A Hole in Your Heart: Is Something Missing?

27 February, 2019
You don't need material things or other people to fill the hole in your heart. There's only one thing that can fill it: loving yourself.

Sometimes it might feel like you have a hole in your heart, even if you don’t know how it got there. It’s an emotional drain, leaving you feeling incomplete. You might need to fill it with something.

Having a hole in your heart can happen after a loved one dies, after a breakup, or maybe just after a disappointment.

Pay attention. If if this lasts and you start to try filling it with people and things, you’ll be patching over the real reason you’re feeling this emotional emptiness.

Is depression leading to weight gain?

Check this out: How to Keep from Eating When You’re Sad

The infinite hole in your heart

hole in your heart

Many people attempt to make up for an emotional hole that’s tormenting them by finding refuge in material things. This is when you may make compulsive purchases that later come knocking on your conscience.

You spend money in an attempt to distract yourself from what’s causing you so much pain. However, it’s just a patch. It won’t solve your true problem.

On the other hand, other people try to fill the hole in their heart by getting attached to people. They may even use and manipulate so they don’t have to feel alone.


This is a big mistake because they’re hurting both others and themselves. Unfortunately, it will end in a destructive, unfortunate situation.

However, this hole in your heart makes you desperate and leads you to attach yourself to something or someone that can give you relief — now.

Many times, hurting people turn to compulsive eating or self-harm because the feeling is so unbearable they find ways to avoid the problem.

Childhood origins

Your childhood, as you already know, is a key stage in your life. It’s when emotional deficiencies are created that can cause problems all throughout your adult life.

If you grew up in an unstructured family or if you parents had a dysfunctional relationship, you probably didn’t get the affection you needed.

As a kid, you adapted to what you had. Hence, there may not have been a noticeable impact while you were still young.

However, when you grow up, emotional interactions become infinitely more complicated. The things you went through resurface in your life with more power than ever. They show how much they really did affect you, and how much trouble they’re now causing you.


Sometimes, you don’t even remember what happened in your childhood to cause this. That’s why seeing a professional can be so helpful.

Therapy can help you find out the root of the problem. Then, your therapist will give you the tools you need to be able to start walking towards health again.

The hole in your heart will just…create more holes in your heart

No matter how hard you try to fill it, if you try to fill the hole in your heart with people, new clothes, or food, it won’t go away.

You can stay in that relationship you’ve put in charge of making you happy and still feel empty. Or, you can buy all kinds of things and look at them and realize you still don’t feel whole.

These patches don’t work. They turn into a vicious cycle and even more anxiety is created. Sometimes, you hesitate. You’re afraid to ask for help when it would actually be one of the best decisions you could ever make.

You can’t face everything alone. Even if you know what’s happening to you, you may not have the tools you need to choose another path.

So, what can be done?

It’s time to stop filling that hole in your heart with useless things and blaming your parents. They did the best they could. You’re now the one responsible for your well being, so accept it and ask for help.


Trying to combat that inner emptiness? Check out:

 5 Ways to Connect with Your Inner “You” to Fight Emotional Emptiness

You just need a push, a: “You’re not alone in this!” After all, we’ve all gotten lost at some point. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t still find ourselves.

The hole in your heart will keep leaving you feeling empty if you don’t start to fill it with love for yourself!

Principal image courtesy of wikiHow.com