Maybe they have hurt you more than once, but have you ever stopped to think about why they did it? We rarely think about what could have caused another person to act that way.
This is normal behavior for wounded people, however.
Other times, they’re just trying to protect themselves in this very incorrect way. Without realizing it, they hurt others because they are hurting.
See: The dark pain of depression
Wounded people have suffered greatly
Today, we’ll give you some examples to help you understand why wounded people behave in this manner.
Imagine that a child has been mistreated and has also seen how it’s affected one of their parents. Without realizing it, the child will come to think that behavior is “normal” and begin to reproduce it.
Although they cry and feel pain, in adulthood they may mistreat their partner or use violence against anyone who defies them. After all, its’ a pattern of behavior they’ve seen since childhood.
In the event that this type of aggression only occurs in adulthood, the person might try to act the same way in future relationships to avoid it happening to him or her.
Inside, they think: “better than it being me again.”
The same thing goes with those who have been deprived of affection. When they’re in relationships, they cling to the other person and suffer from a terrible emotional dependence.
How does it create wounds?
Jealousy, a need to control your partner so they don’t abandon you, guilt, making someone else responsible for your own happiness…
In the end, the other person winds up being worn out by their toxic relationship.
What should you do around wounded people?
You cannot truly try to change a wounded person. Sometimes, they know that they can’t go on like this and are aware of what they’re doing wrong.
It is their decision, however, and something that others can’t make them see. Most of the time, their behavior is not premeditated.
So what can you do for these people to keep them from hurting you?
Here are some options:
- Don’t go any farther than necessary. Sometime,s they may try to manipulate you. Others will discover your past and make you feel pity. You are important too, however, and you have to take care of yourself.
- You can approach them about it if you wish, but no more than necessary. When you’ve reached your limit, learn to walk away.
- Avoid acting like them. They’re wounded, and if you act like them you will help them continue to behave that way and potentially even damage their self-esteem even further.
- If you recognize that they are trying to hurt you, turn around.
- Don’t tell them what to do. No one can help another person if they are not willing to receive it. If you want to avoid getting worn out or trying in vain, don’t tell them to seek professional help or try to influence their path.
Your best option is to accept wounded people just the way that they are. Everyone has been hurt and perhaps we have also hurt others without meaning to.
Your instinct for survival will not always proceed in the most appropriate way. It knows no values, no rules. It just wants you to survive and overcome what happened to you.
So don’t look down on that child who harasses another child at school because they may lack self-esteem and face a lot of problems at home.
What’s ideal is to stop the behavior and try to correct it in time, before it becomes more difficult once they reach adulthood.Once you are mature, you alone can open your eyes, recognize what is happening, and ask for help to change and stop hurting others.