6 Signs That Your Partner Has Had Sex, But Not With You

There are ways to tell if you're partner has had sex with someone else. It's not a 'sixth' sense, but rather the ability to notice obvious changes in their behavior that are difficult to hide.
6 Signs That Your Partner Has Had Sex, But Not With You

Last update: 30 May, 2022

Are you wondering if your partner has had sex with someone else? Well, there’s no magic formula for finding out, unless you do so in a very obvious situation. However, there are some behaviors that can serve as an indication of infidelity.

It’s true that they don’t apply in all cases, because there may be other reasons that cause them. However, if several of these signs all come together, it could be due to the fact that your partner has had sex with someone else.

Keep in mind that when a person has a lover, both their routines and their mood can change noticeably. So how do you know?

Let’s take a look.

Signs that your partner has had sex, but not with you

As we’ve already pointed out, the signs that we’ll share with you below don’t necessarily mean that there is infidelity. Only a combination of several or more of these signs should arouse your suspicion.

1. Your partner avoids physical contact with you

My partner makes me feel bad, what can I do?

One of the foundations of any healthy relationship is physical contact.

So, if your partner has stopped caressing you, seducing you, and looking for opportunities to have physical contact with you, it may be because something is happening. Often, when a person is unfaithful, he or she adopts an avoidant behavior. This may be either caused by guilt or by the satisfaction of being with someone else.

However, other possible causes may explain it, as well.

In other cases, this dynamic changes because something has broken the trust or there are other problems going on in your relationship. Sometimes, there’s not enough verbal communication to express dissatisfaction and so it is exposed through this behavior.

You might find this interesting: How to Identify Red Flags in a Relationship

2. Their body odor is different when your partner has had sex with someone else

Different studies have indicated that smell has a key role in human relationships. If you’ve been with your partner for a long time, you can probably confirm that she or he has a particular smell that you’re easily able to recognize.

You know what his shampoo scent is or if she’s used a new perfume. So, when your partner’s smell changes suspiciously, you might suspect that she or he has been with someone else.

When infidelity is more obvious, you can identify the smell of a lover’s perfume or cologne. In fact, if it was a recent thing, they may even have that telltale “sex” scent that we all know how to recognize.

3. Your partner is very tired with no explanation

Your partner has had sex
If your partner is always too tired to have sex, this may be a sign that there’s something wrong in the relationship.

Next, a slightly confusing sign that could signal that your partner has had sex with someone else is the feeling of sleepiness. In this case, we say “confusing,” because sometimes this symptom can be a product of their work routine or insomnia. 

An article titled Sex hormones affect neurotransmitters and shape the adult female brain during hormonal transition periods explains that after sex, the body releases neurotransmitters that produce a state of drowsiness that’s almost as pleasurable as the act of sex itself.

Therefore, if your partner is suddenly very tired, it could be because of this. However, it’s important to bear in mind that this symptom shouldn’t be considered evidence by itself.

4. He doesn’t sustain his erection

While some men are able to reciprocate in bed with both a partner and lover, others may begin to have erection problems. If your guy finds himself getting tired every time you try to seduce him, or he goes for it and doesn’t get an erection, there’s something wrong.

According to the Erectile Dysfunction website, erectile dysfunction problems can be related to stress and different diseases such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and atherosclerosis, among others. But, if you know that this is not the reason, maybe your partner is leaving his energy in another bed.

We think you’d like to read: 5 Signs to Identify if It’s Love or Desire

5. Your partner takes irregular showers

A man showering
Your partner may have had sex with someone else if you notice them taking irregular showers.

When you live with someone for a long time, you may recognize their grooming routines. Because of this, you may find it very strange if she or he suddenly takes a shower in the middle of the day or seeks to “relax” in the bathroom whenever they come home from work.

When your partner has had sex with another person, she or he may feel this “compelling” need to wash away any tell-tale signs. That’s why they’ll try to shower as often as necessary, even if they don’t usually take showers at a certain time.

6. Your partner refuses to talk about it or gets angry if you mention something

How does your partner behave when you decide to expose your suspicions?

Perhaps this is the most obvious sign your partner has had sex with someone else. After all, if she or he has nothing to hide, then why should they be angry about you asking?

If your partner has had sex with someone else, she or he will avoid the subject, look for excuses for their absences or, if all else fails, get angry with you “because of your mistrust.”

What to do if your partner has had sex, but not with you?

Any of these behaviors could be synonymous with infidelity. If there’s nothing to hide, she or he will take the time to listen to you and resolve the concerns that you have. In addition, your partner will try to prove to you in every possible way that what she or he says is true.

Do you still suspect that your partner has had sex, but not with you? Have the courage to face the situation and find out the truth. If you identify all these signs of infidelity, something is not right between you.



  • J Nonverbal Behav. 2013 Sep; 37(3): 153–163. Published online 2013 Apr 16. Assessing Personality Using Body Odor: Differences Between Children and Adults. doi: 10.1007/s10919-013-0152-2
  • Front Neurosci. 2015; 9: 37. Published online 2015 Feb 20. Sex hormones affect neurotransmitters and shape the adult female brain during hormonal transition periods. doi: 10.3389/fnins.2015.00037
  • National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. Síntomas y causas de la disfunción eréctil. https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/informacion-de-la-salud/enfermedades-urologicas/disfuncion-erectil/sintomas-causas
  • Salvatierra Maza, P. L. (2018). ALTERACIONES MÁS FRECUENTES DE LOS PARÁMETROS SEMINALES EN MUESTRAS DE PACIENTES; LABORATORIO BIOGÉNESIS, LIMA 2016.