Does Size Matter? The Anatomic Basics of Penetration

In sexual relationships, the size of the penis should be coupled with that of the vagina, so it is convenient to find a partner that suits our needs.
Does Size Matter? The Anatomic Basics of Penetration
Mariel Mendoza

Reviewed and approved by the doctor Mariel Mendoza.

Written by Editorial Team

Last update: 16 November, 2022

We often hear this question: Is size really important? Yes, but not for the reasons you may think.

Before we get into how size matters, it will help to give a basic anatomy lesson.

We can all bleed the same way, but our bodies are not created equally. Genitals are just as varied as the complexion of our skin.

There are no two penises that are the same, nor vaginas. So, this should indicate that there has to be some variation in size so that the parts can fit together.

So, how does size matter?

When it comes to having sexual relations, the genitals should fit like pieces of a puzzle. 

If a man is well endowed, he must find a woman that has a vagina that can accommodate his size.

Yes, vaginas are very elastic and can be molded to adapt to the shape of whatever is placed in them.

However, they also have a limited width, as well as a certain depth before the cervix is hit that leads to the uterus.

If a woman has a short and narrow vagina, being with a man with a long, wide penis may not be the best option.

The sexual performance for this type of poorly matched relationship will not be pleasant for either person. 

Both will leave their sexual experience with their ego a little bruised (not to mention their genital areas).

How does size affect sexual performance?

size-matters

If the genitals are not matched up correctly size-wise, sex can become uncomfortable. In general, those who complain about finding sex pleasurable have had experiences with a partner that did not go well.

This is unfortunate because the lack of education surrounding this leads to people believing that they are just sexually inadequate.

The truth is that everyone has the ability to perform well sexually. However, one should be educated about sexual anatomy and sexual performance to achieve optimal efficiency.

Women with a smaller vagina might believe that they want to be with a man who has a long penis with a good circumference.

However, once the act has started, she may experience rips and bruises in the vaginal opening and walls.

So, size is important when it comes to perfectly matching the size of your partner to have an experience that you will never forget.

Be confident with what you have, because someone, somewhere, was created to fit with you exactly how you are.

Bigger = better?

When it comes to sex, bigger is not always better. However, you almost never hear a man complaining that is penis is too big. It’s usually the opposite.

More and more boys are getting ideas about genital anatomy from porn. So, every day, more and more men are thinking, wrongly, that their penises are too small.

When it comes to sex in the real world, it is best to have a real-sized penis.

  • First, when you consider that the average vagina is only three inches deep, a penis of average size, when erected, can definitely reach your cervix.
  • Even when a woman is excited and her vagina expands approximately one inch, more or less, it is still not deep enough for the average man.

The majority of women agree that circumference is usually more important than length when it comes to enjoying coitus.

We can’t forget that there is a large amount of erectile tissue surrounding the opening of the vagina.

Having a large penis can be a challenge, but whether it is large, average or small, there is a lot you can do so that the experience is more pleasurable for your partner.

Wait until you are ready

Wait-until-you-are-ready

When a woman is excited, her vagina expands and produces natural lubrication in anticipation of sexual relationships.

Kisses, touches, and stimulation (oral or manual) can increase her excitement. So, when it comes time for sex, then she will be ready.

Use lubrication

A lubricant can make sexual relations a lot easier for women. In fact, it is essential when dealing with a large penis.

There are a large variety of lubricants, from thin and slippery to thick.

Choose the correct positions

Choose the correct positions

You have to try different sexual positions to see which ones work best for you and your partner.

However, in general, it is possible that you might want to avoid positions that cause deep penetration and choose those that allow your partner to control the best angle and the amount of thrust and penetration.

Relax

When a woman has a stable partner, her vagina becomes accustomed to him.

This means that the muscles and the skin stretch to adapt to the penis. So, with regular sexual relations, she will be more comfortable.

  • Keep in mind that it is important that she is relaxed, so you should adjust the rhythm if she feels uncomfortable. 

Final thoughts

The small effect of the inferiority of a man’s penis is purely psychological.

However, penis exercises are really useful when performed properly.

For example, there are some that focus on the specific condition of the penis like curvature, the strength of the erection and the prevention of premature ejaculation.

Male enhancement supplements can also be useful for maintaining adequate blood flow to this part of the penis.

This helps them achieve greater erections that last longer.

Remember: sex should bring you pleasure, not pain.


All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.


  •  Barrio Álvarez, Elena del. (2014). Pornografía y educación sexual: ¿libertad de expresión? o ¿prisión de géneros?. Análisis de la pornografía mainstreaming. Libro de Actas del II Congreso Internacional de Comunicación y Género (pp. 108-119). 978-84-9085-030-5. https://idus.us.es/handle/11441/36573
  • Gómez Zapiain, Javier. (2014). Psicología de la sexualidad. Alianza Editorial. 
  • La Rosa, Luciana. (2020). Anodispareunia. Dolor anal durante las relaciones sexuales anorreceptivas en hombres que tienen sexo con hombres / Anodyspareunia. Anal pain during anoreceptive sex in men who have sex with men. Rev. argent. coloproctología ; 31(1): 8-20. tab. https://pesquisa.bvsalud.org/portal/resource/pt/biblio-1102158
  • Lowen, Alexander. (2008). Amor y orgasmo: una guía revolucionaria para la satisfacción sexual. Editorial Kairós.
  • Ochoa, A. (2018). Mas Respuestas Para Vivir Una Sexualidad Inteligente y Segura. Selector.
  • Ochoa, A. (2012). El universo de la sexualidad. Penguin Random House Grupo Editorial México.
  • Sonia BlascoS. Garma. (2007). The Road to Orgasm. Simon and Schuster. 
  • Veale, D. , Eshkevari, E. , Read, J. , Miles, S. , Troglia, A., Phillips, R., Echeverria, LMC, Fiorito, C., Wylie, K. y Muir, G. ( 2014). Creencias sobre el tamaño del pene: validación de una escala para hombres avergonzados por el tamaño de su pene . La Revista de Medicina Sexual , 11 (1), 84-92. https://doi.org/10.1111/jsm.12294

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.