Taking Everything Personally and Always Being Offended

If you live your life always offended, you're doing yourself damage. Learn to be flexible like bamboo and just go with the flow of things to keep from becoming overwhelmed.
Taking Everything Personally and Always Being Offended
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 27 May, 2022

There are some people that just go through life taking everything personally, and getting offended at everything. Instead of allowing themselves to live their lives in harmony with others, they choose to back themselves against a wall almost every time.

Is the world always against them? No. What happens is that in the subtle, yet complex, world of emotions and personality, there are some people that are always taking everything personally.

Instead of seeing these people as problems that should be avoided, we need to understand what’s going on inside them. Their hypersensitivity, low self-esteem and lack of psychological resources create thought patterns that are far too rigid. They can interpret innocent words, actions or gestures as an offense. This is where the essence of the problem lies.

Their low self-esteem sees problems where there aren’t any, and prejudices where they don’t exist. Some personalities see storms when the sun is shining. Let’s take a look at this topic a little closer.

Taking everything personally and getting offended, 24/7

“I can’t even talk to you.” “You’re offended by everything.” “You’re impossible, you go from bad to worse.” If you’ve ever heard any of these types of things before, they probably made you feel awful. However, they may well carry a lot of truth.

If the people around us have problems interacting with us, it’s because something isn’t right. If they’re uncomfortable, or there are frequent problems with miscommunication, it’s important to understand why.

  • Instead of thinking “everyone hates me,” remember the importance of taking a moment to reflect properly on the situation.
  • We need to peel back the layers to know what’s going on inside of us

Below, we’ll discover what is going on in someone who is constantly taking everything personally and feeling offended.

Woman with a cloud over her head

It’s your expectations, not other people, that offend you

Maybe you have high expectations that don’t conform to reality. In a way, we all have an idea of how we think others should act, how they should treat us and how they should react to things.

  • Everyone deserves respect and must demand it. It is a basic human need.
  • What other people do is not your responsibility. Everyone is free to choose what they want and to act as they please, as long as there is some mutual respect.
  • If we are obsessed how our partner, friends, or relatives are acting, then it can only end badly for us.

To be at peace with yourself, keep this in mind: don’t expect anything from anyone; just set expectations for yourself.

You need to be in harmony with the world

Those that live their lives constantly taking everything personally and getting offended can be compared to a tree trunk. To understand this analogy, imagine the following:

  • Imagine that you are a tree next to an ocean. The water comes and goes. Sometimes the wind is gentle, and sometimes it’s intense. Some days the ocean caresses you, and some days it will hammer you with a storm.
  • If you’re a rigid tree, then the oceans, waves, and the elements will eventually make you topple. In this scenario, the strength and rigidity of the tree symbolizes our obstinacy that can be so destructive for us.
  • However, if you’re like the supple bamboo branch, you’ll sway with the wind and even the fiercest storm will never be able to uproot you. It is because you’re adaptable and not rigid that you can take the buffeting.
Bamboo growing

Going through life constantly offended damages ourselves more than others.

  • Those easily offended create distrust
  • If you live your life always offended, your loved ones will stop feeling good around you and will start avoiding you
  • If you take offense when they are only being kind, then you’ll create distance

Love yourself a little more and stop the noise of obsessive thoughts

The world doesn’t hate you. No one is against you. Stop taking everything personally when nothing bad has been meant. Don’t look for things for offense when there isn’t any, nor look for bad intentions when there are none.

  • Those who don’t love themselves become demanding with others. They expect, above all, that others will offer them what they do not offer others: love, respect and appreciation.
  • If we don’t start to work on ourselves on the inside, our darkest depths will keep surfacing until our whole reality becomes a living hell.
Drawing of a woman

It’s just not worth it. So say no to unnecessary suffering and don’t add fuel to a fire. Start healing your wounds and give yourself the love that you need. Only when someone loves themselves enough will the world start to improve for them.


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.