4 Signs Your Partner is Emotionally Cheating on You

January 3, 2019
What do you think of when you hear emotionally unfaithful? Did you know that this type of infidelity has nothing to do with intimate contact?

What do you think of when you hear the word infidelity? The majority of people associate this concept with having sex with another person. However, your partner is emotionally unfaithful when he has feelings for another person.

Emotional infidelity is a difficult concept to define since it is subjective. In this sense, the perceptions that we have about how one should behave have a lot of influence. 

This type of infidelity is no less important than the others. In other words, emotional infidelity can also be a serious problem in a relationship. Although the unfaithful one usually convinces their partner by using the fact that they have no intimate contact with others.

Why is emotional infidelity so serious?

The emotional world is extremely important for human beings. Understanding the experiences, emotions, feelings, sensations and ideas that we have at every moment, how we experience things and the way in which we choose to deal with them.

When your partner doesn’t share his emotions with you, there is obviously a problem or something is missing. It could be that there is a communicational barrier or something else. It could be because of a lack of trust, or bad chemistry.

As time passes, if you don’t pay attention the emotional infidelity, the other aspects of the relationship will also be affected. The risk comes when you stop trusting your partner because he is unfaithful and your self esteem is damaged. That is why it is important to evaluate the bond that we have with our partner and improve it if necessary.

Signals that your partner is emotionally unfaithful

1. Little or no communication

The first sign that your partner is emotionally unfaithful is that there is a change in communication. If before it was pleasant and constant and now you barely speak, or only argue, figure out if there is a reason. 

In this sense, you should pay attention to everything that happens with your partner. The majority think that their partner will automatically stop talking to them when there is someone else in the picture. But that’s not true.

What normally happens is that it is gradual since it is a process of falling in love. What happens is that when the deceived one realizes, the situation has already been going on for a while and now it is just obvious. It is important that you take a moment and ask yourself: are you spending less and less time together? Has your partner stopped telling you important things that they always used to tell you?

To reduce the problems in this sense, first try to talk about intimate things. Sometimes the lack of communication starts with ourselves and we only notice it when we want to talk and we don’t have an affirmative response. Discard the possibility that your partner is giving you time and space because they don’t want to make things worse or increase your stress levels.

2. Your sex life has drastically improved or is inexistent

When it comes to sex, two things can happen when your partner is emotionally unfaithful:

  • Your partner tries to maintain the relationship with you, but this includes some changes and you don’t know where they came from.
  • The second possibility is that your partner doesn’t see a future with you. If this is the case, your partner could have already passed the emotional relationship to the physical, or is in the process. That is why it is common that they are no longer interested in being with you and they avoid physical contact.

Before putting up your defenses, talk with your partner. Avoid accusing them of being emotionally unfaithful if you don’t have proof. Remember that there are physical and emotional problems that can decrease one’s sexual desire and you could end up having an unnecessary discussion.

3. They have changed their attitude towards you

Another sign that your partner is emotionally unfaithful is that their attitude towards you is different. When a person has a new relationship, they will unconsciously keep their distance.

In the best cases, they will distance themselves to keep from communicating. In the worst, you will spend hours arguing and calling your partner out for everything.

Before thinking it is just a small problem, figure out if these changes are occurring with everyone else in your partner’s life, or just with you. Whatever the case may be, it is important that you talk with your partner. 

4. You have lost access to their social networks or they are asking for more space

It is normal in a stable relationship to want to spend time together and to talk in order to understand the other’s point of view and to enjoy the exchange of ideas in general. Whether this be in person or through social media. 

Partners that are emotionally unfaithful usually limit their conversations and reduce the themes in common. While it is normal that every one has his own activities and that he decides not to share everything, what isn’t normal is that those things that used to be shared with you, are now a secret.

  • Buss, David. (2018). Sexual and Emotional Infidelity: Evolved Gender Differences in Jealousy Prove Robust and Replicable. Perspectives on Psychological Science. 13. 155-160. 10.1177/1745691617698225.
  • Shackelford, Todd & J. LeBlanc, Gregory & Drass, Elizabeth. (2000). Emotional Reaction to Infidelity. Cognition & Emotion – Cognition Emotion. 14. 643-659. 10.1080/02699930050117657.