Abusers, Victims and Broken Souls

Broken souls can play two very different roles, but the important thing is that we know to recognize them so that we can help them heal.
Abusers, Victims and Broken Souls

Last update: 07 May, 2021

People with broken souls have been that way since their souls were broken at an early age. People with broken souls may have experienced abuse at the hands of their parents, or they may have received a lack of affection or even indifference from their parents.

As the years go by, these children, now adults, start “adult” relationships. However, these relationships don’t live up to what we often read in books or see in romantic movies. What started in their childhood, continued during their adolescence, and the damage remains in adulthood. The big question is, can broken souls ever be mended?

The normalization of abuse: a hard reality

Some broken souls are contemplative.

When abuse arises in a relationship there is an abuser and a victim. Many people who love the victim will try to make them see the truth. However, they won’t open their eyes.

Due to the neglect and abuse suffered in their childhood, broken souls have suffered much aggressive behavior. An insult, a slap, a hurtful word, or humiliation are examples of such behavior. This is because broken souls are not experiencing anything new.

When they begin to realize that nothing is right, then they become scared. They feel confused, fearful, and helpless. They don’t want to continue living like this, but neither do they know how to get out of the situation.

Two sides of the same coin

Although we may find it hard to believe, both the abuser and the victim are two sides of the same coin. Both suffered in their childhood, although their way of showing this suffering is very different:

The attempt to dominate

The abuser exercises the power that they lost during their childhood. They don’t want to be hurt and don’t want to feel weak. Therefore, they harm the one who they love the most. The one who is one of the most vulnerable people they know.

Broken souls have the need to please

The victim, on the other hand, seeks to please the other person by accepting them and showing them affection. They feel that they have to do everything well and not fail. If not, they consider it logical and acceptable to receive punishment for it.

The big problem is that every victim becomes a broken soul. They find someone who will break them, use them, hurt them in the meanest ways, threaten them, and sometimes even kill.

The victim has no resources to defend themselves since they’ve never learned how to do this. What they’ve learned very well is to hide their feelings and to suffer on the inside. Fortunately, this is a cycle that you can get out of with the patience and firmness.

Mending broken souls

We won’t deny that many broken souls will never mend. Everything that happens to us when we’re young affects us in later periods of our life.

However, if you’ve had the right people in your life and have managed to draw strength from where you didn’t know you had any, to question everything you’ve been taught, including the fear that you feel, then there’s hope for you.

Some do manage to get out of that abusive relationship, which has been destructive and painful and that has dug a deep hole in their hearts and souls.

A man sadly sitting on a bench.

Moving on

If you’ve got out of a situation like this, then now is the time to start a new path. Surrounding yourself with people who love you will be an important incentive. You should also seek professional help that can guide you in the right way.

Step by step, calmly and slowly, broken souls pick up the pieces that others have broken, and which they can always piece back together.

It’s clear that there’ll be cracks and deep marks in those who have experienced abuse in their life. It’s difficult to forget these things. Moreover, everything we’ve experienced has made us who we are today. However, the positive thing is that this is our chance to be better, to take something from this experience and to move on even with all those scars that we have, which are the result of healed wounds.

Broken souls can move forward

Don’t make the same mistakes. Change the perception of what you once believed was right and wrong.

There’s a before and a during in every abusive relationship. But don’t forget that there’s also an after, and this is an opportunity to change everything.

It might interest you...
There is Always Hope for the Broken Ones
Step To HealthRead it in Step To Health
There is Always Hope for the Broken Ones

Far from being weak, broken people are strong and have been able to keep moving forward. Though the beautiful part of their life has been in anothe...



  • Arruabarrena, M. I. (2011). Maltrato Psicológico a los Niños, Niñas y Adolescentes en la Familia: Definición y Valoración de su Gravedad. Psychosocial Intervention. https://doi.org/10.5093/in2011v20n1a3
  • Gómez de Terreros, M. (2006). Maltrato psicológico. Cuad Med Forense. https://doi.org/10.4321/S1135-76062006000100008
  • Rey Anacona, C. A. (2009). Maltrato de tipo físico, psicológico, emocional, sexual y económico en el noviazgo: un estudio exploratorio. Acta Colombiana de Psicología.
  • Bueno, A. (1997). El maltrato psicológico/emocional como expresión de violencia hacia la infancia. Alternativas: Cuadernos de Trabajo Social. https://doi.org/10.1093/hmg/9.14.2175