How to identify emotionally immature people

22 November, 2020
Although they might often ask for help with any problem, emotionally immature people will end up ignoring your advice, since they're not interested in learning, they just care about the solution.

Emotional immaturity has no expiration date. You can find emotionally immature people at any time and in all ages. Generally, we might think that they won’t affect us, but it’s really not like that.

Emotional immaturity is present in an emotional adult who behaves childishly by not taking responsibility for his/her actions. The problem is dealing with the kind of people that will become an emotional and economic burden for others.

Do you think you might be dealing with one or more emotionally immature people? Look closely at his/her traits and if so, try avoiding getting yourself involved with more drama.

1. They’re dependent

Emotionally immature people lack independence. It is common for these people to still depend on their loved ones in order to fulfill their obligations even when they’re adults.

  • It’s understood that an adult might have to look after his/her parents or partner, but a mature person should not be a burden to others.
  • You’ll know if you’re living with a person like this because they’re always blaming someone else for the situation. They’re incapable of taking responsibility for what happens in their lives.

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2. They don’t know how to manage their finances

The simple act of going to work doesn’t result in emotional maturity in all cases. However, the interest in having your own income and learning how to use that income is an important aspect in personal development.

  • Those that spend without thinking about tomorrow, who don’t have priorities and wait for magic solutions to appear and fix their money problems are emotionally immature.
  • The more serious problem is walking a financial tightrope.

3. They’re not very empathetic

Girl comforting another girl

People who are emotionally immature are incapable of putting themselves in someone else’s situation and understand them. This means they have problems understanding that other people also have their own issues and require support.

  • If there is someone like this close to you, it’s possible that you’ve noticed they disappear whenever you need help.
  • Although they reappear and beg for your help when they need something from you.

These situations are bound to annoy you and drain your energy. However, it’s best to not try getting annoyed all the time, since it won’t change their attitude. The best thing to do is to give him/her a helping hand whenever you feel like it.

Also read:

Teach Your Children How to Control Their Emotions

4. Their priorities are not very healthy

Emotionally immature people tend to put fun, going out, drinking, or anything else they enjoy before family, work, or their responsibilities.

  • The problem with this mess is when it affects you physical health and your relationships too.

5. They tend to have superiority issues with people.

Angry woman

Emotionally immature people tend to have problems trusting themselves. In order to get the security they lack, they tend to find any way to make other people feel worse or inferior.

  • Often, the worse the other person feels, the better the immature person feels.
  • They may use intimidation, name-calling, or any other behavior to bring about this effect.

6. They’re afraid of commitment

This fear is not just related to relationships. It also means they run away from any life situation in which they have to take control, such as living alone or looking for a job.

It’s important to emphasize that it’s not only emotionally immature people who are afraid of commitment: all of us have some fear of making big changes in our lives.

  • The radical difference is that people who are emotionally mature take the plunge because they know it’s important to achieve their own goals.
  • Those who haven’t matured emotionally don’t understand the importance in making these decisions.

7. They don’t know how to express emotions

Emotionally immature woman unable to communicate

They overreact when dealing with the emotions we experience daily. Their sadness is the most extreme, as well as their happiness and anger.

They don’t know how to control their tone of voice when facing these situations and limit themselves to live the experience without learning from it.

  • They’re dramatic and they subconsciously love being the center of attention.
  • When angry they can be very rude and aggressive.

This combination of emotions can drain the energy of everyone around.

8. They refuse to listen to other people’s opinions

Although, emotionally immature people always look for other people to solve their problems, they always ignore their opinions. This is due to their lack of empathy.

If you live with someone like this, it’s important to understand that it will do no good to force them to see their own mistakes. They won’t see them because they’re simply not interested.

What to do with emotionally immature people?

The reality is that there are not many things you can do to change people. Therefore, the best thing to do is to let them make their own mistakes until they grow up. An alternative is to always solve their problems whenever they ask you to, but that will only give you a lot of undeserving trouble.

Mr. Rice’s Notebook. Chapter 5. Emotional maturity

John Mano Raj. A study on relationship between emotional maturity, stress and self-confience among management students. (2017)

Franz Alexander. A Hogg Foundation Reprint. Emotional Maturity