There are many people who decide to give up on love simply because they don’t want to get hurt again. Traumatic experiences from the past can give you this idea. But we invite you to be brave and try again. Why not?
Loving Freely without Pain
They normally say there is no sentimental and affective relationship that does not imply a certain dosage of pain. In some way, this is understandable. Many feelings, emotions, and even your own personal balance come into play. But there are many couples that establish a lasting and healthy relationship, which is where happiness and that everyday comfort comes from when two people enrich each other mutually. Why not aim for that?
There may have been difficult times in your life, but we assure you that love is something that is always worth the risk. But you should know how to protect yourself and control a few basic dimensions to always keep your self-esteem up. Take note of the following tips.
1. Know Yourself Well
This sentence may seem nonspecific and vague. But it is necessary to know yourself well in order to establish a stable and mature relationship. Do you know what your limits are? What would you never be willing to do or support? What has hurt you the most? There are people who allow their own values to get broken and let their personal limits get crossed so that little by little, their self esteem gets lower. Be clear about what you like and don’t like. Start a relationship maturely and safely. “I know who I am and I am not going to let anyone destroy my integrity.”
2. Have a Relationship to Be Happy, Not to Cry
Be clear on one thing: one keeps a relationship going with their partner to be happy, to establish a compromise that gives continuity and enriches them as a person. If you start to realize that there are more tears than smiles at some point, this is the time to start to value certain things. But you should keep in mind that there are few things as intense in life as feeling loved and loving someone. It is something that is worth the effort. Think of the objective as being happy and that trying it once is more than worth while. Everyone deserves second chances, and people who are worth it will know how to truly make you wake up every day with a smile.
3. Always Be yourself, Don’t Let Yourself Change
You know how you are. You know that you are good at many things, that you are brave, capable, and have many relatives and friends that love you. Your own self esteem and social circle show you how you are and the virtues you have. If the person that you like or who you’re in love with puts your self esteem down or undervalues you in something, don’t continue with them. You should move away from those who threaten your personality and make you feel inferior. Two people come together to learn about one another, to enjoy, to laugh, to share, and to grow. Once you don’t feel like yourself, run. But if the person values you as you are, loves you for your virtues and also your defects, don’t lose them. And we assure you that there are people like that, people that deserve to be loved.
4. Don’t Give Everything to Someone Else, Protect Yourself
There are relationships in which you do everything for the person you love, until the point that you lose your own integrity and self esteem. Don’t let them manipulate or blackmail you, or act like emotional vampires. Love should be an exchange where both people offer an equal balance. “I give to you freely because I know that you would do the same thing for me.” If you give but don’t receive anything, and you don’t get respect, you will get frustrated. It’s best to find someone who will love you without wanting anything in return.
5. The Importance of Personal Space
You surely have your passions, hobbies, past times… The things that you like to do with your friends or relatives. These are things you should never give up because others make you. Respect for personal space is essential for establishing a healthy relationship with a partner. One thing is the space that is shared between both partners, which is enjoyed, to make a common life, but everyone needs those moments of solitude to be alone, those pleasant and enriching times with your friends. You should keep in mind that if you “cut back” on personal space until it disappears because of your partner, you lose part of your identity and this is not healthy. But if the other person respects you and allows you to enjoy your personal space freely, it is someone who is worth it.
Remember, loving is not a synonym of pain. Love is the maximum expression of happiness and the will to live. It is an adventure that is worth the effort and you deserve it as well.
We hope you’ve enjoyed this article on how to love without pain.