When You Accept Your Flaws, No One Can Use Them Against You

3 minutes

If you know and accept your flaws then no one will be able to use them against you, given that you'll have internalized them, thus making you stronger.

When You Accept Your Flaws, No One Can Use Them Against You

Reviewed and approved by psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Written by Valeria Sabater

Last update: 27 May, 2022

Everybody has flaws. No one on this planet is absolutely perfect. Being able to see your own flaws and accept them won’t only help you respect others, but will also prevent others from using your flaws against you.
We’re not speaking of major flaws. Many of us spend half of our lives trying to hide some imperfection under clothes or makeup. Details that we ourselves qualify as “annoying”.

In reality, they’re capable of pummeling your self-esteem. However, they’re nothing more than aspects that can’t define you as a person in your totality. That’s why you should accept them as soon as possible.

We invite you to reflect on this.

Your flaws, my flaws: our virtues

Woman hiding her flaws. — Accepting your flaws is a fundamental step to achieve emotional maturity.

It’s often said that we’re a society of rational scholars, but emotional illiterates. It may sound dramatic, no doubt.
However, if you think about it, you’ll see that there’s a lack of empathy, reciprocity and recognition of others who also have needs and fears.
There’s still no serious treatment of “emotional intelligence” in schools. Instead of seeing this approach as a multidimensional aspect capable of structuring all subjects, it continues to be taught in isolation.
This’s why we continue to produce insecure children with low self-esteem and teenagers who see flaws in themselves to the point that they turn these imperfections into black holes that others sense and use against them.
It’s something complex and tricky that we must figure out how to deal with.

Also Read: Differences Between Sadness and Depression

The anatomy of self-esteem

When I have low self-esteem, I hope that others, with their words and actions, give me what I lack: confidence and security. I also hope for compliments and to be told that I’m not as ugly as I think, or hat I’m a better person than I think.

We must understand that others shouldn’t give or take anything away from us. The rest of the world shouldn’t fill in our gaps or calm our fears.
We mustn’t project our own needs onto others. Instead we should be able to build our own convictions and rationalize what we label as flaws.
If I believe that the freckles on my face are flaws or my slightly crooked nose is horrible, others will realize this and at some point they may use it against me.
Having said that, it’s necessary to realize that the only true “flaw” in these cases is my own low self-esteem. That’s because it tells me that I should be shy and lower my gaze because of certain details.

Flaws: virtues that make us special

Success and self-improvement depend on the acceptance of our flaws.

We’re going to reiterate what we said before: the only real flaws we have are those in our own heart, that attack, humiliate or hurt others.

Your physical appearance, or your way of thinking, feeling or living will never be a flaw or something reproachable as long as there’s respect.
The problem is that we spend a great part of our existence concerned with the outside rather than the inside.
People often validate their physical appearance based on fashion trends or on what others regard as “beautiful.” If we don’t fit the mold, we self-exclude. However, this isn’t the right thing to do.
Only when we accept ourselves we realize how valuable we are.
People who are able to see that particular aspect, which is different from their other features, as a virtue, are the happiest people. In fact, they regard themselves as authentic.

Being too tall, too short, having a mole on your cheek, being born with curly rebellious hair, or having small or very large chest… What does it matter?

See Also: 11 Tips for Long-Lasting Makeup

The beauty of people lies in their variety, their originality. If you aspire to be the same as others, then you’re tarnishing the essence of your beauty. It’s n ot worth it.
There are no people with flaws, but there are minds with gaps. Approach your life in a new way and start to raise your self-esteem, your way of being, your unique and particular beauty.