True Love Respects a Significant Other's Past

True love accepts us as we are and doesn't try to make us be who we're not. Neither does it remind us of past mistakes nor judge us. True love makes us feel whole.
True Love Respects a Significant Other's Past

Last update: 27 May, 2022

When we’re faced with true love we know that nothing that happened in the past can affect the present. It’s important to stop if this isn’t the case though, it’ll damage a relationship.

Many couples live in the past. It may be in a time when they weren’t even together, or perhaps they were. However, it can lead to actions that’ll eventually ruin the relationship. Thus, today we’re going to discuss some of them and show you why this isn’t true love.

A woman looking out the window.

You’re not your past, only your present

The one thing to remember in any relationship, it’s that mistakes must remain in the past.
This is because everyone’s made mistakes at some point, and many of us learn from them. Therefore,  there’s no room for something that no longer exists in the present.

Furthermore, one of the most damaging things that can happen when the past is part of a new relationship is to use it as a weapon against the other person.

How many times have you said things like “you forget you’ve done this before” or “you seem to forget you’ve hurt me before” during an argument?

We use what we know about the other person to defend or justify ourselves in an argument. However, it damages the relationship because it’s a low blow.

Do we truly forgive and strive to build a relationship free from all resentment? What are we trying to accomplish when we bring up the past?

Find out What Are the 5 Love Languages?

True love doesn’t criticize who you were

Someone who loves you will never criticize or judge your past. They’re probably trying to manipulate and humiliate you if they’re constantly reminding you of past mistakes.

Many people throw around lines like “it’s for your own good,” “you just have to change,” “you’re headed nowhere.” What they’re really saying is they don’t fully accept their partner.

This is because true love is about full acceptance. Thus, why would anyone want to change who the person they love is? Much less remind them of past mistakes …

Sometimes, being emotionally dependent can keep you from realizing you’re dealing with a skilled manipulator. Some people’s facade hides them so well that falling in love can keep you from seeing who they really are.

We need to answer some questions in order to solve this: “Do you feel ashamed of who you are? Do you want to be the way your partner wants you to be? Do you feel bad about what they say?” It isn’t true love if the answer is yes to any of them.

True love doesn’t hurt

A woman hugging a man while he kisses her.

The only way to find out if your significant other truly loves you is if they make you feel good or bad. By this, we mean: Do they fill you with worries and stress you out? Do they make you feel unhappy and uneasy?
True love requires a certain amount of effort to maintain. However, none of it should be painful.

Thus, it’s important to assess the situation as soon as you feel bad about this relationship. They might be psychologically abusing you and you don’t even realize it. Perhaps they’re manipulating you.

Sometimes, it’s hard to accept that the person you love the most doesn’t accept you as you are, judges your past, criticizes you for it, and tries to change you.

Thus, open your eyes. Don’t ignore the feeling of discomfort and look at the situation objectively to get out of it. This is because true love should fill you with joy and happiness, not pain and discomfort.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Slater, L. (2006). Amor verdadero. National Geographic En Español.
  • Caro García, C., & Monreal Gimeno, M. C. (2017). CREENCIAS DEL AMOR ROMÁNTICO Y VIOLENCIA DE GÉNERO. International Journal of Developmental and Educational Psychology. Revista INFAD de Psicología.
  • Silverman, J. H., & Gasset, J. O. y. (2010). Estudios sobre el amor. Books Abroad.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.