Showing Affection is to Touch Another’s Soul
Treating someone with affection is to respectfully touch the souls of those you love, using the right words and phrases and above all, seeing others as a part of who you are.
Zick Rubin was the first psychologist who researched this theme of love and how it affects personal relationships.
This author also pointed out that there are subtle differences between love and affection, and it’s common courtesy to be close to those who make up the most immediate parts of your life.
The love that you feel for a romantic partner or a child, however, is much more intimate and requires a different kind of affection. This type of affection strengthens the bond between you.
We invite you to reflect more on this today.
The psychology of showing affection, an art form from the heart
Experts in emotional psychology tell us that affection is primarily a social strategy that allows you to create more intimate, meaningful, and lasting ties.
This is something that no one could doubt because in personal relationships – whether between friends, family members, or partners, a person who acts harshly or with coldness can generate distrust and above all, unhappiness.
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Your social brain is guided by a number of neurotransmitters that allow you to “connect” with other people.
Oxytocin, for example, is both a hormone and a neurotransmitter, one of the most important biochemical components that fosters feelings like affection, love, and the need for care and attention.
Oxytocin is key in the growth of an infant.
You might also like to know that even though love is a fundamental force in the affective behavior of human beings, it’s also very common in animals. They too know the language of love and are even gifted at developing this emotion.
Life without affection is an empty glass
A life without emotional expression means that your personal relationships are not being reaffirmed.
- It’s also important to remember that children who are raised without affection, attention, or touch experience different maturity rates for their brains.
- Fear, emotional stress, and low self-esteem are common features of those little ones who go through a childhood filled with trauma or a lack of love.
- By the same token, adults can also experience those shortcomings. If your partner in a relationship doesn’t treat you with affection, respect, and intimacy, you are suffering from a form of emotional abuse, whether you know it or not.
Distance, aggression, sarcasm, or even the avoidance of eye contact can build a wall between a couple, causing inescapable suffering.
See also Relationships: 7 things beyond love
Affection is a form of energy that flows between people
Without a doubt you’ve noticed this already, but when you experience affection, respect, and care for those around you it generates a type of emotional energy that benefits everyone.
Creating this kind of positive energy enriches you – it costs nothing and yet is worth so much. That’s why you should always try to practice the following:
- Look at and pay attention to people who speak to you.
- Listen with empathy and use affirming words: I understand, I know, I realize what you’re going through, you’re right, I can put myself in your position…
- Make use of those simple gestures that trigger positive emotions: a smile, a touch, laughter, an arm around the shoulder…
- Don’t hesitate to use a serene tone of voice where you avoid yelling, or showing derision or contempt.
Finally, as you put these healthy behaviors into practice, don’t feel like you can’t request them from others.
You deserve respect and should also benefit from these gestures that contain true love, the ability that everyone should have to touch your soul with affection.