won’t always be easy, and sometimes it will be tempting to let yourself be carried away by inertia.

The mistake of thinking that “we’re together and that’s all we need” is common. However, continuing to cultivate passion and intimacy is the best guarantee of long-term satisfaction.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Contreras, A. U., García, M. T. I., & González, R. A. M. (2019). Diseño y validación de la Escala del Tiempo Compartido en la Pareja (TCP). Psychology, Society & Education11(2), 165-175.
  • Domínguez Folgueras, M. (2012). La división del trabajo doméstico en las parejas españolas. Un
    análisis de uso del tiempo. Revista internacional de sociología, 70(1), 153-179. doi:
  • Sánchez, R. (2017). Auto-divulgación: Medición en la pareja mexicana. Revista Iberoamericana de Psicología: Ciencia y Tecnología10(2), 11-24. https://dialnet.unirioja.es/servlet/articulo?codigo=6642553

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.