Express Your Affection to the People You Love Every Day

No matter how much time we spend with our partner, we need to show them our love on a daily basis. We also need to learn to receive it and not give into emotional manipulation.

Reviewed and approved by psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Written by Valeria Sabater

Last update: 27 May, 2022

There’s no richer, more beautiful love than the kind that comes from someone who truly cares about you and respects you. If you take it for granted and don’t take the time to nurture it and express your affection every day, it can be lost forever.

Relationship experts warn us that one of the most common reasons couples split up is because one party isn’t getting the attention they need.

Feelings are often taken for granted, when in reality, feelings like love need to be renewed every day.

While it might sound a little idyllic or on the poetic side, a relationship should be tended to and nurtured every day.

Today we’ll look at why it’s so important to express your affection to those you love every day.

Love that is nurtured every day grows beautiful and free

Sometimes just being loved isn’t enough: it needs to be shown.

As we get older, despite the experience we’ve gained, people still need shows of affection to reaffirm the bond.

Our brain operates with a very refined reward system. It’s these areas of the brain where our feelings and emotions are “nourished.”

The emotional brain craves the oxytocin and dopamine that are released when we experience true love, intimate and passionate.

Our brain is a complex piece of chemical machinery with one aim: to feel united and at one with someone or something.

Our minds need a purpose and our hearts need people and things to love.

We know how important it is to love ourselves. But to maintain an intimate relationship, you need to show and express your affection daily to reinforce your bonds and activate your neural reward system.

Now let’s take a look at some of the strategies we can use to tend to our garden of special relationships.

Make me feel like someone important in your life.

• A partner isn’t just someone to say hello to when you get home. They’re not just someone to tell all our problems to without even considering theirs.
• Your partner is someone who feels and has needs of their own. They deserve to be loved and nurtured.
• Since they’re the person you’ve chosen to build a future with, it’s really vital to make them feel just how important they are to you each and every day.
• Every conversation you have with your partner has an impact on the relationship. Remember to show your appreciation for having them at your side and for having them in your life. Little things like these make a world of difference.
• Empathetic language and communication is one of the main pillars of loving someone.

The little things are important

• Your partner doesn’t want gifts, or trips to exotic places every weekend. Anyone who loves you only wants your presence, not an excuse at the last minute cancelling dinner or bailing on plans for the weekend.
• Part of what makes the little things so special is that you actually express your affection with every gesture. An unexpected caress, a hug from behind, a “let me do that for you,” a “you are the best thing that has ever happened to me,” or a “you make life more and more beautiful.”

Emotional support, not selfishness

• Your partner should be the best source of support in your life and someone you can always count on. However, some people have a different idea of support: “If I do that for you, then you should do this for me.” That’s not right. Real love doesn’t know a thing about selfishness. It doesn’t put itself first while it waits for the other person to fulfill its needs.
• The happiest and most lasting relationships understand the importance of unconditional support. They know it’s the rudder that guides us during difficult times. During those times when we most need someone, our partners are there to remind us that we have their love and support.

The love that doesn’t hold you back, the love that lets you grow

Anyone who loves you will never put up barriers to your growth. Love offers you both wings to fly and roots to grow from – like a garden that needs a little tending each day.

• It’s not easy to do because not everyone understands or knows how to foster personal growth in their partner. Not everyone knows how to tend to the private garden created between two people in a relationship.
• True love is able to show the other person that you care about them, their interests, their hobbies and values. It’s letting the other person know that you’re invested in their happiness and personal well being.

Always remember: if you love someone, tend to that commitment and express your affection a little bit each and every day.