Falling in Love with Someone Who Already Has a Partner

28 December, 2018
If the person you love has cheated on someone else with you, what makes you think they won’t cheat on you, too?

Falling in love with someone who already has a partner is a very delicate situation. You can’t always avoid falling in love with someone, but you do need to be aware of what it means for you if you do.

Love can blindside you in such a way that you make mistakes without even realizing it. Falling in love with someone who has a partner is one of those mistakes. This situation can, and often does, cause a lot of pain.

Today, we’re going to talk about some of the mistakes people make when they find themselves falling for someone who already has a partner. Has this ever happened to you?

Mistakes you make when you’re in love with someone who already has a partner

Waiting for the other relationship to end

This might sound a little heavy handed, but when you love someone who’s already in a relationship, they might say things like, “I’m thinking about leaving my partner,” or “I’m waiting for the right time…”

These statements keep you waiting for the time when you’ll be able to start a real relationship with this person, so you need to be careful and make sure t hey’re being honest or serious with you.

But if they’ve clearly told you they don’t intend to leave their current partner, then it doesn’t make sense to expect otherwise. It’s up to you to decide whether to accept being the “other” person, or to end the relationship.

The first situation is more common. Just keep in mind that if the situation doesn’t change after a few months, you might be waiting in vain.

You might like:

Unrequited Love is like Waiting for a Train at the Airport

Some people have waited years for the person they love to break off their relationship. But after that long, they need to realize that it just might not be true – no matter how much the other person swears it is.

So, it’s important to avoid the trap of waiting for someone to come to you, even when they whisper kind words in your ears.

Trying to be manipulative

Falling in love with someone who already has a partner
Sometimes, when you love someone who’s already taken, you –maybe unconsciously – try to hurt them. How?

Perhaps your love for the person and your desire to break up their relationship are so strong that you start to pester them about their partner. You may say things like, “If they act like that, they don’t love you anymore,” or “they’re using you,” or “Maybe they’re already seeing someone else.” These are examples of manipulation.

You’re not allowing them to make decisions on their own. More to the point, you’re filling their head with things that will cause doubt and even arguments between the two of you.

Read more:

Emotional Manipulation: Recognizing and Avoiding It

All this does is cause harm. You’re not being honest, and you’re not giving the person an opportunity to love you freely.

Believing the person you’ve fallen for will be faithful

Believing the person you’ve fallen for will be faithful
This is one of the mistakes we want to highlight the most. So, imagine that the person you’re in love with breaks off their relationship to be with you. Do you really expect them to be faithful to you down the road?

Maybe they will be, but remember that they were being unfaithful to their partner with you. They have already shown a lack of respect for a relationship.

Are you aware of what kinds of values the person you are with actually has? Do you expect them to act differently with you, just because you’re you?

Be very careful with the expectations you place if you have a partner who was with someone else had at the beginning of your relationship. If they weren’t faithful to that person, why would they be faithful to you?

Loving someone who already has a partner is a delicate situation that can wear you out if you expect a breakup that will never come. It can hurt everyone. It could damage their relationship, and harm you if you start a normal relationship and then they’re unfaithful to you.

What do you think you would do if you fell in love with someone who already has a partner?

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