How to Get Away From Your Ex, According to Walter Riso
Today, we’d like to give you five tips to get away from your ex. After all, when we spend a lot of time with a person, we create a special bond. This emotional bond can become so strong that we can’t detach ourselves even when a relationship is over.
The fear of pain sometimes prevents you from moving on and choosing a new path. For this reason, it’s important that you know how to get away from your ex after a break-up.
How to Get Away from Your Ex, According to Walter Riso
Currently, many relationships are quite ephemeral.
Nevertheless, psychologist and best-selling author Walter Riso says that there are a lot of people who have difficulties facing the end of a love affair and may remain trapped for years in “what-could’ve-been” land.
Breaking up is never easy. If anything, you agree to separate with courtesy and remain cordial to each other. However, there’s always the possibility of having to face the blow of a significant loss.
Who’s Walter Riso?
Walter Riso is a renowned Italian psychologist with almost 30 years of experience working in clinical psychology. He alternates his work as a psychotherapist with his job as a university professor. He also conducts research in clinical practice and publishes his findings on psychology.
His bibliography includes 25 books of technical and academic texts. His works have been translated into more than 12 languages such as Chinese, Dutch, German, Italian, Catalan, Greek, Slovenian and English. Among his most outstanding books in English include:
- How to Deal with Infidelity
- How to Take the Suffering out of Love
- How to Overcome Emotional Dependency
- How to Be Assertive and Avoid Being Manipulated
- How to Improve Your Self-Esteem
Tips to Get Away from Your Ex
When a relationship ends, we go through different stages. Sometimes ,we’re obsessed with seeing them again until the moment we finally realize that we must let go of that person.
Follow these tips from Walter Riso and learn how to get away from your ex.
1. Remove them from social networks.
Currently, digital spaces are a part of most people’s lives. They’re used to keep up with what our friends are up to.
It’s for this reason that’s better to eliminate exes from Facebook, WhatsApp and from any other social network. That way, you won’t have them in your life in any way, shape or form.
2. Avoid talking about them.
Sharing your pain with people you trust can help you don’t make it a part of your daily conversations. However, try to distract yourself with other subjects. (Yes, even politics and religion!)
3. Build a new life project.
It’s crucial that you spend time reviewing your old goals and thinking of new ones. Thus, you’ll stop thinking about your ex slowly until you’re emotionally free and independent.
4. Don’t contact them.
Maintain your dignity, above all. Begging, humiliation, and setups to or from your ex-lover won’t only diminish your possibilities of a healthy separation, but it will also increase your feeling of frustration and diminish your sense of worth.
5. Don’t idealize them.
One of the biggest mistakes that will keep you from moving away is idealizing your ex-lover. Still, many times you may do it because of your need to justify your ego.
We recommend identifying any distortions and fantasy stories you may be telling yourself and look at reality as it really is.
Did you know? What to Do if Your Ex Wants to Be Friends
You Must Lose All Hope
According to Walter Riso, one of the most frequent obstacles when it comes to getting away from an ex-partner is hope. When problems in a relationship arise, hope is positive because it drives you to act and to persevere in rebuilding a relationship. However, when it comes to a break-up, this virtue will, most likely, turn against you.
While there’s hope, it’s impossible to get away from a person who’s meant so much to you, or at least from their memory. In emotional matters, this is just as limiting. The fear of loss alters your perception and hope often remains despite evident signs of disinterest from the other party.
Also, many people create ties based on attachment. They’re afraid to be affectionate, develop low self-esteem and start believing that no one else will ever love them. With that premise, the distance seems even more painful and difficult.
Read this article: Types of People that are Hard to Deal With
In order to get away from your ex, do an honest self-check to see if you still harbor any feelings of hope.
When a relationship ends, it’s likely that your sadness may lead you to fall into a vicious circle. So, if you think this is the case, then apply these five tips from Walter Riso to get away from your ex and reinforce your decision and strength to do so.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
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Riso, W. (2003). Amar o depender?: cómo superar el apego afectivo y hacer del amor una experiencia plena y saludable. Editorial Norma.
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Riso, W. (2012). Enamórate de ti. Grupo Editorial Planeta.
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Riso, W. (2012). Desapegarse sin anestesia. Editorial Planeta.