How to End a Relationship in a Healthy Way

· September 24, 2015
Since breakups are always somewhat painful and hard to forget, you should try to end a relationship in the calmest, most mature way possible.

What’s the best way to end a relationship? Sometimes, fights, problems, and differences of opinion lead to a traumatic breakup. However, whenever possible, you should try to end your relationship in a healthy, mature way.

Think about it this way. When you close a chapter in your life, you shouldn’t let feelings like anger and rage control your behavior. In the following article, we’ll give you a few tips so that, if you have to end a romantic relationship, you can do it in the best possible way.

1. When you’ve exhausted all other options: The final talk

You always know when it’s time. There comes a point when a relationship just can’t continue, and both people in the relationship are usually aware of this fact.

But it’s always hard to take that final step. It’s hard to imagine your life without that person who has been by your side for so long. Nonetheless, you need to move toward an ending, toward your separation.

But why can’t I make up my mind?

  • You’re afraid of telling the other person that you no longer love them or that you can’t stay in the relationship any longer.
  • You’re afraid of being alone. This may surprise you, but lots of people prefer to stay in an unhappy relationship rather than be alone. This is a very immature but common attitude.
  • Lack of self-confidence. You’re unsure if you’re capable of explaining your true feelings when you have to end the relationship. Some people, instead of being brave, just leave without any explanation. That’s definitely not appropriate.

Discover: Types of Breakups That Shatter our Hearts

If you want to end a romantic relationship in a healthy way, you need to talk face to face with your partner and explain the situation. You can also try these tips:

  • Organize your thoughts before meeting up with your partner. Be clear on all the things you want to explain and the reasons why you want to end the relationship. You may also want to think of possible answers to any questions they might have. If you feel insecure, at least try to be mentally prepared.
  • Express yourself calmly and sincerely. You know that it’s time for this relationship to end. You’re decided on that fact, and you need to express that sureness.
  • You may end up fighting at some point during the conversation. Be prepared for that fact, and try to always remain calm and focused on your previously developed ideas. Show them that you know what you want, and that what you want is ultimately the best decision for both of you.
A shattered glass heart.

2. Manage your emotions when you have to end a relationship

You should know that the way you end a relationship is something that you’ll remember for the rest of your life. Thus, you’re going to want it to go as smoothly as possible.

If you end your relationship by screaming, blaming your partner, getting angry, and expressing negative emotions, it’ll be very difficult for both of you to get over the event.

You’ll have to take more time after the breakup to get over that anger, calm down, and move on. So, whenever possible, try to make this ending as mature and calm as possible. Be confident.

  • You should know that ending the relationship is what’s best for both of you. Being sure of this fact will make you feel calmer.
  • Keep your self-confidence up. You know what’s best for you, and you need to let the other person know that the relationship in question does more harm than good.
  • You should also know that, after breaking up, you’ll be filled with a combination of strange, nervous emotions. That’s normal. It’s also normal to cry, feel sad, or feel heartbroken. This is part of the process, and you need to be able to accept it.
  • However, you should try to avoid feelings such as anger or contempt, because these negative emotions will make it even harder for you to get over your breakup.
A person holding a camera.

3. Come to terms with the breakup and move on

There are lots of couples out there that, after breaking up, take a step back and decide to start over again. Obviously, every couple is unique, and they all have their own energy and personal rules. But if you’re totally sure that your relationship is only causing you pain, you need to close that door permanently.

Read more here: Why People Don’t End Relationships When They No Longer Work

  • Ending a romantic relationship means closing a chapter in your life. It’s not the end. It’s a new beginning, and you need to convince your partner of that fact. If you have harmed each other, what’s the point in continuing? It’s time to be brave and start out two separate lives.
  • You’ll need to come to terms with a new lifestyle while still processing lots of old emotions. That’s normal. Ideally, you should hold on to the good memories. If you focus on the bad, you’ll only be feeding your anger and frustration, which is very unhealthy.
  • Remember that the past is the past, a thing that no longer exists. Hold on to the good that you’ve lived and stick with that. Learn from what you lived and be proud of yourself. You’ve closed one door, but, as a result, many more will open up for you. You’re wiser and stronger now.
A person blowing on a dandelion.

Accept the fact that life is cyclical. There are seasons that end and new roads that appear. We have to constantly try to find our own personal happiness. If you happen to find someone who wants to embark on that path with you, make a move. Love is always worth it.