5 Signs that You're Ready to Start a New Relationship

To find out if you are ready for a new relationship, analyze how you feel and how you have processed your past. Here are some clues.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Last update: 25 July, 2022

Venturing into a new romance after a breakup can generate excitement and fear in equal parts. It’s not always easy to determine when the right time has come and we may rush into this decision for various reasons, hurting ourselves and hurting the other person. For this reason, we want to share some signs that you’re ready to start a new relationship.

It’s true that everyone is different and may need a different amount of time to recover and resume their love lives. Even the type of relationship that we’ve experienced and the way in which the breakup has occurred will be decisive factors in this case.

There are those who separated emotionally long before doing so physically, and they will already be part of the way there. Even so, there are certain signs that should be present before thinking about returning to the dating world.

How do you know that you’re ready to start a new relationship?

It’s important to be sure that we’ve fully healed before starting a new relationship. Otherwise, we can generate false illusions and expectations in the new partner and hurt him or her.

In addition, we may even plunge ourselves into a spiral of confusion and forced encounters that only increase our sadness and anguish. So, what should we look out for? Pay attention!

1. You’re ready to start a new relationship when you’ve worked out your grieving process

Although many cling to the popular saying “killing two birds with one stone,” this is not the best way to proceed. It’s essential to work through the grieving process, to allow ourselves to feel the loss and experience the sadness, anger, and other negative emotions that accompany it.

We must integrate this stage of our life and accept that it’s over in order to close the cycle and make way for something new.

The grieving process can take anywhere from a few months to a few years. However, we will know that we have concluded when we no longer feel anguish or despair when we think of our ex-partner or what we’ve lived through.

When sadness no longer invades us and we no longer have the desire to resume the old relationship, we’ll know that we are ready. In fact, this is also true when there’s no more resentment or anger.

2. You’ve matured and learned

Many people come out of a relationship to realize that this new bond they have entered into is very similar to the previous one. Patterns are repeated, similar people are chosen, and the same problems and difficulties are faced. This happens when we don’t take time to reflect on what we’ve experienced, to introspect, and learn from it.

Before starting a new relationship, ask yourself what went wrong in the previous one. This is not about looking for culprits, but to make us aware of the responsibility to be able to build something better from now on.

Maybe you chose your previous partner from a feeling of lack, you gave of yourself in excess and abandoned your individuality. Or on the contrary, you may have been too cold, demanding, or controlling. Even if the breakup was due to infidelity on the other side, valuable lessons can be learned.

Don’t skip this step. The quality of your next bonds will depend on the conclusions you reach.

3. You’re ready to start a new relationship when you accept and enjoy loneliness

Fear of loneliness is one of the main reasons that lead us to start relationships when we’re not yet ready. Therefore, it’s a very good diea to take time to take care of yourself, to practice self-care, and to build a life that pleases and fills us without the need for someone else to come along.

When you feel comfortable in solitude, when you accept and embrace your singleness, and when you’re not afraid that it will last for a long time because you don’t feel incomplete, you’ll know that you’re ready to share your happiness with someone else. Conversely, if you’re afraid of being alone, uncomfortable, empty, or unacceptable, you may cling to anyone without them being right for you.

4. You’ve healed your wounds and your fears

A breakup not only involves getting over the absence of the other person, but dealing with the effect that relationship and its end have had on us. It’s possible that our self-esteem is damaged and that we feel fragile, insufficient, or worthless.

We may have developed certain fears, such as the fear of being cheated on, mistreated, or ignored in subsequent relationships, as happened in this one. We may even have generated some dysfunctional beliefs such as “all people are unfaithful and liars” or “love implies suffering and sacrifice.”

All this emotional backpack will be a burden to be able to start a new healthy and satisfactory relationship. Also, it can lead to self-sabotage.

Therefore, we need to release the weight first. Check in with your predominant thoughts and emotions and you will realize if this is the case for you.

5. You know what you want

Finally, before starting a new relationship, make sure you know what you want. Sometimes, unconsciously, we tend to look for people who are similar to our ex-partner or – on the contrary – diametrically opposed.

In reality, we should take some time to reflect on what our needs and priorities are in a relationship. What are we really looking for and what are we willing to offer? With this in mind, it will be much easier for us to make our bonds thrive.

You should start a new relationship when you’re ready, not when you’re alone

In short, singleness is not the only reason that should motivate us to look for a new partner. On the contrary, it’s important that we go through a process of healing and reflection and that we recover and reconnect before we start sharing with someone else.

Wait until you’re ready. This way, you will avoid uncomfortable and painful moments that may arise if you rush into things.