Healing When Your Relationship is Falling Apart

06 July, 2020
Are you under the impression that your relationship is falling apart? Would you like to put it back together? If so you should know that the first step to try to recover it will be to do a self-assessment.

All couples go through a series of stages throughout their relationship. And while there are couples who always seem to have good rapport in some of them, there are others who seem to be in constant war with disagreements and a lack of harmony overall. How about you? Are you fighting over minor details? Do you feel like your relationship is falling apart?

You can overcome all sorts of obstacles through patience, love, and a good disposition. Below we’ll discuss in detail the eight steps to healing when your relationship is falling apart.

What to do when your relationship is falling apart?

1. Self-introspection

It’s sort of impossible to fix a problem when you’re not aware there is one. Therefore, the first step is to become aware of your current situation and to look for the cause of any disharmony.

In this sense, the best place to find mistakes is within yourself. Consider what your behavior is like together with your responses, your tone of voice, your ways of giving affection, and, above all, analyze your feelings.

Keep in mind that if there’s no will to take your share of the blame for any conflict, little to nothing will change. So, self-introspection is essential. Developing a critical look at yourself will allow you to be more empathetic and assertive with your partner.

Also read: The Brave People Who Pick Up Their Pieces and Rebuild Themselves

2. Dialogue is a must when your relationship is falling apart

Two people talking.

People who don’t speak up can’t solve their problems. Dialogue is essential and the tone of the conversation must be calm. You won’t reach an agreement if you maintain an aggressive attitude, full of accusations and resentment.

You mustn’t hurt each other with words. Think before you say something negative, it’s better not to hurt or make others feel bad. That is, you must never lose respect for each other.

3. Time and distance

The wings of birds who fly too close together can become an obstacle to one another. You must respect the private times and areas of your significant other. Subjecting them to your control or examination isn’t healthy.

Respect the alone time (both yours and your partner’s) and do some separate activities. This space will allow the relationship to breathe and renew your desire to hang out together again, unlike pushing your company on them.

4. Learning to trust when your relationship is falling apart

Trust is one of the fundamental pillars of every successful couple’s relationship. You can’t live together without trust but you can’t demand what you refuse to give.

Learn to trust, to listen, to put yourself in the other’s place if your relationship is falling apart. Don’t open the doors to jealousy and if you have doubts then opt for expressing it calmly and affectionately.

Read also Five Physiological Reactions To a Breakup

5. Renew your sexual desire

Discussions not only distance you from your partner sentimentally but also on a physical level. Neither you nor your partner will feel like touching each other if you’re constantly arguing or getting angry. These factors kill any desire to kiss or become intimate.

Therefore, it’s important to resolve any small confusion before you go to sleep that day. Don’t lengthen the tension, just reach an agreement to stop the avalanche of bad thoughts that anger might be generating.

Having sex is essential to keep the passion going. Any moment can be good to surprise each other and make love.

6. Couples therapy

Two people talking to a therapist.

The vast majority of people try to deny that they need couples therapy. Showing weakness often makes people feel ashamed or afraid of what they’ll say. But this way of thinking is a resounding failure.

Asking for professional help is necessary and can bring many positive things to the relationship. For this reason, don’t hesitate to make the necessary effort and consult a therapist who can help you solve any problems that you and your significant other may have.

7. Restart relationship

Do you remember the last time your relationship was going well? When did it start to fail? You need to go back in time to try to find the factors that made it worse.

It’ll be easier to find a solution and try to recover the affection you had for each other before things started going bad if you try to detect it as a team. Also, you must do it before it’s too late and almost impossible to recover what you felt.

8. You have to want both of them

Finally, and by way of conclusion, there’s an essential requirement to save a relationship that’s falling apart. You must really love each other.

Therefore, be honest with yourself and with your partner. Because, if the relationship isn’t going to work, then it’s preferable to say so clearly, close the door, and be on the lookout for the next opportunity.

  • Perles, F., San Martín, J., Canto, J., & Moreno, P. (2013). Inteligencia emocional, celos, tendencia al abuso y estrategias de resolución de conflicto en la pareja. Escritos de Psicología / Psychological Writings. https://doi.org/10.5231/psy.writ.2011.0605
  • Carlen, A. M., Kasanzew, A., & López Pell, A. F. (2009). Tratamiento cognitivo conductual de los celos en la pareja. Revista Electrónica de Psicología Iztacala.
  • Bolaños, I. (1998). Conflicto familiar y ruptura matrimonial: aspectos psicosociales. In Psicología Jurídica de la familia.