Mistakes We Make: Falling in Love with Someone Who Already Has a Partner
If the person you love has cheated on someone else with you, what makes you think they won’t cheat on you, too?
Falling in love with someone who already has a partner is a very delicate situation. You can’t always avoid falling in love with someone, but you do need to be aware of what this particular circumstance implies.
Sometimes, love blindsides you in such a way that you make mistakes you didn’t even realize. Falling in love with someone who is already taken is one of those mistakes.
This situation can, and often does, cause a lot of pain.
Today, we’re going to uncover some of the mistakes people make when they find themselves falling for someone who already has a partner.
Has this ever happened to you?
Waiting for the other relationship to end
This might sound a little heavy handed, but when you love someone who’s already in a relationship, they might say things like, “I’m thinking about leaving my partner,” or “I’m waiting for the right time…”
These affirmations will keep you waiting for the time when you’ll be able to start a real relationship with the one you love, but who’s still in their current relationship for now.
If you have been clearly told that your lover doesn’t intend to leave their current partner, however, it doesn’t make sense to expect anything else. It’s up to you to decide whether to accept being the “other” person, or to end the relationship.
The first situation is more common. Be aware that if the situation doesn’t change after a few months, however, all your waiting is probably in vain.
Some people have waited years for the one they love to break off their relationship. Given the amount of time that has passed, however, it’s clear that it’s never going to happen – no matter how much they swear that it will.
For this reason, it’s important to avoid the trap of waiting for someone to come to you, even when they whisper kind words in your ears.
Trying to be manipulativeSometimes, when you love someone who’s already taken, you –maybe unconsciously – try to hurt them.
Perhaps your love for the person and your desire to break up their relationship are so strong that you start to pester them about their partner. You may say things like, “If they act like that, they don’t love you anymore,” or “She’s using you,” or “Maybe she’s already seeing someone else.” These are examples of manipulation.
You’re not allowing them to make decisions on their own. More to the point, you’re filling their head with things that will cause doubt and even arguments between the two of you.
This does nothing but a tremendous amount of harm and damage. You’re not being honest, and you’re not giving the person an opportunity to love you freely.
Believing the person you’ve fallen for will be faithfulThis is one of the mistakes we want to highlight the most, so here goes: imagine that the person you’re in love with breaks off their relationship. Do you really expect them to be faithful to you?
Perhaps they will be, but remember that they were being unfaithful to their partner with you. They have already shown a lack of respect for a relationship.
Are you aware of what kinds of values the person you are with actually has? Do you expect them to act differently with you, just because you’re you?
Be very careful with the expectations you place on this person you love, but who had a partner in the beginning of your relationship.
If they weren’t faithful to that person, why should they be faithful to you?
Loving someone who already has a partner is a delicate situation that can wear you out if you expect a breakup that will never come. It can hurt everyone by damaging a relationship, and it can even make you suffer if you do get together and your partner is unfaithful.
What do you think you would do if you fell in love with someone who already has a partner?