When You Accept Your Flaws, No One Can Use Them Against You

· December 13, 2016
If we know and accept our flaws then no one use them against us. When we accept them as part of us they will make us stronger.

Everybody has flaws. No one on this planet is absolutely perfect.

Being able to see our own flaws and accept them will not only help us to respect others, but will also prevent others from using our flaws against us.

Many of us spend half our lives trying to hide our imperfections with clothes or makeup.

We describe these imperfections as “annoying flaws.” In reality, they’re capable of plummeting our self-esteem. However, they’re nothing more than aspects that define us as a person and which we should accept as soon as possible.

Being a little overweight, having a crooked nose, having breasts that are too small or too large, or suffering from male-pattern baldness are not real flaws.

Instead, real flaws are a lack of understanding and respect, criticism, selfishness or aggression. These are what we should all strive to change about ourselves.

We invite you to reflect on this.


Your flaws and my flaws are our virtues

It’s often said that we are a society of rational scholars, but also of emotional illiterates.

It may sound dramatic, but in reality in our daily lives we recognize that there is little empathy, reciprocity or recognition of others as people who also have needs and fears.

In schools, the subject “Emotional Intelligence” has not yet been properly introduced.

Instead of seeing this approach as a multidimensional aspect capable of supporting all subjects, where teachers are the best models, it continues to be taught in isolation, a few times a week or not at all.

All this makes us continue producing insecure children with low self-esteem and teenagers who see flaws in themselves to the point that they turn these imperfections into black holes that others sense and use against them.

It’s something complex and tricky that we must know how to deal with.

mujer-en-tarro-de-cristal

The anatomy of self-esteem

When I have low self-esteem, I hope that others, with their words and actions, give me what I lack: confidence and security. I also hope that they give me compliments and tell me that I’m not as ugly as I think, or that they tell me that I am a better person than I think.

  • We must understand that others shouldn’t give or take anything away from us. The rest of the world shouldn’t fill in our gaps or calm our fears.
  • We mustn’t project our own needs onto others. Instead we should be able to build our own convictions and rationalize what we label as flaws.
  • If I believe that the freckles on my face are flaws or my slightly crooked nose is horrible, others will realize this and at some point may use it against me.
  • Having said that, it’s necessary to realize that the true “flaw” in these cases is our low self-esteem. This is because it’s able to tell me that I should be shy and lower my gaze because of certain features of have.

Other people won’t attacks us because of the physical characteristics we view as negative. Instead, they’ll attack our vulnerability. Therefore, it’s vital that we raise our self-esteem, and view our flaws as virtues.


mujer-con-un-farol

Flaws: virtues that make us special

We’re going to reiterate what we said before: the real flaw that we have is in our heart, which is capable of attacking, humiliating or hurting others.

Our physical appearance, our way of thinking, feeling or living will never be a flaw or something reproachable as long as we respect ourselves.

  • The problem with all this is that we spend too much of our existence concerned with the our outside appearance rather than with what’s inside of us.
  • We validate our physical appearance based on fashion trends or on what others value as “beautiful.” If we don’t fit the mold, then we exclude ourselves. However, this is the wrong thing to do.
  •  We will realize how valuable we are only when we accept ourselves.
  • People who are able to see that particular feature of their appearance, which is different from their other features, as a virtue are the happiest people because they are considered authentic. 
mujer-pelo-rojo que acepta sus defectos

Being too tall, too short, having a mole on your cheek, being born with curly and horribly rebellious hair, or having small or very large breasts are not part of your self-worth.

The beauty of people lies in our variety, our originality. If we all aspire to be the same then we tarnish our essence and beauty. It’s not worth it.

There are no people with flaws, but there are minds with gaps. Approach your life in another way and start to raise your self-esteem, your way of being, your unique and particular beauty.