Don’t Give up on Love; Give up on the People Who Didn’t Know How to Love You

· October 15, 2017
Instead of giving up on love, learn to love yourself first so that you don't have to beg others for affection and then make bad choices in partners.

Love is a beautiful feeling that everyone deserves to experience. However, you’ve probably also suffered and been hurt during this experience.

However, don’t give up on love. This would be a serious mistake.

It’s better to give up on all of those who didn’t know how to love you as you deserved. Or, it’s better to decide to stop making the same mistakes and allowing yourself to be led by ideals or expectations that end up collapsing over time.

Love can be incredibly painful when we fill it with dependency, jealousy, abuse, possession or insecurities.

This is why it is important not to give up on love, but rather on what you thought it was until now.

Read: The Difference Between Love and Obsession

Don’t give up on love because of toxic relationships

Sometimes, it’s the people who least suit us that seem to take hold of our heart most strongly.

We idealize them from the start, but what happens over time? Everything changes, nothing is the same, or perhaps we just didn’t see it before.

Sometimes, when we have very strong feelings for someone, we can become blind. Suddenly, everyone around us tells us that they’re not in our best interests, but we insist that they’re mistaken.

We put a blindfold over our eyes to try to make “they lived happily ever after” a reality. After all, we all still secretly believe in finding the knight in shining armor or the delicate and beautiful princess…

However, finding people that we end up creating a toxic link with and covering the word “love” with pain, is not the same thing.

We have to learn to leave aside the expectations and dreams that are only real in the movies.

This is real life and here there are no princes or princesses. What we will find is lots of people who can do us a lot of damage if we close our eyes from the start instead of opening them.

What do you think love is?

We’ve been talking about princes and princesses, but what about finding “your other half”? This is a more modern concept, but it’s still incredibly damaging.

Society instills in us the need to find a partner, because this is the synonym of success in relationships. However, calling the other person “your other half” can make you love in an unrealistic way.

Many people struggle every day of their life with emotional dependency. This is a problem that is easy to fall into but difficult to get out of.

You abandon yourself to the other person, thinking that without them you’re nobody. But who were even before having a partner for the first time?

Attaching yourself to someone is not love, nor is depending on someone. Love is free and must allow you to grow. When it exhausts you, tires you, makes you suffer, or suffocates you, it is not love. Believe us, it is something else.

It is your fears speaking, your insecurities, and your deep fear of loneliness.

Sometimes, you don’t get into relationships because you love the other person, but rather because you feel relieved to find someone who is interested in you, who cares about you and wants to be by your side.

Be careful with this. Sooner or later you will suffer, and if you don’t realize what’s happening, you may end up in one relationship after another without taking healthy breaks.

Each relationship will be doubly painful as the previous one. However, we’re in this life to suffer. Isn’t it time we start letting go of the pain caused by a mistaken belief of what love is?

Read: 5 Subtle Ways to Damage Your Emotional Well Being

Love does not mean struggling or suffering

Don’t give up on true love. Give up on love that makes you suffer and cry every night over someone who isn’t really worth it.

You believe that it is this way because you’ve made this person the center of your world.

However, when you open your eyes and see the situation with some perspective, you’ll realize that it wasn’t such a big deal, that the other person wasn’t worth suffering and giving so much for.

Don’t give up on love. Give up on the people who you can’t build a healthy relationship with, whether it be because there are things you need to heal in yourself or because the other person isn’t able to offer you what you need.

There are people whose false ideas of love mean they don’t know how to love, and perhaps you’ve met many of them.

Whatever your situation, never give up on love.

Before you go, don’t miss: I Love You, But I Don’t Need You

Illustrations courtesy of Elodie Nadreau

Main image courtesy of ©