Emotional Vacuum: the Hole I Don’t Believe I Can Fill

December 17, 2018
What if you didn't need anyone else to fill that hole you feel inside? Stop looking outwards for someone to fill your emotional vacuum and fill it with love for yourself.

An emotional vacuum has a lot to do with the feeling of loneliness. People try so hard to avoid “being alone“. After all, most people reject it. Some even mock solitary people and criticize those who like to spend time by themselves.

Since humans are social beings, we automatically end up trying to be like others, even if we have strong self-esteem.  But what if we’re not like everyone else? What’s wrong with that?

The never-ending search to fill the emotional vacuum

Painting of a couple

Faced with this, people end up trying to fill this inner hole that echoes in our stomach. This hole makes them believe that they’re lacking something and they’re incomplete. Perhaps all this has a lot to do with their childhood.

Dysfunctional relationship of parents, added to cultural beliefs in the quest for Prince Charming, have made people feel broken inside and needing someone else to be complete.

What do people achieve with this belief? Nothing. People just feed themselves with emotional dependency, a terrible anxiety, and a constant search for that “other half” who will never be able to fill their emptiness.

People always search outside of themselves in order to find what they believe are lacking inside. This is quite ironic because depending on others to fill their holes makes them need others to feel happy.

Check out this article too: 7 Benefits of Being Single and Happy

Painting of a woman with an emotional vacuum

However, it doesn’t matter how much people search, how much enthusiasm they put into it, and how many lies they tell themselves. No matter what, they’ll be caught up in the same situation that’s full of pain and disappointment.

How to avoid depending on others to fill your emotional hole

Not everything that other people think is right is true.

Whenever you feel overwhelmed because of feeling different when you get laughed because you haven’t found anyone and loneliness is what awaits you, stop trying to fit in.

Stop expecting your life to be how others tell you it should be.

Sometimes, people should start questioning certain beliefs that others consider to be true. After all, in reality, there are many other ways of seeing and experiencing things.

Read this article too: Worthless Words that Aren’t Followed by Actions

Painting of a person covering their face

Trying to live in the same way as everyone else can be really exhausting and frustrating. It’s not necessary to have a partner or children in order to feel fulfilled and complete.

This is a belief that tries to make those who distance themselves from what up until now has been considered “the path you should follow” feel unhappy.

Love yourself, treat yourself well

The very concept of believing you need another half encourages you to stop putting yourself first in order to prioritize another person that will make you feel complete.

However, this will achieve nothing more than making that hole even bigger, by filling it with people, loving words, demonstrations of affection and a love you don’t even give to yourself.

People are unaware that if they want this emotional vacuum to disappear, they need to love themselves. They need to treat themselves well and put themselves first before getting involved in a relationship and displaying a love that they don’t even give to themselves.

As of that moment, people will stop depending on others. Then, if a relationship doesn’t work, this hole that caused them so much suffering won’t reappear. And they won’t need anyone to fill it because all of what they would need is to focus on themselves. 

Lady dancing on the beach

Stop thinking you need someone. Stop feed that hole that has been created with mistaken beliefs about who you are and what you should be in order to feel complete.

It’s time to love yourself and to prioritize yourself, even though this is still sometimes seen in a poor light and in today’s world is still considered as “selfish“.

Don’t let yourself continue believing that everything you hear around you is the only truth. Learn to question everything. After all, many beliefs do more harm than good, and some are feeding your emotional vacuum without you even realizing it.

Main image courtesy of © wikiHow.com

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