Five Important Questions that You Must Ask Yourself Before Ending a Relationship
Ending a relationship is a big and very important decision.
It’s therefore essential that we use this situation as an opportunity. This is an opportunity to ask ourselves some big and important questions. Namely, these five important questions.
These are questions that will make us open our eyes and reflect. We should reflect on if this decision to break up is a good one, or if we’re taking the wrong path.
Also, all of these questions will help us to learn from this relationship. If we do decide to end it, we will be able to establish healthier and stronger bonds in the future.
Also check out: 5 things that I learned from an unexpected break up
1. Are you looking for the “perfect person” in your partner?
It’s important to understand this, because we all have high expectations. Sometimes, these unreal expectations can distort reality or damage a healthy relationship.
On occasion, we don’t take into account that the other person is human. We may think they’re like a prototype, or that this relationship experience just won’t go well.
As in any relationship, not all of our expectations can be met perfectly. We may begin to feel frustrated, and this causes us to feel disappointed. We also begin to have the tendency to judge or blame the other person.
It is essential that we ask ourselves if we’re beginning to consider ending our relationship because our partner can’t meet these impossible expectations.
If this is the case, we must learn to remove this blindfold caused by our unreal idealizations of a relationship. We have to remember that others are human.
2. Is my relationship unhealthy?
The question of ending a relationship could be caused due to a feeling of unhappiness that only increases with time. If this is the case, it is important to reflect upon the health of the relationship. We must determine if it has become unhealthy for us.
To successfully complete this retrospection, we need space, and most of all, time.
The feelings, emotions, and pain can cause us to see things without clarity and lead us to make irrational decisions. We can come to realize that maybe we haven’t picked up on signs of abuse, manipulation, lies, or mistreatment that have damaged us.
If we’re currently in an unhealthy relationship, we need to end it as soon as possible. As the name properly demonstrates, the relationship is harming two people that are not enjoying the relationship nor the love within.
Learn more about: What are the Signs of Dissatisfaction in a Relationship?
3. Is my situation too stressful to make a decision?
Although it may seem trivial, times of excessive work and stress can also cause problems. It can make us less understanding, tolerant of others, and cause us to make poor decisions.
When we find ourselves in a situation with a lot of stress and anxiety, we can quickly find ourselves overstepping established boundaries and even losing the correct perspective of everything around us.
Due to this, it’s necessary that we take these factors into account when making any big decision. Especially with a serious relationship, we could be feeling this way due to stress and just life overload.
4. Are third parties affecting my relationship?
The influence over us and our relationship that others have is astounding. It can be more than we realize. When we understand that concept, we should definitely ask ourselves this question.
For example, the refusal of a parent to accept a child’s relationship can result in conflict and tension between a couple that affects the health of their relationship.
When a friend or family member rejects or disapproves of our significant other, we may feel insulted and hurt.
The worst is that all of this is that in an unconscious manner, we will project this pain into our relationship or onto our partner. We let all of our frustrations fall over this person, and everything else in general.
5. Do I trust in my decision, or do I have doubts?
We’ve been taught to pay special attention the opinions of others regarding personal aspects of our lives. However, these aspects are things that only we should be the critics of.
Maybe a friend says to you that a relationship isn’t good for you or that they don’t like your partner. A member of your family may, on the other hand, say that you’ll be missing out. They’ll ask how you can ever consider letting this opportunity slip through your fingers…
All of these opinions and more can have a great effect on you in the moment of making your decision.
Therefore, it’s imperative that you clearly understand and envision what YOU want. Don’t let the opinions of others provoke a different outcome. Look inside, and find the answer that only you truly can.
Before you pull the plug on a relationship, ask yourself these very important five questions. You will discover things about yourself that perhaps you didn’t know. You will gain knowledge from the journey in front of you and you will trust the decision that you make, because you’ll know it’s the correct one.
Illustrations courtesy of Paula Bonet
Before you go, don’t forget to check out: Comatose Relationships Will Destroy You
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Whisman, M. A., & Beach, S. R. H. (2012). Couple Therapy for Depression. Journal of Clinical Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.21857
- Lebow, J. L., Chambers, A. L., Christensen, A., & Johnson, S. M. (2012). Research on the Treatment of Couple Distress. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2011.00249.x
- Halford, W. K., & Sweeper, S. (2013). Trajectories of adjustment to couple relationship separation. Family Process. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12006
- Atkins, D. C., Dimidjian, S., Bedics, J. D., & Christensen, A. (2009). Couple Discord and Depression in Couples During Couple Therapy and in Depressed Individuals During Depression Treatment. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017119