A Hole in Your Heart: Is Something Missing?
Sometimes it might feel like you have a hole in your heart, even if you don’t know how it got there. It’s an emotional drain, leaving you feeling incomplete. You might need to fill it with something and in that desperate search to find if you end up doing things that harm you.
Having a hole in your heart can happen after a loved one dies, after a breakup, or maybe just after a disappointment. In addition, it’s often closely linked to a loss of the meaning of life.
Pay attention. If this lasts and you start to try filling it with people and things, you’ll be patching over the real reason you’re feeling this emotional emptiness.
The infinite hole in your heart
Many people attempt to make up for an emotional hole that’s tormenting them by finding refuge in material things. This is when you may make compulsive purchases that later come knocking on your conscience.
You spend money in an attempt to distract yourself from what’s causing you so much pain. However, it’s just a patch. It won’t solve your true problem.
On the other hand, other people try to fill the hole in their hearts by getting attached to people. They may even use and manipulate so they don’t have to feel alone. This is a big mistake because they’re hurting both others and themselves. Unfortunately, it will end in a destructive, unfortunate situation.
Many times, compulsive eating, drugs, or self-harm happen because the feeling is so unbearable they find ways to avoid the problem. This happens because the hole is so unbearable they try to escape or run away from it through these kinds of habits and behaviors.
Check this out How to Keep from Eating When You’re Sad
Your childhood, as you already know, is a key stage in your life. It’s when emotional deficiencies are created that can cause problems all throughout your adult life.
If you grew up in an unstructured family or if your parents had a dysfunctional relationship, or you suffered some kind of abuse are all very relevant factors in this field.
As a kid, you adapted to what you had. However, when you grow up, emotional interactions become infinitely more complicated. The things you went through resurface in your life with more power than ever.
Sometimes, you don’t even remember what happened in your childhood to cause this. That’s why seeing a professional can be so helpful.
Therapy can help you find out the root of the problem. Then, your therapist will give you the tools you need to be able to start walking towards health again.
The hole in your heart will just…create more holes in your heart
No matter how hard you try to fill it, if you try to fill the hole in your heart with people, new clothes, or food, it won’t go away.
These patches don’t work. They turn into a vicious cycle and even more, anxiety is created. Sometimes, you hesitate. You’re afraid to ask for help when it would actually be one of the best decisions you could ever make.
You can’t face everything alone. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re vulnerable, but that you’re brave for wanting to change. You’re now the one responsible for your well being.
The hole in your heart will keep leaving you feeling empty if you don’t start to fill it with love for yourself! Good self-esteem is the main engine that’ll make you feel good again and will allow those wounds to heal.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
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- Ekman, P. (2005). Basic Emotions. In Handbook of Cognition and Emotion. https://doi.org/10.1002/0470013494.ch3
- Keil, A., & Miskovic, V. (2015). Human Emotions. In Sleep and Affect. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-417188-6.00002-5
- VV.AA. (2013). Conductas autolesivas no suicidas en la práctica clínica. Primera parte: conceptualización y diagnóstico. https://scielo.conicyt.cl/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S0717-92272013000100006