Sociability and the continuous, deep desire to meet people to enjoy connection is something that has always lived in the heart of human existence.
Aristotle already spoke of it in his time. Later on, the Austrians Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs were the first doctors to deal with the issue of sociability in a vigorous theoretical and empirical way.
Plus, we can’t leave out Abraham Maslow’s classic pyramid of human needs.
Without a doubt, seeking acceptance, affection, friendship, love and belonging defines what both shapes us as humans and guarantees our survival.
That said, if there is one thing that we all know, it’s that it is not easy to meet people who connect with our being, our values, our identity, hobbies and passions.
It’s also important to remember that for a great friendship or a healthy relationship, it’s not necessary to coincide 100% in all aspects of our personality.
There’s something more intangible, something that we cannot define or explain that cultivates those truly magical bonds that last over time.
From time to time, and almost without even knowing how, we simply “connect” with someone. We’ve all experienced this at some point: meeting the perfect person at the right time, just when you need them most.
If this has ever happened to you, we invite you to go deeper into the subject to understand what’s behind this marvelous phenomenon.
Meeting the perfect person: the power of connection
Louise Hawkley is a scientist at the University of Chicago (in the United States) and is a specialist in researching psycho-social phenomena.
According to her, the majority of these special bonds, stable friendships ans strong relationships that we don’t know how to define are characterized by sharing aspects that build what we often call “connectivity:”
- Intimate connectivity is the first of these, and refers to the most private aspect of the self.
- When we meet someone we almost immediately feel whether this person harmonizes or connects with our being, whether we feel understood, and whether there is chemistry.
- It’s like a natural instinct that is strongly related to our intuition.
- The second aspect is defined as relational connectivity and refers to the frequency with which we come into contact with the person.
- Often, when we meet someone, we don’t feel a particular need or interest in them.
- However, when there is true connectivity, the daily complicity of “Good morning, how are you?”, “I’ve been thinking about…” or “Let’s do something together” strengthens the relationship.
- Lastly, there is collective connectivity which refers to how comfortably the person integrates with our closest personal nucleus (family, friends…).
The power of intuition: the sixth sense that guides us to the right people
Finding a special person or people isn’t easy.
The majority of us have suffered from disappointment. After all, we’ve all placed our hopes and dreams in people who at some point have failed us or simply weren’t what we thought.
Similarly, we ourselves will all have disappointed someone. We may even have decided to distance ourselves from somebody at some point for a given reason.
All these dynamics are normal in our life cycle. They’re a part of this timeline during which we acquire experiences and wisdom, the magical substrate that makes our sixth sense ever sharper and more awake.
However, something that we must never forget or undervalue is the power of our intuition.
After all, it’s our intuition that almost always accurately reads who is in our interest to connect with and who isn’t.
How does our intuition work when we meet someone?
Our intuition is not a supernatural, magical or extrasensorial power.
- In reality, it’s our brain’s ability to give us fast opinions or information based on what it finds in our subconscious.
- This exceptional, intimate storehouse in reality hides the essence of our whole being: past experiences, our emotions, our identity, hidden desires, needs, values, memories…
- What the intuition does is travel quickly into this storehouse. It dives into the spectacular garden of our subconscious to consult with it. It quickly searches to find an answer or explanation.
When we meet someone, our subconscious makes a fast assessment based on who we are and what defines us. Then, it quickly sends us a sensation – a strange prod or tickle – that appears in our mind and constitutes our intuition or a “hunch.”
This is what tells whether to trust someone or not, whether it’s worth seeing them again or giving them our phone number…etc.
In conclusion, it is always a good idea to listen to your inner voice and value it.
Magical connections with others happen every day. However, remember: you must be receptive, go with the flow and pay attention to what’s around you in order to find them.
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