It’s Not Lack of Time, It’s a Lack of Interest
Instead of pretending like you’re interested, try to show what you really feel. Stop lying to other people and, most of all, yourself. It's not that you don't have time; you're just not interested, and that's OK.
Do you often excuse yourself from things by saying you don’t have time? In reality, you can always make time for the things you want to do. However, sometimes people use the excuse of lack of time to avoid doing things that they’re just not interested in. So honestly speaking, what is stopping you it’s just a lack of interest.
You might have been invited to a dinner with friends, for example, but you don’t feel like going. Maybe you’re tired or there are other things that you’d rather do instead.
Perhaps you say something like, “Oh, I’m so sorry – I can’t go. I don’t have time.”
Your friends might think that’s the truth. However, when this response becomes a regular excuse, they’ll recognize that something is going on.
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Admit it, it’s a lack of interest
Pretending that you’re interested in someone or something and then making an excuse for not going or doing something projects an image about you that doesn’t correspond with who you are.
You want to look good for other people. This is how you were raised – not saying “no,” not backing out of something that other people consider high priorities or the right thing to do.
However, there may be a conflict between what you want and what society says is a good thing. If you don’t want to spend time with your friends because you just don’t feel like it, say so! But don’t go making excuses. If they’re true friends, they’ll understand.
The worst thing about this excuse is not that you know how to fake it, but you that you begin to believe this lie and it becomes part of who you are.
This is something that takes practice, however. After all, since you were a child you’ve been taught to meet the needs of others instead of your own.
You can say “no” without feeling bad
You haven’t been taught to say what you want, to express what you need, or to say “no” if it isn’t good for you.
You’ve been taught to say “yes” to everything and then make excuses when it doesn’t correspond with your needs. You’re trying to keep up appearances while lying to yourself and others.
Saying “no” may make you feel bad. After all, you’re not just turning something down, but also are afraid of how people will react.
This denial of what you want makes you create an unrealistic world. First, you don’t openly admit your own needs and desires to others. Then, you begin to believe that whatever you ask for, the answer will always be yes. Remember: just because you make sacrifices doesn’t mean others will do the same for you.
This causes a lot of problems if you said yes to someone and then backed out. Has this happened before?
If so, your friends will realize that once is okay, twice might be as well, but when it becomes constant, it’s a sign of a lack of interest.
This might make you feel bad. However, this is your sign that it’s time for a change. Being aware of this behavior will help you start to act differently and not excuse your low interest in something with a lack of time.
You’ll begin to recognize what you truly want and feel.
Start being yourself
Start by expressing your lack of interest in a social encounter, a person, or any other scenario whenever you feel like it.
You don’t need to make excuses anymore. You don’t need to worry that you’ve used the same excuse before – otherwise, they might find you out!
Your lack of time was a good scapegoat, but isn’t it time to be sincere? Remember, you might always be asking others to be honest with you while doing the opposite.
Say “no” if you feel like it and refuse to do something you don’t want to. Above all, be honest with the people who are interested in spending time with you so you don’t hurt their feelings.
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No one needs to know that it’s your lack of interest. Nor do you need to lie to yourself by saying you don’t have the time.
It’s better that you start being who you are, without fear.