Emotional Vacuum: the Hole I Don’t Believe I Can Fill

· August 2, 2017
What if you didn't need anyone else to fill that hole you feel inside? Stop looking outwards for someone to fill your emotional vacuum and fill it with love for yourself.

An emotional vacuum has a lot to do with the feeling of loneliness.

We try so hard to avoid “being alone.” After all, most people reject it. Some even mock solitary people and criticize those who like to spend time by themselves.

Read: Learn to Be Alone

Given that we’re social beings we automatically end up trying to be like others, even if we have strong self-esteem. 

But what if we’re not like everyone else? What’s wrong with that?

The never-ending search to fill the emotional vacuum

Faced with this, we end up trying to fill this inner hole that resounds in our stomach. This hole makes us believe that we’re lacking something, that we’re incomplete.

Perhaps all this has a lot to do with when you were a child.

Your parents’ dysfunctional relationship, added to cultural beliefs in the quest for Prince Charming, have made you feel like half a person, someone who needs someone else to be complete.

What do we achieve with this belief? Nothing. We just feed ourselves with emotional dependency, a terrible anxiety, and a constant search for that “other half” who will never fill that hole that we are feeling anyway.

We always search outside ourselves for that which we think we’re lacking inside. This is quite ironic, because depending on others to fill our holes makes us need others to feel well and happy.

Discover: 7 Benefits of Being Single and Happy

However, it doesn’t matter how much we search, how much enthusiasm we put into it, and how many lies we tell ourselves. No matter what, we’ll keep finding ourselves in the same situation where pain and disappointment are very present.

How to avoid depending on others to fill our emotional hole

Not everything that other people think is right is true.

When you feel overwhelmed because you feel different, when people laugh at you because you haven’t found anyone and loneliness is what awaits you, stop trying to fit in.

Stop wanting your life to be how others tell you it should be.

Sometimes, we should start questioning certain beliefs that we consider to be true. After all, in reality there are many other ways of seeing and experiencing things.

Read: Worthless Words that Aren’t Followed by Actions

Trying to live in the same way as everyone else can be really exhausting and frustrating. It’s not necessary to have a partner, nor to have children, to feel fulfilled and complete.

This is a belief that tries to make those who distance themselves from what up until now has been considered “the path you have to follow” feel unhappy.

Love yourself, treat yourself

The very concept of believing we need another half encourages us to stop putting ourselves first in order to prioritize another person who will make us feel complete.

However, this will achieve nothing more than feeding the hole that we’re trying to fill with people, loving words, shows of affection and a love that we don’t even give ourselves.

We’re not aware that if we want this emotional hole to disappear, we need to love ourselves. We need to treat ourselves and think of ourselves first before getting involved in a relationship and proclaiming a love that we don’t even give ourselves.

It will only be then that we won’t depend on anyone else.

Then, if a relationship doesn’t work, this hole that caused us so much suffering won’t reappear. Then, we’ll know we don’t need anyone to fill it.

We just needed to put our focus on ourselves.

Before you go, don’t miss: 5 Permissions You Must Give Yourself Today for Emotional Growth

Stop thinking you need someone. Stop feeding that hole that has been created with mistaken beliefs about who you are and what you should be in order to feel complete.

It’s time to love yourself and to prioritize yourself, even though this is still sometimes seen in a poor light and is still considered “selfish” today.

Don’t let yourself continue believing that everything you hear around you is the only truth.

Learn to question everything. After all, many beliefs do more harm than good, and some are feeding your emotional hole without you even realizing it.

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