Sexual Fantasies: Everything You Want to Know and More

Sexual fantasies are natural and can be beneficial for individuals and couples. We'll take a look at what they consist of and their benefits.
Sexual Fantasies: Everything You Want to Know and More
Elena Sanz

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Last update: 29 July, 2022

There are still many myths and taboos surrounding sexuality that prevent us from experiencing it fully. Specifically, if we talk about sexual fantasies, we may think that they’re inappropriate and that having a sexual fantasy constitutes some kind of disorder or that it even implies infidelity if we’re in a relationship. Far from these beliefs, sexual fantasy can help us to awaken desire and fuel passion.

All people have sexual fantasies at some point in time, and these usually accompany us since puberty. They’re created and fed based on personal tastes, the culture that surrounds us, and the experiences we have.

Thus, there are infinite different possibilities that range from small mental flashes to long narratives and that can be more linked to love, sensuality, or explicit sexuality.

In any case, sexual fantasies are both natural and beneficial. They should not embarrass us and, on the contrary, we can take advantage of them if we know how to do it. Let’s learn more about them below!

What are sexual fantasies?

Sexual fantasies
A sexual fantasy is an imaginary representation that isn’t subject to any censorship.

A sexual fantasy is any imaginary act that recreates erotic scenarios that arouse arousal in a person. Thus, by letting our imaginations fly, we visualize realities in which we experience stimulating situations. In such fantasies, there’s no filter and there’s no moral or political correctness barrier: they’re intimate and personal mental contents to which we do not apply censorship.

It’s worth mentioning that not all sexual fantasies are meant to be acted upon. We often fantasize about scenarios that are impossible to recreate in reality or that we simply do not wish to experience. Only some of them pass the fantasy barrier to become a desire that we would like to see materialized.

The most common types of sexual fantasies

As we’ve said, there can be as many sexual fantasies as people in the world, since each one adds specific components and ingredients to his or her fictional story. However, there are some themes that recur more frequently:

  • Recalling past sexual experiences, either with one’s current partner or with one’s previous sexual partners.
  • Imagining having sex with someone other than the partner – either an acquaintance or a celebrity.
  • Having sex in public in forbidden or unusual places.
  • Seeing or being seen having sex.
  • Participating in threesomes or partner swapping.
  • Fantasies related to domination and submission relationships, with or without a sadomasochistic component.

We think you may be interested in reading this, too: 5 Advantages and Disadvantages of Casual Sex: Should You Do It?

What else should you know about sexual fantasies?

In addition to the above, there are some points that should be clear when talking about sexual fantasies with the aim of breaking some deep-rooted myths. Among them, the following stand out.

Sexual fantasies are neither dangerous nor forbidden

Having sexual fantasies is totally natural, even when you’re in a committed relationship. They’re not a perversion, nor are they a sign of any disease or sex addiction. Both men and women fantasize, and this is healthy.

However, when these fantasies become the only way to achieve arousal or when they generate obsessions or compulsions or interfere with the person’s life, they can be a problem. In these cases, it’s advisable to seek professional help to learn how to redirect them.

Like this article? You may also like to read: 6 Signs That Your Partner Has Had Sex, But Not With You

They stimulate sexual desire and amplify your enjoyment

Fantasizing about stimulating scenarios helps to awaken sexual desire, both alone and as a couple. Fantasies help us to discover our tastes and preferences, to get out of routine and to freely experience our sexuality. This will increase our libido and will have a positive impact on subsequent sexual encounters.

Sexual fantasies
Having a sexual fantasy is normal and does not imply infidelity.

They may or may not be shared

Generally, our sexual fantasies embody thoe aspects that we tend to repress because we’re ashamed or because we consider them unacceptable or unethical. Thus, many people prefer to keep the content of such mental scenarios private, and this is totally legitimate.

We don’t have to share our fantasies with our partner; however, doing so can serve to rekindle the passion and try new practices that may increase mutual enjoyment. Of course, before sharing them, the key is to make sure that this won’t cause any problems, confusion, or insecurity in our partners.

Sexual fansies help us to release our inhibitions

Finally, sexual fantasies can act as a mental rehearsal to help us feel more uninhibited in subsequent sexual encounters. In the safe environment of the imagination, we can unleash our sensual side, engage in sexual practices we may not yet dare to engage in, or explore new ideas. In this way, by putting them into practice later we can feel more secure, confident and comfortable in our bodies.

Stimulate your sexual fantasies

Now that you understand what these fantasies are and all the good things they can bring you, don’t hesitate to enhance them and enjoy them as you please. Draw on your memories, your imagination, erotic novels or any other element that nourishes your imagination with stimulating scenes. Get rid of taboos, self-criticism and repression and allow yourself to explore that inner world that has so much to offer you.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Davidson Sr, J. K., & Hoffman, L. E. (1986). Sexual fantasies and sexual satisfaction: An empirical analysis of erotic thought. Journal of Sex Research22(2), 184-205.
  • Zurbriggen, E. L., & Yost, M. R. (2004). Power, desire, and pleasure in sexual fantasies. Journal of Sex Research41(3), 288-300.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.