“He who swallows much eventually drowns.” Maybe you’ve heard this old saying, which describes repressed emotions, before. Like the majority of these sayings, they remind us of our ancestors and contain universal truths that we should pay attention to.
How many things do you hold in every day? How many thoughts and feelings do you keep to yourself trying not to offend others? Be careful, because in the end you’re only doing damage to yourself. We’ll explain some of the dangers of repressed emotions below.
1. Silence can mean consent, but… everything has a limit.
Silence is wisdom, there’s no doubt about that, and it’s always better than saying something foolish. Before making an off-color comment or saying something inappropriate, it’s better to consider things and show more intelligence than someone who doesn’t think before they speak.
However, there has to be a balance between keeping quiet and defending your needs:
If you keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself, you won’t be able to let others know how they’re hurting you or that they’ve crossed the line. No one is a fortune teller, if you don’t let others know that something upsets or offends you, they won’t know.
Sometimes it’s wise to stay silent, but at other times, you’ll have to choose wise words. Knowing when to speak up and when to stay quiet is one of the most important skills you can learn to develop. It’s not about keeping absolutely quiet or letting out every last thing on your mind. Extremes are never good. Maintain a balance, but always remember that hiding your feelings only damages you. It allows others to violate your personal space, cross the line, speak for you when you say nothing, and choose for you when you don’t do it for yourself. In the end, you’ll be little more than a puppet strung along by others.
2. Holding things in leads to psychosomatic illnesses
It shouldn’t surprise you that the body and mind are intimately connected. Specialists are even warning that 40% of the population suffers or has suffered from some type of psychosomatic illness in their lives.
Nervousness, for example, alters digestion, causing diarrhea and headaches. Cold sores are triggered by elevated stress levels. Ignoring your thoughts and feelings leads to high levels of anxiety that tax the body.
Think about the things that you don’t tell your parents or friends because you don’t want to hurt them. They do things for you thinking that they’re helping, when in reality they’re just making you feel bad. Why can’t you tell them the truth? We also think of our partners, not wanting to offend them, although there are times that they behave in a way that hurts us. But, we choose to remain silent.
All of that will sooner or later result in psychosomatic illnesses, like migraines, tension, chronic fatigue…
3. Speaking up: the key to releasing repressed emotions
You shouldn’t be afraid to express yourself, and even less afraid of others who do it. It’s just as necessary as breathing, eating, or sleeping… Emotional communication is necessary in our day-to-day lives to establish healthier relationships with others and with ourselves.
Here are a few basic keys to follow:
Remember that everything has a limit. If you don’t speak up about your thoughts and feelings, you won’t be acting in a dignified manner, you’ll lose your self esteem and control of your life. In the first place, always remember that it’s your right to express what you’re thinking and feeling.
Saying what one thinks is not meant to hurt anyone. It’s defending yourself and letting others know how you feel.
Don’t obsess over or feel afraid about how others might react. If you’re worried about how things might be taken, you can prepare yourself for possible reactions. An example: you’re tired of your parents coming over every weekend and not having any intimacy with your partner. You’ve decided to tell them to stop coming over so often. How do you think they’ll react? If you think they’ll be offended, prepare yourself to explain that there’s no reason to be upset. If you think they’ll feel hurt, also be prepared to tell them that they shouldn’t feel this way either.
Remember that speaking up for what you’re thinking and feeling is, in reality, the best method of liberating yourself from repressed emotions. Practice it with wisdom and take care of yourself.
Lloyd, G. (2006). Textbook of Psychosomatic Medicine. The British Journal of Psychiatry. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.188.1.97
Armstrong, E., Mortensen, L., Ciccone, N., & Godecke, E. (2012). Expressing opinions and feelings in a conversational setting. Seminars in Speech and Language. https://doi.org/10.1055/s-0031-1301160
Wong, E., Tschan, F., Messerli, L., & Semmer, N. K. (2013). Expressing and amplifying positive emotions facilitate goal attainment in workplace interactions. Frontiers in Psychology. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2013.00188
Until recently, many people mistakenly believed that sugar improves mental performance. However, the latest studies call this claim into question. Now, scientists know that the body has very effective mechanisms to supply glucose to the brain, even without consuming sugar.…
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (O.D.D.) is usually diagnosed during childhood. It is characterized by very negative and challenging behaviors, as the name suggests. The child consistently is uncooperative, irritable and annoyed to the people around him or her, whether they be…
When your partner dies, you don’t just have to say goodbye to a very special person in your life. You also have to say goodbye to your past, present, and future together. You have to say goodbye to your life…
Today, we’d like to talk about the five habits you should avoid to maintain good mental health. Like any engine, our brain requires maintenance – and so does every other part of our body. Maintaining good mental health is essential. This…
Hormones are key for balancing our moods, especially for women. People’s moods, mental well-being, and overall health go hand-in-hand with hormones, and for women, estrogen is a very important hormone. Estrogen Estrogen is one of the most important substances that…
Some disorders influence behavior, conduct and lead to sudden changes in mood. Each one indicates symptoms of mental illness that could be caused by many reasons. They have serious health consequences, though. And even though it’s possible for these situations…