When You Accept Your Flaws, No One Can Use Them Against You

November 30, 2018
If you know and accept your flaws then no one will be able to use them against you. When you accept them as part of you they can make you stronger.

Everybody has flaws. No one on this planet is absolutely perfect.

Being able to see your own flaws and accept them will not only help you respect others, but will also prevent others from using your flaws against you.

Many of us spend half our lives trying to hide our imperfections with clothes or makeup.

See Also: 11 Tips for Long-Lasting Makeup

We describe these imperfections as “annoying flaws.” In reality, they’re capable of pummeling your self-esteem. However, they’re nothing more than aspects that define you as a person and which you should accept as soon as possible.

Being a little overweight, having a crooked nose, having breasts that are too small or too large, or suffering from male-pattern baldness are not real flaws.

Some examples real flaws are a lack of understanding and respect, criticism, selfishness, and aggression. These are what we should all strive to change about ourselves.

We invite you to reflect on this.

Your flaws and my flaws are our virtues

It’s often said that we’re a society of rational scholars, but emotional illiterates.

It may sound dramatic, but if you think about it, you’ll see that there’s not much empathy for or recognition of others as people who also have needs and fears.

There’s still no serious treatment of “emotional intelligence” in schools.

Instead of seeing this as a multidimensional skill that can help you throughout life, emotional intelligence is barely covered in formal education. Sometimes, the teachers aren’t even good examples to follow in this regard.

This is why we continue to produce insecure children with low self-esteem and teenagers who see flaws in themselves to the point that they turn these imperfections into black holes that others sense and use against them.

Also Read: Differences Between Sadness and Depression

It’s something complex and tricky that we must figure out how to deal with.

Not accepting your flaws is like being trapped.

The anatomy of self-esteem

When I have low self-esteem, I hope that others, with their words and actions, give me what I lack: confidence and security. I also hope that they give me compliments and tell me that I’m not as ugly as I think, or that they tell me that I am a better person than I think.

  • We must understand that others shouldn’t give or take anything away from us. The rest of the world shouldn’t fill in our gaps or calm our fears.
  • We mustn’t project our own needs onto others. Instead we should be able to build our own convictions and rationalize what we label as flaws.
  • If I believe that the freckles on my face are flaws or my slightly crooked nose is horrible, others will realize this and at some point may use it against me.
  • Having said that, it’s necessary to realize that the only true “flaw” in these cases is your own low self-esteem. That’s because it’s able to tell me that I should be shy and lower my gaze because of certain features I have.

Other people won’t attacks you because of the physical characteristics you view as negative. Rather, they’ll attack your vulnerability. Therefore, it’s vital that you raise our self-esteem, and view your flaws as virtues.

This woman has accepted her flaws and is comfortable with herself.

Flaws: virtues that make us special

We’re going to reiterate what we said before: the only real flaws you have are those in your own heart. These are such things as are used to attack, humiliate or hurt others.

Your physical appearance, or your way of thinking, feeling or living will never be a flaw or something reproachable as long as you respect yourself.

  • The problem with all this is that you spend too much of your existence concerned with the your outside appearance rather than with what’s inside of you.
  • People often validate their physical appearance based on fashion trends or on what others value as “beautiful.” If you don’t fit the mold, then you may feel that you’re excluding yourself. However, this is the wrong thing to do.
  •  You can realize how valuable you are only when you accept yourself.
  • People who are able to see that particular feature of their appearance, which is different from their other features, as a virtue are the happiest people because they’re being authentic. 
This woman accepts her flaws.

Self-worth is not tied to your appearance

Being too tall, too short, having a mole on your cheek, being born with curly rebellious hair, or having small or very large breasts shouldn’t factor into your self-worth.

The beauty of people lies in their variety, their originality. If you aspire to be the same as others, then you’re tarnishing the essence of your beauty. It’s not worth it.

There are no people with flaws, but there are minds with gaps. Approach your life in a new way and start to raise your self-esteem, your way of being, your unique and particular beauty.

Stokes, S. L. (2004). Emotional intelligence. Information Systems Management. http://doi.org/10.1201/1078/44118.21.2.20040301/80427.13