4 Buddhist Teachings about Love
The concept of love that Buddhism offers us is very different from the classic image of romantic love, which the world of literature and film has translated into a series of misconceptions, some of which can even be painful.
Setting aside whether you are spiritual, religious, or agnostic – or a bit of everything – it’s always good to learn about different approaches to seeing the same reality because it can enrich you personally.
Love is and will always be a complex and exciting dimension. It’s something that we learn about every day, so it’s worth getting to know some interesting theories that can help you grow on the inside and in turn, cultivate happier, healthier relationships.
Buddhism is one way to do this. That’s why today we want to share some of the pillars of this faith that are magical and wise, and propose that we reflect on them for a few minutes.
Love in Buddhism
In the Buddhist texts and different manifestations of this old religion, love is above all part of your internal being – both that of you and your partner.
It’s interesting to learn that to Buddha, love is a subtle and wonderful blend of joy and compassion. At the same time, remember that in this spiritual approach, no one should exalt themselves above others or feel the need to “cling” to anything or anyone.
See also Who is the right partner for me?
This “detachment” is part of the essential freedom of the human soul to flow and advance along the wheel of life and through each cycle that comes. By detachment, however, you shouldn’t think that means that you don’t get to be together with your loved ones.
For Buddhism, love means to recognize another person as part of yourself, in joy and respect, but at the same time you must allow for the personal growth of the person you love.
This is where we find one of the most beautiful aspects of this view.
Let’s explore it in more detail.
1. Unconditional goodness
Buddhism reminds us that one of the main pillars of your life should be goodness.
- The act of being noble of heart and mind means that we do the best we can for ourselves, while also respecting and caring for those who surround us.
- With love, this is especially true, because it is at the level of the couple where unconditional goodness should be most clearly expressed and needed.
- Being a respectful couple, worrying about each other’s welfare, and finding a personal balance by being noble in your actions and words is a value neither of you should neglect.
2. The capacity for joy and happiness for the person you love
Love, when it is true, mature, and wise, will never bring sorrow or tears. The person who wants to make you happy will never make you cry.
We also recommend Patience and silence: virtues of wise people
- The texts of Buddhism remind us that in order to love someone you have to observe them and find out what makes them happy.
- This understanding becomes the road where two people meet, and to further this mutual understanding you should be able to enjoy your time together, talking with joy, watching in silence to also delve into the concerns of your soul.
- Happiness is expressed and observed, and love is offered with joy – never through tears or extortion.
At the same time, Buddhism also reminds us that we need to be happy in solitude before entering a relationship. Only calm and happy hearts are able to give the best of themselves.
Compassion must be understood as a noble and sincere desire to alleviate the suffering of another person, especially the one they love.
- Buddhism reminds us that in order to find the reason for your loved one’s suffering, sometimes words are not enough. Words may not always be sincere or brave.
- You must learn to observe, to develop the empathy that enables your eyes to read another’s soul. As you can already guess, this spiritual approach also invites you to learn to meditate.
Only when you find your own inner balance and peace can you connect with others in their emotional worlds.
4. Fairness and freedom in a couple
This is an important and complex aspect of relationships. If you love someone, how do you promote their freedom? How do you create a space where you can both be together but at the same time be free to grow?
- It’s important to look at things in a relative sense. To start with, true love should always be offered with total freedom.
“I love you because I also love myself, and I feel free to love you and assist you with your growth as well as my own.”
Personal freedom is, as we said, an exceptional value, and although it can seem difficult to put into practice it can help you achieve more mature relationships.
It’s important to create a common space in your relationship while also understanding that the other person will continue growing internally. It’s a path that you follow together, hand in hand, but freely at the same time.