No one can deny that adolescence is a complicated stage in life. Everyone has gone through it with mood swings, anger at family members, or a senseless rebellious phase.
All this can be forgotten, however, when your own children are beginning to cope with this complicated period.
You can’t throw in the towel. It’s important to understand them, to be patient, and learn to put yourself in their shoes.
If you’ve already gone through the same thing, who’s better for the job?
Growing up through adolescence
It’s going to be difficult. It’s complicated. Even when you try to be understanding, your children won’t listen to you. They’ll turn their backs on you, closing off the doors of their hearts.
Although it can seem to have no end, however, you know that it’s just a stage. It’s not a matter of insistence or making it seem like nothing’s going on.
You feel unconditional love for your children and you have to show that to them.
Although they won’t want to communicate with you, you can’t get defensive or reprimand them for everything.
Phrases like “you’re so ungrateful” or “after everything I’ve done for you” serve no purpose but to increase their level of distrust in you.
Even though you might know all this, the road can still be an uphill climb. This is why it’s important that you educate yourself about this stage that you’ve already left behind.
How? Books that talk about adolescence can be a real help. There are plenty of them, and they’re excellent for helping you identify with your children and feel some relief.
Sometimes you might think that you’re a bad parent or you’re doing it wrong. What you may lack, however, is knowledge – which you’ll obtain by reading and learning.
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Things you should always do
There are a series of guidelines that you must always follow, even if you don’t feel like it or find yourselves constantly at odds with each other.
Learn to choose your battles
Sometimes, people fight with their children over things that aren’t a big deal, like wanting to get a tattoo, dye their hair, or get a piercing.
These are superficial issues that you can get too focused on while disregarding the truly dangerous behavior.
Tobacco use, unprotected sex, alcohol, and drugs are issues that you have to be firm with. But as far as how to dress? That’s not the argument to pick.
Pay attention to the warning signsWhen you think that what your child is doing are typical for the teenage years and decide to ignore it, you can also miss some warning signs.
For example, a sudden obsession with food, a dramatic change in the way they dress, anxiety for no apparent reason…
This is not insignificant, but can indicate that your child is suffering from an eating disorder, abuse, or bullying.
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Monitor their use of social networks
The internet has allowed people to access a wide variety of information and to communicate with others.
That doesn’t mean that you have to spy on your child, but you do need to control their use of social networks somewhat.
For example, they shouldn’t be doing their homework with their cellphone in hand, or be surfing the web all day long absentmindedly.
Wasting their time in front of a screen is not beneficial and can harm their future. Also, remember that bullying is something that’s perfectly suited for social networks.
Their self-esteem must be protected, and the internet poses a serious threat to that. Be sure to talk to your kids, set some limits, and make them aware of what can affect them for the better or worse.
Before you go, keep in mind: Parent’s frustration with teens who won’t talk
Remember that adolescence is a stage with a clear end date. So don’t stress or let yourself be carried away by the things that once also affected you.
Your children need you. Be there for them and let them feel your love in a peaceful way, without needless arguments.