We All Need Alone Time: The Real Benefits of Solitude
We've always been made to think that solitude is for failures, when really it is something that helps us grow and enables us to discover the best of ourselves. We all need alone time.
Did you know that there are many benefits of solitude?
You may not. After all, the society we’ve grown up in hugely prioritizes romantic relationships. If you’re not in a relationship or you’re not able to sustain one over the long term, you’re quickly considered a failure.
All of this can cause serious problems. We can end up depending on a partner to be happy or living in constant anxiety looking for the person with whom we can conform to society’s standards.
The price of solitude can be simultaneously scary and very enriching
The price of solitude can be intimidating at first. The consequences of choosing to be alone are exactly that: to be alone, facing abandonment.
You’re probably aware of how much people humiliate themselves to avoid losing the person they love. You’ve seen how much some tolerate so that the person who gives meaning to their existence doesn’t leave them. After all, if they do, they’ll be left empty and won’t know what to do.
Although humans are sociable beings, this doesn’t mean that we depend on others to be happy or, more definitively, to live.
Some people are so dependent that they feel lost. They lack their own opinions and they attach themselves so much to their partner that they stop being themselves.
“Who am I?”, “What do I want?”, “What do I like?” These are questions that, believe it or not, many people do not know how to answer. If they do, their answer may well be what their partner is or what their partner likes, does or wants.
Thanks to solitude, you can discover yourself again. You can truly be yourself.
You’ve camouflaged yourself and you’ve stopped being you due to a fear that’s nothing more than that: an unfounded fear.
You don’t need anyone else to live a happy life; you only need yourself.
Nobody understands those who choose to be alone
The price of solitude is very hard to bear. After all, it’ll be difficult to find people around you who support you. Many will believe that you’re strange, that you’ve gone crazy, or that you have some kind of trauma.
Don’t expect anyone to understand you. Be prepared for many people who you considered “friends” to distance themselves from you.
Moreover, you may discover that when you distance yourself from them, they weren’t true friends anyway. However, it’s a good thing to discover that.
When we remain alone and we give space to those who we love or we think we love, we realize how much we’ve given for them and how little we’ve been compensated for it.
Plus, we become aware that we were at the helm in our relationships and that, as soon as we let go, the ship sinks.
Why did we assume this great responsibility? Why did we immerse ourselves in relationships that weren’t entirely real or true?
The answer is found in our great fear of being alone. This clouded our vision and made us give 100% of ourselves to those who gave barely 15% for us.
The importance of dedicating time to self-knowledge
The above is a great discovery, but what’s greater still is when we realize who we really are. Because, even if we think we know ourselves, this usually isn’t truly the case.
We live in a world full of noise. In this world, banal conversations and hypocritical friendships are abundant and surround us. We press the “automatic pilot” button and off we go, like zombies, without tasting nor experiencing life in its full essence.
The price of solitude is not as negative as it may seem, because you’ll open your eyes to the reality of both your relationships and yourself.
Before you go, don’t miss: Being Alone Hurts, the Pain Can Help You Heal
You’ll realize how much you didn’t know about yourself and how much time you need to give yourself to know yourself better.
In addition, you’ll also become aware that nobody is obliged to satisfy your need for affection or love, because you can give it to yourself.
The price of solitude is a marvelous path on which you’ll understand that depending on someone does have a heavy price: your happiness.
Images courtesy of Luca Hollestelle, María Tudela, Austin Tott, Laura Williams.