When You’re In a Relationship but Always Feel Alone

· February 26, 2019
It’s important to be aware of the fact that you always feel alone even if you're with your partner. This will only destroy you little by little. Escape from this situation and enjoy a healthier life.

Are you in a relationship but you always feel alone? There’s a phrase that we’ve always considered to be of great importance, although we’ve never gone too deeply into what it means: “It’s better to be alone than in bad company.”

This is a clear reference to the situation where you have a partner, but you feel the same whether you are together or apart. Perhaps the most terrible relationship of all is the one that makes you feel alone even when you’re together. 

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When you don’t have someone by your side it can cause a sensation of fear, even dread, but imagine that you’re in a relationship with someone and you still feel alone.

This is a situation that’s more common than you might think. The problem arises when you decide not to resolve it.

When You’re With Your Partner But Still Feel Alone

Illustration of woman surrounded by roses feel alone

If you feel alone even when you’re with your partner, this can give rise to a deep feeling of emptiness that comes from within. Additionally, you may even think this emptiness is impossible to resolve because you’re already with a partner!

Sure, you’re not technically “alone,” at least not physically. However, just because a person is there in body doesn’t mean they’re there in spirit.

Sometimes you need to pay attention to the warning signs that you and your partner aren’t as close as you think.

Be wary of these red flags:

  • They don’t listen to you or pay attention to anything you say. Maybe they pretend to listen, but you know they’re not. You surprise them by asking questions that they answer incorrectly.
  • They don’t pay attention to you. This makes you feel inferior, perhaps even without realizing it (and you start repeating yourself to justify it).
  • You’ve caught them in a lie.
  • Instead of encouraging you, motivating you to pursue your dreams and take on that crazy project that’s come into your mind, they try to get you to leave that nonsense behind you.
  • Are you always to blame? A partner is there to support you, not sink you into misery. Perhaps you’ve been wrong, but that doesn’t mean that the person by your side should blame you and let you handle the damage alone.

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Illustration of roots flowing from woman feel alone

Are we describing the profile of a selfish person? Without a doubt. But this is a very common personality type and someone that you should get away from, especially if you’re starting to feel alone.

The person by your side doesn’t value you, doesn’t appreciate you, doesn’t care for you, and doesn’t support you unconditionally. You’re with a partner who does not offer you quality time, and that hurts.

Do You Feel Alone?

It’s not just that you feel sad, desolate, or disappointed… it’s that this loneliness with your partner can have devastating consequences for you in the long term.

Consider the fact that this is like being with a toxic person. They take and take from you, without reciprocating anything, until there is nothing left of you.

Suddenly you start suffering from anxiety attacks and depression. Why? The answer lies in the person who you still keep by your side.

The great difficulty comes from leaving this situation. Somehow your self-esteem has been reduced more and more until you start to feel like you’re at fault for what has happened.

The Emotional Wounds a Selfish Partner Brings You

You may even blame yourself for your feeling of loneliness.

Additionally, you start to put all your effort into establishing an emotional connection with your partner and making your relationship stronger and healthier.

Furthermore, you start to fear that your partner is leaving you because you haven’t managed to resolve things.

Illustration of woman's eye and pink flowers feel alone

You develop an emotional dependence and then the imbalance between you becomes clear.

You’ve stopped being yourself and have lost your strength fighting an impossible battle. If your partner makes you feel alone, don’t blame yourself. It’s not you – it’s them.

Choose your Own Solitude

If you’re at the point where you’re just realizing everything that is happening, ask for help. It doesn’t matter if you ask a friend, a family member, or a professional. You won’t be able to get out of this situation without people who truly support you.

Once you’ve left that person behind, cultivate your own solitude. The one that your partner engineered made you feel so bad, so look for your own – choose it.

This will be a healthy solitude where you’ll discover yourself and feel safe.

Although you might have been afraid in the past, today you know that this kind of loneliness is better than the one that person once made you feel.

5-painted-heart

Many people will come into your life to throw you off balance. You can’t forget, however, that they are also a test.

These experiences will teach you and help you become stronger. It hasn’t been in vain. It won’t happen again.

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  • Krasnova, H., Abramova, O., Notter, I., & Baumann, A. (2016, June). Why Phubbing is Toxic for your Relationship: Understanding the Role of Smartphone Jealousy among” Generation y” Users. In ECIS (p. ResearchPaper109).
  • Duck, S. (1977). Dynamics of relationships. Thousand Oaks, CA.
  • Gable, S. L., & Impett, E. A. (2012). Approach and avoidance motives and close relationships. Social and Personality Psychology Compass6(1), 95-108.
  • Locke, K. D. (2008). Attachment styles and interpersonal approach and avoidance goals in everyday couple interactions. Personal Relationships15(3), 359-374.