He Cheated on Me with My Best Friend: Now What?

· September 11, 2018
Remember that relationships -- whether they're romantic or between friends-- are fragile, like porcelain jars. Infidelity can break them forever... you can pick up the pieces and put them back together, but things won't be like they were before.

Nobody enjoys getting cheated on, that’s for sure. However, there are certain flings that hurt more than others. That’s especially the case when we know the third-party.

You might not believe it, but there are many women who’ve suffered from a cheating ex who made moves on people near and dear to them.

Is there a more painful and terrible situation than having to say “he cheated on me with my best friend”?

There probably isn’t.

In today’s article, we’ll tell you just how to respond to this horrible situation.

He cheated on me with my best friend: now what do I do?

Maybe you caught him in the act. Perhaps you’ve been suspicious and found messages or telling evidence… Or maybe your (perhaps now ex) boyfriend fessed up because of a heavy conscious.

What’s for sure is that you’ve found out the worst possible situation: he cheated on you with your best friend. You might feel betrayal from both sides, because it wasn’t just your romantic partner that acted unfaithfully, but also your friend.

Of course, your first reaction might be freaking out, anger or hopelessness. After, you might experience a period of suffering and anguish. However, at some point, you have to make a decision about what you want to do or what you think will be best for you.

There are different ways to go about the situation and each one of them requires a certain level of calmness and time.

You can’t decide our future in just a minute. You need to reflect and analyze the pros and cons critically.

The most common options are:

Option 1: leave your boyfriend and fight with your friend

If you can’t accept cheating, or maybe it hasn’t been the first time that your boyfriend cheated, then your best bet is cutting ties. After all, both people (your boyfriend and friend) have behaved terribly and stabbed you in the back.

Of course, it’s a painful decision because you won’t only be losing your partner, but also the person to whom you offered your friendship.

Know that it’ll be extremely painful, that you’ll find it hard to trust people again and that you really should find someone with whom you can talk to about what happened. Looking for professional help can be a great option.

Cheated on Me

Option 2: talking and reaching an agreement with your partner

Some women, after finding out that their partners cheated on them with their best friends, choose to stay with their partner. They blame the other women or might choose to continue the relationship for their children or because they’re able to forgive.

couple having a difficult conversation

In order to reach this kind of decision, calming yourself down is essential as well as is allowing your partner to tell his side of the story. Maybe there was a mistake, confusion,  a moment of weakness or drunkenness… Of course, these could also be excuses, and believing them (or not) depends on you.

In any case, you should always listen to what the other person has to say, even if we don’t forgive them. However, if you decide to come to agreement with your partner and continue as a couple, something needs to change: maybe you should go to couples therapy, go out together more, have better sex, etc.

You might be interested in discovering:

7 Ways to Communicate Better in Your Relationship

Option 3: listening to your (ex?) best friend’s side of the story

This is another option. It doesn’t make sense to say “my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend” and not feel also feel anger or aggression towards the person who you trusted so much. However, you should also give her a chance to tell what and how things happened with your partner.

Just as in the previous option, accepting her story and, most importantly, forgiving her or ending the friendship depends on you. It’ll depend on how truthful her story is and if you’re willing to still be friends with her.

Remember that relationships — whether they’re romantic or between friends— are fragile, like porcelain jars. Infidelity can break them forever… you can pick up the pieces and put them back together, but things won’t be like they were before.

Conversation

For any decision that you make, patience and calm are essential. First off, you’ll need tranquility to think about your future. Bursts of sadness, rising jealously and paranoia are normal.

Without any doubt, there’s nothing good about cheating and we wouldn’t wish it on our worst enemy… but it just might be a new opportunity to improve a relationship or learn to be more careful before trusting someone.