Appreciate People Now, Not When You Lose Them

It's important to appreciate people now, while you still have them, not after they are gone. Read more about this in today's article!

Written and verified by psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 27 May, 2022

Appreciate people when you have them, not when you lose them. What does this mean? Could it be that you’re overlooking some details? Well, it’s likely on more than one occasion…

This means that throughout the life cycle, there are several loved ones who, for whatever reasons, are no longer with us. We’re not only talking about deaths, but also about those cases in which someone leaves you for various reasons.

After that turning point when a friend, family member, or partner says goodbye, a time of doubts and pondering begins. We try to find a reason for what happened.

So, the way in which we overcome this process and the conclusions we come to will help us to face the future in one way or another. We invite you to reflect on this.

Appreciate people while you have them

We often talk about the need to put aside those complex interactions that, instead of facilitating harmony, bring us unhappiness. It seems that by moving away from toxic relationships, it’s possible to move forward more with less baggage and take care of our own emotional balance.

However, there’s something just as important as moving away from what hurts us, and that’s knowing how to offer the best of ourselves to the people we love. Moreover, it’s about doing it in the “here and now”, without waiting for tomorrow and without taking anything for granted.

It’s time to take control of time

Nowadays, the pillars of speed and the fragility of bonds are often present in the different experiences we go through:

• We want everything and we want it now. We don’t always tolerate frustration, being told “no”, or that certain things are different than what we expected.
• In recent years, there’s been an interesting social movement that’s referred to as “Slow” that stresses the importance of slowing down and allowing ourselves to live our relationships more fully, appreciating the most basic and simple things in life.
• Focusing on work, the need to improve, and getting and accumulating things all cause us to forget the value of this purest love and essential part of our personal relationships.
• If we keep this lifestyle up, we’ll end up losing everything that we truly consider important. And whatever you lose is a wound that you’ll forever carry in your heart.

This is where the saying “Appreciate people when you have them” makes sense. Because if you keep waiting, it may be too late.

The need to be conscious of what’s important

Haste is the greatest enemy of full consciousness. That is, when we’re impatient, it’s impossible to have an attitude towards life that allows us to dwell on the details that surround us. Likewise, we push the people we cherish to the background.

However, strong bonds are nourished by sincere affection, reciprocity, and recognition. Therefore, if we fail to cultivate these aspects in our relationships with others, we run the risk of encountering significant emotional losses.

Therefore, it’s worth slowing down and looking at what’s in front of us. Although it may seem obvious, sometimes one can forget what our priorities are, neglecting what’s important in the face of what’s secondary.

It’s clear to us that work obligations are, for example, essential when it comes to covering certain needs and developing a profession.

However, if such aspirations threaten our own health or prevent us from being with those we love, perhaps it’s time to take a different approach.

The importance of appreciating what you have

It seems that the key is to maintain a balance between those aspects that enrich us materially and those that enrich us emotionally.

We’re not saying you need to “live today as if there were no tomorrow” or “hug your children as if it were the last time”. It’s not about falling into a fatalistic viewpoint, but rather allowing ourselves to enjoy the present in its fullest sense.

Losses are often experienced with a certain amount of suffering. Even necessary separations lead us to a period of introspection during which the wounds we’ve suffered must heal. So, if we wish to prevent these situations, perhaps it’s better to take care of those details that are within our reach.

If you love someone, why not show them how you feel before you lose them?