Don't Give up on Love; Give up on the People Who Didn't Know How to Love You
Love is a beautiful feeling that everyone deserves to experience. However, you’ve probably also suffered and been hurt during this experience. But that doesn’t mean you should give up on love. This would be a serious mistake.
It’s better to give up on all of those who didn’t know how to love you as you deserved. Or, it’s better to decide to stop making the same mistakes and allowing yourself to be led by unrealistic expectations that end up disappointing you over time.
Love can be incredibly painful when it involves dependency, jealousy, abuse, possession, or insecurity.
Nevertheless, it’s important not to give up on love. Instead, let go of what you’ve mistakenly been thinking it is.
Don’t give up on love because of toxic relationships
Sometimes it’s the people who least suit us that seem to take hold of our heart most strongly.
We idealize them from the start, but what happens over time? Everything changes, nothing is the same, or perhaps we just didn’t see it before.
Sometimes, when we have very strong feelings for someone, we can become blind. Suddenly, everyone around us tells us that they’re not in our best interests, but we insist that they’re mistaken.
We put a blindfold over our eyes to try to make the “happily ever after” a reality. After all, we all still secretly believe in finding the knight in shining armor or the delicate and beautiful princess.
However, people commonly end up creating a toxic link with the person they obsess over. They then cover their disappointments with the word “love.” This is not the real designation for these types of relationships.
We have to learn to leave aside the expectations and dreams that are only real in the movies.
This is real life and here there are no princes or princesses. What we will find is lots of people who can cause us a lot of pain if we close our eyes from the start instead of opening them.
What do you think love is?
We’ve been talking about princes and princesses, but what about finding “your other half”? This is a more modern concept, but it’s still incredibly damaging.
Society instills in us the need to find a partner because this is synonymous with success in relationships. However, calling someone else “your other half” can lead you to love in an unrealistic way.
Many people struggle every day of their lives with emotional dependency. This is a problem in which it’s easy to fall but difficult to get out of.
You abandon yourself to the other person, thinking that without them you’re nobody. But you forget that you were someone before you had a partner for the first time.
Attaching yourself to someone isn’t love, nor is depending on someone. Love is free and must allow you to grow. When it exhausts you, tires you, makes you suffer, or suffocates you, it’s not love. Believe us – it’s something else.
It is your fears speaking, your insecurities, and your deep fear of loneliness.
Sometimes, you don’t get into relationships because you love the other person, but rather because you feel relieved to find someone who is interested in you, who cares about you and wants to be by your side.
Be careful with this. If you don’t realize what’s happening in a bad relationship, you may end up in one relationship after another without taking healthy breaks.
Each relationship will be doubly painful as the previous one. Isn’t it time we start letting go of the pain caused by mistaken beliefs of what love is?
Love doesn’t mean struggling or suffering
Don’t give up on true love. Give up on love that makes you suffer and cry every night over someone who isn’t really worth it.
You believe that things are like that because you’ve made this person the center of your world.
However, when you open your eyes and see the situation with some perspective, you’ll realize that it wasn’t such a big deal. The person you were obsessing over wasn’t worth suffering and giving so much for.
Don’t give up on love. Give up on the people who you can’t build a healthy relationship with, whether it be because there are things you need to heal in yourself or because the other person isn’t able to offer you what you need.
There are people whose false ideas of love mean they don’t know how to love, and perhaps you’ve met many of them.
Whatever your situation, never give up on love.
Illustrations courtesy of Elodie Nadreau
Main image courtesy of © wikiHow.com
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Rubin, Z. (1970). Measurement of romantic love. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0029841
- Acevedo, B. P., & Aron, A. (2009). Does a Long-Term Relationship Kill Romantic Love? Review of General Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0014226
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Estévez, A., Chávez-Vera, M. D., Momeñe, J., Olave, L., Vázquez, D., & Iruarrizaga, I. (2018). The role of emotional dependence in the relationship between attachment and impulsive behavior.
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Aiquipa Tello, J. J., & Song Suárez, N. M. (2018). Couple emotional dependence as a risk factor in the consumption of psychoactive substances in women. Int J Fam Commun Med, 2(4), 165-171.
