Falling in Love with Someone Who Already Has a Partner

If the person you love has cheated on someone else with you, what makes you think they won’t cheat on you, too?
Falling in Love with Someone Who Already Has a Partner

Last update: 27 May, 2022

Love is capricious, meaning you can’t choose who you fall in love with. Sometimes, you look at someone, feel complicity between you two, and believe that they have everything you’re looking for. But what happens if this person already has a partner? This is a complicated situation, which means that you must be very careful.

Many times, love blindsides you in such a way that you make mistakes without even realizing it. In this case, you must consider some possibilities, since you can harm others as well as yourself.

Today, you’ll discover some mistakes you can make if you love someone who already has a partner. Has this ever happened to you?

Mistakes you make when you’re in love with someone who already has a partner

Three people in therapy.

Waiting for the other relationship to end

If you love someone who has a partner, they may promise you that they’ll leave the other person to be with you. This makes you wait for that to happen to start a relationship with the person we love.

If this is your case, don’t pressure them. The situation isn’t easy and, in addition, you have to take into account the type of relationship they’re in, and if they’re married, dating, or have children.

In they hide their feelings or tell you straight out that they don’t intend on leaving their current partner, there’s no point in waiting. You should be the one who decides whether to accept being “the other” or ending the relationship.

The first case is the most common. However, you have to understand that, if the situation doesn’t change after a few months, you shouldn’t keep waiting.

Many people spend years waiting for the one they love to end their relationship. However, this may never happen no matter, how much they swear that it will. Therefore, it’s important not to make the mistake of waiting for something that will never happen, even if it’s nice to hear.

Trying to hurt the person you love

Trying to hurt them may unconsciously hurt you. How? Your longing for the person you’re in love with to end their relationship can male you badmouth their current partner.

Phrases like, “That attitude indicates that they don’t love you, they’re just using you” or “Maybe they’re seeing someone else as well”. These are examples of how you can try to make them break up with their partner.

You need to allow them to make the decision on their own. In addition, doing the above will just instill harmful thoughts that will make you doubt and, surely, argue with your partner.

This only makes things worse and causes suffering. You aren’t being honest nor giving your partner the opportunity to act freely. You’re just trying to manipulate the situation in your favor.

Believing that the person you love will be faithful to you

A woman who thinks her partner is cheating on her.

Imagine that the person you love ends their relationship. Do you really expect them to be faithful to you? Maybe that’s the case, but you have to bear in mind that that person was being unfaithful to their partner with you. Therefore, they disrespect them.

Do you know the values of the person you love? Do you expect them to act differently with you? You have to be careful with your expectations. If they were unfaithful to their partner, why wouldn’t they do the same to you?

Loving a person who already has a partner is a delicate situation that can wear you down if you decide to wait for a breakup that will never come. You can also negatively affect the other relationship. Therefore, think carefully before acting. Although the brain is attracted to forbidden things, you must be rational.

How do you think you should act in this situation?

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • McDaniel BT, Drouin M, Cravens JD. Do you have anything to hide? Infidelity-related behaviors on social media sites and marital satisfaction. Comput Human Behav. 2017;
  • Russell VM, Baker LR, McNulty JK. Attachment insecurity and infidelity in marriage: Do studies of dating relationships really inform us about marriage? J Fam Psychol. 2013;
  • Demaris A. Distal and proximal influences on the risk of extramarital sex: A prospective study of longer duration marriages. J Sex Res. 2009;

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.