7 Ways to Communicate Better in Your Relationship
If you want to communicate better in your relationship, let out all feelings you’ve been trying to hide from everyone. You’ll have to trust your partner.
People often confuse “good communication” with just conversing. Of course having good conversations with your partner is important, but it’s not the only way to show your feelings and get closer to them.
To build a solid base and a successful relationship, you will need to be honest and kind to each other, accept each other’s mistakes, and communicate better.
Continue reading to learn how.
1. Be real and don’t keep secrets
There are always secrets in relationships, the kind you intend to reveal to your partner as a surprise (like a gift) or delicate issues you’re not ready to share yet. It’s understandable. Surprises can add spice to a relationship. However, if you want to communicate better in your relationship, don’t keep secrets about your past.
If you have a past hurt or condition that’s hard to talk about, take your time but remember that you will have to share it at some point. The important thing is that your partner knows that it’s a subject that’s hard for you to talk about in the moment.
Your partner may ask questions, so be ready for that. It’s normal. They may just be concerned about what happened to you and how it affects your life now.
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2. Watch your tone of voice
A lot of arguments blow up not because of what’s said, but by how it’s said: the tone of voice used. You need to pay attention to how you say things if you want to communicate better in a relationship.
Raising your voice is unnecessary in most cases. You might be doing it just to be heard, but consider how your partner might be taking it. After all, when you raise your voice you’re basically implying that what your partner is saying doesn’t matter.
3. Be careful how you express yourself in texts messages
Another area to pay attention to if you want to communicate better in your relationship is texting. You and your partner probably communicate via texts and other messages a lot throughout the day to share your experiences and chat whenever you have a minute.
However, be careful how you do it. It’s like our point on tone of voice; a thoughtless text could end in a fight if it’s interpreted wrong. The solution is to think before you hit send and don’t allow any room for bad interpretations.
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4. Talk about things and try to forgive
When your partner has made a mistake, talk about it in order to understand and forgive him/her. It sounds simple, but it’s not, because being willing to forgive your partner also means being willing to improve.
Here, you should clarify exactly what mistakes each person makes, and do it objectively. Once you agree upon what caused the problem, dialogue in order to find ways to prevent it from happening again.
5. Let yourself be vulnerable.
One effective way to communicate better in your relationship is to be a bit vulnerable with your partner. Specifically, when it comes to letting yourself express the feelings that you usually cover up.
Nobody likes doing it. People are afraid that uncovering their fears, frustration, and trauma will make them look weak, like easy prey. However, if you can’t be vulnerable with your partner and expect their support, who can you do it with?
If you’re with someone you love and want to spend the best years of your life with, then you also have to let them see your dark, hidden parts.
6. Break the ice with physical contact
If your partner has a lot of trouble talking about what’s going on with them, it may be that words just aren’t enough. Break the ice in tense moments like these with a hug to let them know that you’re there, listening to them and appreciating them.
Sometimes the way to communicate better in your relationship is to simply listen and keep quiet. Let them vent. Even if you can’t do anything concrete to help, it will make your partner feel better.
7. Don’t assume things
Don’t assume that you know what your partner will do or say. When you take something for granted, you put them in a box and close off any opportunity for them to surprise you.
Besides, most of the time you’re assuming things based on your own expectations. If you fall into this trap, you could be sabotaging your relationship, your partner, and yourself. Even if your partner has consistently done something a certain way, give them a chance to change.
Do you need to communicate better in your relationship? What other tips would you give to someone in this situation?
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Yoo, H., Bartle-Haring, S., Day, R. D., & Gangamma, R. (2014). Couple communication, emotional and sexual intimacy, and relationship satisfaction. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2012.751072
- Halford, K., Nicholson, J., & Sanders, M. (2007). Couple communication in stepfamilies. Family Process. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2007.00226.x
- Fries, P. (2005). A mechanism for cognitive dynamics: Neuronal communication through neuronal coherence. Trends in Cognitive Sciences. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2005.08.011