Every now and then you might be suspicious that your partner has betrayed your trust or is cheating on you. It could be that there are some small clues that get you to thinking, even as they deny any wrongdoing…but that feeling that something is wrong can cause you great stress.
Nevertheless, it’s difficult to know with complete certainty if your relationship is truly compromised, especially if they don’t confess.
That’s why in today’s article we want to shed some light on this matter and give you some hints and things to look for to see what’s really happening. But it’s important to emphasize that nothing we describe in this article should be a substitute for an honest discussion with your partner.
It’s important that you be especially careful not to draw hasty or unfounded conclusions about the possibility or likelihood of your infidelity of a partner.
1. A sudden obsession with their cell phone and social networks
These are two important factors that need to be assessed before anything else. First of all, your partner could have a problem or addiction to social networks that you need to help them overcome.
That’s why you need to consider whether their need for constant connection started suddenly, or has been increasing slowly and over time.
The fact is, however, that constant use of a cell phone and the computer can lead to suspicion and hidden behavior. Watch to see if your partner keeps their cell phone on their person at all times, controlling and constantly checking their messages and calls, deleting their call or message records, or using their phone at odd hours.
But remember that no matter what you suspect you should never check their cell phone or social networks, even if you feel certain that they’re being unfaithful. This is a blatant breach of their privacy and of their trust.
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2. They have a new activity or pastime that you aren’t invited to participate in
Suddenly your partner has an amazing new hobby, and you don’t understand how they got into it, but they’re unwilling to let you participate or share anything about the activity with you.
If this is happening, you should be cautious and understand that this might be their way of claiming a little much-needed personal space.
This is why you need to carefully examine what could be going on with this, and not take it as an unconditional sign of infidelity of a partner. It’s worth reminding you once again that there’s no such thing as a 100% sign of betrayal.
3. Every day they have more meetings and obligations
Sometimes these are the activities that can make you sense that something is wrong. If your partner is having meetings outside of work hours or an odd academic schedule, it can lead you to suspect that something is out of the ordinary.
If on each of these occasions your partner provides the minute details of every single place they’ve gone or thing they’ve done without being asked, they’re probably not speaking completely honestly. As the saying goes: an unsolicited excuse can betray the guilt.
Nevertheless, remember that things don’t always play out like this and you don’t need to take this new hobby or pastime as the confirmation of a guilt you’re seeking.
4. You find lipstick, hair, or smell perfume or cologne on their clothing
Physical evidence is the strongest when it comes to infidelity. Observing and understanding the appearance of these signs can give you irrefutable ammunition to help you confront your partner with the situation.
5. Suddenly your partner is more confident
New relationships can often give your self-esteem a breath of fresh air and boost your confidence. So if your partner suddenly seems like they’re much more confident than before, without any other behavioral change, it could be a cause for suspicion.
This type of change doesn’t have to be bad in and of itself. But when it appears along with the other signs we’ve already discussed, it could be an indicator that they’re involved with someone else.
6. Suddenly your partner is more interested in their appearance
This point is linked to the previous one. Your partner might begin to care about how they look or change their appearance suddenly, when before they seemed happy with their style. This could just be a whim or something they secretly felt like doing for a while, or it could be a sign that they’re trying to look better for someone else.
This is why, again, it’s important to remember that these things could be signs of infidelity, but you shouldn’t jump to conclusions.
7. Their love for you is renewed
Maybe after a few years of living together and getting into a similar sexual routine your partner surprises you with new interests and dedication. This could be their desire to renew your relationship, or it could mean that they’re learning new things outside your relationship.
What’s behind their infidelity?
As we’ve described already, while these and other behaviors may serve as indicators that there’s another person in your partner’s life, it could also be a false alarm.
That’s why we repeat yet again that you need to always proceed with caution in these instances, and avoid causing unnecessary damage to your relationship.First of all, you need to think about whether something is really wrong with your relationship in the first place.
Because infidelity is one of the issues that raises the most public interest, there have been many studies that collect information on the factors that are associated with deception between couples.
We want to highlight some of those here, so that if the time comes, you’ll have more information to help you really understand the situation:
- A lack of love. It’s not uncommon for displays of love to fade with time, even though you still care deeply about that person. That might make it possible to look for someone else even while staying with your partner, even though you’ve broken your bond.
- Routine and boredom. Over time, doing the same things over and over lose their excitement, and people go in search of new stimuli. Curiosity and sexual or emotional dissatisfaction can also cause infidelity.
- The need for seduction. Some people are extremely vain and narcissistic, letting their conquests and attractiveness rate their appeal.
- False or selfish beliefs that justify infidelity. Saying “Just this once,” “I’ve never been with anyone else so I deserve to try,” “There’s never been anyone else I’ve wanted like this,” “It’s just sex,” or “I can’t miss out on this opportunity.”
- A value system that doesn’t punish infidelity.
- Hidden and unresolved communication problems can generate resentment that builds up in a relationship.
- Loneliness in a relationship that arises from the emotional distance or a lack of affection.
- The lack of sexual satisfaction. This can lead to someone looking for another more compatible partner.
- Unrealistic expectations and idealization of the relationship can create huge disappointment, causing one partner to distance himself or herself from the other.