It's Important to Show Love, Not Just Feel It

It's vital to show love in a relationship, but also to receive it, it's a reciprocal matter
It's Important to Show Love, Not Just Feel It
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 27 May, 2022

It’s important to show others the love that we want for ourselves. If you value someone, you need to do everything possible to show them that, and to make them happy. I’m sure that at this point in your life, you know pretty well that to feel love for someone isn’t the same as to show love to them.

Some people simply don’t know how to show love. Even though they feel affection and love, they are incapable of showing love. Or even worse still, they show it wrongly.

Feeling like your feelings are not reciprocated in everyday life, even though the feelings are there, creates a deep sense of emptiness and discomfort.

And, believe it or not, the main problem behind couples drifting apart is not because of a lack of love. But rather it’s because, for one of them, patience ran out. Has this ever happened to you? Today we’re going to take a look at this in more detail.

People that love you should show it

They don’t need to give you the world or act like a hero. Neither do they need to tell you every minute of every day just how much they love you.  The interesting thing about these types of relationships is that people can love you, without actually expressing it. And, on the other end of the scale, they can express just how much they love you, without truly loving you.

  • The key is sincerity, and most of all, that you perceive them as wholesome and authentic.
  • Receiving and expressing love makes up part of our emotional health. This also has its own implications in physical health.
  • You cannot force anyone to show you “just how much” they love you. People need to be spontaneous and allow the small things to “pop up”. The magic lies in the unplanned – things that simply happen. Feeling authentic reciprocity not only nourishes, but it brings peace as well.

Different ways to show love

Love, affection and caring can all be shown in several different ways. All of these ways need to be meaningful to you, and useful. Some people make the mistake of thinking that the way they love is the only way to love. They don’t make an effort to understand what the other person needs.

Girl with a jar of hearts learning to show love

Some people don’t feel right hugging, or caressing, or even saying loving words. They show love by coming over to sleep, giving gifts, or simply being present. But “being present” isn’t enough. Sometimes the worst type of loneliness is felt with someone right next to you. Someone who loves you, but is incapable of showing it.

We all have a need for love, understanding, intimacy and passion. These are the basis of a healthy, stable and happy relationship. If understanding doesn’t exist, nor daily expressions of affection, then the relationship will grow cold.

Show love: emotional expression

People that want something generally create a series of strategies to reach their objective.  So what happens the moment they achieve these objectives they dreamed of? That is the real question. Once you reach a valuable moment, you must nurture it.

Not everyone knows how to value and nurture these things. Neither do they know how to create space for personal growth, or growth within the relationship.

Clearly no one knows all there is to know about human relations. However, when it comes to love you need to know what the other person needs in order it to them.

  • If you want them to value you, you need to start valuing others.
  • If you want to be recognized by people you love, you need to first recognize yourself.
  • And if you want to be loved, show love to the people around you.

It all becomes rather complex when we realize that a lot of people don’t even truly know who they are. Immature individuals who haven’t undergone the appropriate emotional maturity, or those who haven’t clearly defined their values or needs, tend to project their own unrecognized faults on others.

And this is where the problems set in. So let’s take a look at just how the people who love you should show love to you. We’ll also look at what couples deserve in order to maintain a stable and happy commitment.

Girl on a starry night


Your partner should be the person that is not only your accomplice, friend and lover, but they should also admire and respect you. And this should be obvious in the way they treat you. We admire our partner because they are capable of enriching our lives, and that’s why we have chosen them.

Sincere affection is shown in the small details

People that love you should show you that every day in the simplest of ways. And you should also focus on the small things that make up life, for these are truly important.

Not only do you need to be physically present, but you also need to show that you are there. You can do this with caresses, the right words, sincere looks of acceptance and hugs.

It’s not that hard. You don’t lose anything by showing affection. Quite the contrary. All the love that you show makes you bigger, fuller, and more connected with yourself and the world around you. Putting it into practice is worth it.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Langeslag, S. J. E., & van Strien, J. W. (2016). Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings: Preconceptions, Strategies, and Feasibility. PLOS ONE, 11(8), e0161087.
  • Oravecz, Z., Muth, C., & Vandekerckhove, J. (2016). Do People Agree on What Makes One Feel Loved? A Cognitive Psychometric Approach to the Consensus on Felt Love. PLOS ONE, 11(4), e0152803.
  • Surti, K., & Langeslag, S. J. E. (2019). Perceived ability to regulate love. PLOS ONE, 14(5), e0216523.
  • Wagner, U., Galli, L., Schott, B. H., Wold, A., van der Schalk, J., Manstead, A. S. R., Scherer, K., & Walter, H. (2014). Beautiful friendship: Social sharing of emotions improves subjective feelings and activates the neural reward circuitry. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 10(6), 801–808.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.